Struggling and sick

[[Ba...]]

I have used valium sparodically over the last ten years. This year I started on 2 weeks of thearautic doses that escalated into a crazy binge for about 3 weeks then a painful short self induced 5 day taper. Needless to say I ended up in ER and in the last 10 weeks have tapered 60mg valium to 25mg. I have recently had terrible diareah which I feel is affecting my taper. I have 3 children to care for and need to be functional. Please help

[[be...]]

Hi Bacdchoices Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I am sorry you are feeling badly. In my opinion you are tapering way too fast. The recommended reduction is 5 to 10 percent every two weeks.

 

You might like to check out The Ashton Manual it is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms. There are also tapering plans here.

 

Please feel free to post to any of the dedicated boards, we have a wonderful community of people here, who will give sound advice. Members have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal and are more than willing to share their experiences.

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again Welcome! 

 

benzos-R-cruel

 

[[Ba...]]

Thanks so much for replying. I have read the Ashton manual many times and was aware I was tapering too fast but my GP was very angered at my mistakes and perhaps lacks benzo wisdom. The first time I saw him he said "I thought you were a good mum, clearly I was wrong". Second he said " I don't know why your husband doesn't leave you for another woman". I tried other GPs one told me to get out he didn't want to treat me, another called me manipulative. I have finally found one that seems benzo wise and is helping with my journey but only found him Tuesday. I did write a more detailed reply but was logged out in the meantime - unfortunately my GP stories are actually far worse than mentioned above and life itself has not been easy in every aspect - but this will have to be a brief summary as my little man is up and I have to try be the best mum I can be to him xo

[[Ba...]]

I am sorry to add more but I am really struggling right now. I hardly have time to write as I have 3 young children and a house that I'm hoping to get clean (which is a mammoth task as I have always been the house keeper and it has really degraded during my taper). We have an evaluation coming up as our house mortgage was taken out linked to my mothers house and she has just decided to sell. I thought lack of inspections one of the positives of owning - or paying the bank for a house, and the timing is ludicrous - as often happens in life. I am desperate for some emotional support.

[[De...]]

Hello Bad choices,

 

Welcome to the forum from me too 

 

I'm pleased to hear you you've found a benzo wise doctor who is prepared to help you, your original doctor doesn't sound like a very nice person at all.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much but as benzos-R-cruel said you are tapering very quickly, much faster than what is recommended and this will almost certainly be the reason why the withdrawal symptoms are so strong. If I was you, I would hold my taper until I felt more stable and then when I resumed tapering I would take it much slower, within the guidelines that you've been given By slowing down your taper rate you should see a good improvement with the symptoms which will enable you to remain as functional as possible. Try to be kind to yourself with relation to looking after the house. many members are not able to be as good a housekeeper as they'd like when they're tapering and you have 3 children to look after also, I really feel for you.

 

I'm glad you found us and I wish you success with the taper.

 

Debbie

 

 

[[Ba...]]

Thank you for your encouraging words. I will pause on 25 until I feel stable. It takes a lot of patience to taper the right way, but having felt the evils of cold turkey I know I have to heal my brain as much as possible. I just hate feeling this way, I thought I knew the Black dog, but unfortunately I had only met his puppy.

 

Thanks again. It helps to feel someone is willing to listen, understand and care 

[[ME...]]

Doctors never experience the hell we have gone through and continue to endure.

 

I am dreaming to put my daughter to a medical school and then specialize in Psychiatry, I have so much to share to her.  Doctors make their diagnosis, conclusions and prescriptions based on research, statistics, literature and from information from their patients.  They never experience it.  They do not know how crazy are benzodiazepines, how delicate drugs they are.  Only those who took it and became captive to it knows how deep it affects the patient.  They never experience the horrible consequences of the first tablet that a patient take.

 

We have to work it out ourselves, discover how our body and brain reacts to rate of reduction.  Maybe some people can do it fast without problem, some may experience horrible withdrawal even with small reduction.  You have to feel it, adjust it, don't despair with failures, start again.  Fail again, start again and again.  It needs time to heal.  It needs time to discover.

 

MEexpat

 

 

[[Ba...]]

Thank you for your words expat.

 

I am feeling a bit confused at present. I sought out a councillor who had years of experience with drug and alcohol, and she questioned why I was even on a taper as my C/T was after a 6 week daily period. She said the brain heals really quickly after a short period. I so want off this taper that It makes me want to speed up. Cut a 5 today and keep going til I have none. But all my research and all of your experiences tells me that is unwise, harmful, and dangerous. But I keep hearing it from professionals and I so want this over with.

 

I have already had windows in my taper which makes me wonder whether I could go faster, but the waves hit so hard and no amount of mindfulness, meditation and other tools Ii have seem to make a dent in them.

 

I had given up smoking during the taper but had a relapse and I really want to get off them again. I have the patches and some nicotine replacement spray and wanted to do that tomorrow, not be scared of making another cut.

 

It takes so much patience tapering. And I find it so confusing to get conflicting advice. (Especially at $165 a session).

 

I don't know what to do now...... 

[[Ba...]]

Decided to go the give up smoking today and keep pausing when stable. I know Ashton doesn't recommend giving up in a taper. But it's important to me to quit the cigs.

 

In Australia cigs are over $20 a pack and are going up continuously so the gov can cash in on the taxes of an addictive substance.

 

I have had to extend my maternity leave (in reality give up my position) due to childrens illness's falling on my return to work date - eldest was sick for 4 months! I think this is why I became extra anxious this year which lead to me making some really bad choices. I'm trying so hard to fix it and get back on track.