New here, need support

[[Th...]]

Hi,

 

I am here because i have no one to talk to besides my husband and my psychiatrist, and this situation is starting to drive me nuts.

 

I was prescribed Ativan 2 years ago for a plane flight.  It worked like a charm.  My doctor said i could use it for my social anxiety (for events like parties etc.). 

 

I don't drink (it doesn't agree with me).

 

This year i had a lot of scary things to go thru, several cancer scares for myself, skin cancer, my moms breast cancer, my 47-year-old friend dying from lung cancer. So i took Ativan more regularly, due to increased anxiety.  This summer i took it daily, 1 to 2 mgs a day.  In september i stopped taking it because i realized this might be a bad idea.  I tried to taper myself, but went to fast and started feeling horrible.  Shakes, nausea, unreality, dizzyness. 

 

Went to psych and told him what's going on.  He made taper schedule.  He also prescribed Neurontin because i once had a seizure due to Wellbutrin.  I also take 200mg Lamotrigine for bipolar 2.

 

I am following his taper schedule, but i have been taking more Neurontin than he lrescribed (600mg a day vs. 300mg a day).  I already put a call in to ask him for a higher dosage prescription.

 

I just had another horrible wave that made me worried about getting a seizure.

 

I am now taking 1mg Ativan a day, split into four doses.

 

Am i doing this right?  Why do i still have very scary symptoms??  Every morning i wake up feeling like a human vibrator.  It's a weird humming, vibrating sensation (full body).

 

I hate this.  Please comment.

 

 

[[me...]]

Hi Thisisnofun.  Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  Tapering can be stressful, and it's normal to have some symptoms as one tapers.  We generally recommend a taper rate of about 5-10% every 10-14 days, though individual rates vary.  It's good that your doctor is helping you taper, and the main purpose of tapering slowly is to avoid seizures as well as some other very unpleasant symptoms.  Here are a few links you'll find useful:

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper).

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

[[Th...]]

Thank you Megan!  I will check out the links.

Already feeling better just finding this forum.

[[pr...]]

Dear Thisisnofun,

 

Welcome to the forum. I had the weird vibrations towards the end of my taper. It feels really weird but it went away in a week or so.  There are so many weird things that happen during withdrawal. After a while I just learned to chalk everything up to withdrawal. There is no other way. Glad your husband seems to be a support? Good luck.

[[Th...]]

Thx Prufrock,  yes, hubby is supportive but has no clue what this feels like.  I am glad i found this forum!

[[Ba...]]

I understand what you are saying about your hubby. Mine is very supportive too. But too doesn't understand. He also struggles with the fact that this is such a long process. I have had some windows already which I know is a positive sign, and I also try to keep a lot of my pain to myself so when a really bad wave hits (such as I have had this week) he often doesn't realise how much I'm both suffering and struggling to function. I have a very hard time asking for his help, and I will more often call a crisis line, or like yesterday join this forum. It was only due to my needing his email to join that he realised that my current state of unwell was due to withdrawal and not a virus I picked up last week..... Although I am sure the virus isn't helping at all. He and I have given up tobacco in the past and I think he thinks that this process would be similar. I wish it was. I hate the mornings. The 3 am wake ups - then the tossing and turning with pins and needles and just the visions of slashing my wrists until I finally give up and get out of bed. I appreciate his efforts and want so much to be better but am scared. So scared

[[...]]

I love you name and so right thisisnofun.  We have a very similar benzo use background.  I was taking Attivan very occasionally - for long flights with time changes maybe twice a month for a few years then had a cancer scare and bad reaction to chemo and took everyday for 4 months not knowing that was a bad idea.  Have crossed over to Klonopin and am tapering.  Has not been  fun but doable.  I don't have a job or kids and you might need to try even slower if you do.  I am 57 thought so if you are younger you might heal faster.  Never know.  If I had it to do again I don't know if I would cross over from Ativan to Klonopin or not.  I dropped to fast on the Ativan so it was bad.  If I had gone slower it might have been OK.  If you cross over to Klonopin, I'd just be sure to make sure you cross over with an adequate dose of Klonopin (clonazepam).  I didn't and took me a month to stabalize with lots of symptoms.  My Pdocs all recommended clonazepam over valium saying that valium stays in your fat cells for a long time so when you stop symptoms hang around longer.  But some people valium works better for.  Also others recommend not crossing over and just spreading out your Ativan doses over the day.  I would probably myself try that first if I had it to do over again, and if it was too bad switch to clonazepam.  After I stablized on clonazepam the taper has been tolerable.

[[...]]

My Pdoc first suggested 20% cuts.  After reading advice on benzo buddies I did 10% much better. 

[[Th...]]

It seems like 20% per week is a rather fast taper.  Thank you everyone for sharing your stories, this really helps!  I feel better now, i thought i was going crazy

[Guest [Mo...]]

I also take 200mg Lamotrigine for bipolar 2.

 

If you were diagnosed with BP2 while you were taking Ativan or in between the times you took it or after you stopped cold turkey, you might want to research stories of those who had the same thing happen to them. The misdiagnosis of BP2 is quite common. In many cases it's the drugs not you.

[[Ki...]]

Thisisnofun - I too was a sporadic Ativan user, then was hospitalized for a leg injury, an prescribed Ativan as muscle relaxer for 10 days. Tried to go back to occasional use and it did not go well. At all. Stabilized at 3mg in Jan/14 and am now down to .44mg - I dose 5x a day.

 

There is lots of info on the Tapering off Ativan support thread. You'll find it under support groups on the main page.

 

Everything you are feeling is normal. I get the vibrations as well, but once I slowed my taper down it went away. It's a good gauge, for me, if I'm moving to fast in my taper. I haven't had it for months.

 

Take care and hope you'll visit the Ativan thread

[[Th...]]

My bipolar was diagnosed 11 years ago, i do think it is the correct diagnosis.  With medication my symptoms/ behaviors went away, and i felt normal!  The ativan was prescribed two years ago for the first time for flight and social phobia

[[Th...]]

Kiddo,  i have been dosing four times a day.  It is really difficult.  I wish this was something i could just take twice a day, but it doesn't work.