Took Klonopin....feel like a failure.

[[br...]]

So sick of feeling this way.  Like I'm not really here...in my body...in my house...anywhere!    So I freaked out...my whole body felt like it had pins in it...my chest was burning and i was completely detached from everything.  Then I took some.  I'm almost at 90 days.  Guess I thought it would be easier than this.  SIGH 

[Guest [Or...]]

You wouldnt be the first to take a rescue dose! lol. Enjoy the break from benzo withdrawal and get back in the game! You can beat this! just hang in there.

[[br...]]

I might as well keep my sense of humor about this.  Time to hit the mall! 

Thanks for making me feel better!

[[br...]]

Hope i don't feel worse tomorrow.  Does anyone know what happens? 

[Guest [Or...]]

Hope i don't feel worse tomorrow.  Does anyone know what happens? 

 

You shouldnt feel worse tomorrow. Klonopin has a long half life. Lol. Give it four days.

[[br...]]

Four days? 

[Guest [Or...]]

Yeah, thats how long it stays in your system for after one dose. Well, active. I dunno. But, yeah. From my last K pill I felt good until after 4 days then started puking my brains out.

[[be...]]

I don't think that one dose will cause any real havoc on your withdrawal. However, I would not reach for anymore. My guess is that you would never want to live the last 90 days all over again. I took a huge positive corner at three months out....suddenly my symptoms became almost manageable and everyday I would get a little better and better. Good days are around the corner for you.

[[NC...]]

Dang I wish it would go away in 4 days... Its been almost 3 weeks, my Doctor stopped me cold turkey then prescribes Trileptal. I found one article saying it was good for rapid detox.  Yesterday still having shakes, trembling, heart never stops racing, you know all those symptoms. Trileptal did nothing,  then prescribes Librium, 1 capsule before bedtime. I am used to taking 10mg of Klonopin a day. The Doctor refuses to fill my script , doesn't call me back, even told me I can find a new Doctor. This is all after 7 years. Do not like the medical community here in the states at all. Make an appointment, too weak too drive so my brother drives me to the appointment. I get there early if I am even 5 minutes late he says you have to reschedule. Soo many times Did I wait on him for over 20 minutes before I get to speak to him, Anyways he makes the appointment short. I am not restarting you on Klonopin. Then says the withdrawl symptoms will go away in a week. Bunch of BS. He saw I was angry and going through the shakes and says you don't have to checkout. Last night my heart was racing fast really fast got scared, He once did it a while back he stopped me too quickly and I had a seizure, just because I mentioned I was more sociable and drinking just some shots or a beer. Yesterday I get scared the same thing was happening, sure enough this time I did not have a shaking seizure but the entire left side of my body just locked up, luckily my brother was there, Still locked up at the hospital, thank goodness it was close by. They took me in right away and a nurse was there told me she was giving me 2mg of Ativan. Then after about 5 minutes I started to loosen up.

Some people think i am exaggerating my symptoms.  No Friends this is real withdrawl. I wish it on nobody, sorry to sound negative. The Doctor at the Hospital gave me 20 1 mg Klonopins to last me through the weekend, he says we do not have a phycatrist here. Not even offer some literature in case of a mental crisis. The Klonopin is helping so much better than the Librium. Even the Doctor says you have been on Benzos for five years abd the last two at 10 mg a day, Doctor says that is not the proper way to come off of benzos, He said I need a tapering method. I called my doctor this and she just skips it and says I will prescribe the Librium for you, that is all I am doing. The Librium did not realy help at all even though it has a very long half life. Librium from my research is a weak benzo and takes time to build up in your body.

Week 3 still suffering, But it makes it a bunch more easier to be on this site with others who know what your going through.

 

[Guest [ma...]]

Dang I wish it would go away in 4 days... Its been almost 3 weeks, my Doctor stopped me cold turkey then prescribes Trileptal. I found one article saying it was good for rapid detox.  Yesterday still having shakes, trembling, heart never stops racing, you know all those symptoms. Trileptal did nothing,  then prescribes Librium, 1 capsule before bedtime. I am used to taking 10mg of Klonopin a day. The Doctor refuses to fill my script , doesn't call me back, even told me I can find a new Doctor. This is all after 7 years. Do not like the medical community here in the states at all. Make an appointment, too weak too drive so my brother drives me to the appointment. I get there early if I am even 5 minutes late he says you have to reschedule. Soo many times Did I wait on him for over 20 minutes before I get to speak to him, Anyways he makes the appointment short. I am not restarting you on Klonopin. Then says the withdrawl symptoms will go away in a week. Bunch of BS. He saw I was angry and going through the shakes and says you don't have to checkout. Last night my heart was racing fast really fast got scared, He once did it a while back he stopped me too quickly and I had a seizure, just because I mentioned I was more sociable and drinking just some shots or a beer. Yesterday I get scared the same thing was happening, sure enough this time I did not have a shaking seizure but the entire left side of my body just locked up, luckily my brother was there, Still locked up at the hospital, thank goodness it was close by. They took me in right away and a nurse was there told me she was giving me 2mg of Ativan. Then after about 5 minutes I started to loosen up.

Some people think i am exaggerating my symptoms.  No Friends this is real withdrawl. I wish it on nobody, sorry to sound negative. The Doctor at the Hospital gave me 20 1 mg Klonopins to last me through the weekend, he says we do not have a phycatrist here. Not even offer some literature in case of a mental crisis. The Klonopin is helping so much better than the Librium. Even the Doctor says you have been on Benzos for five years abd the last two at 10 mg a day, Doctor says that is not the proper way to come off of benzos, He said I need a tapering method. I called my doctor this and she just skips it and says I will prescribe the Librium for you, that is all I am doing. The Librium did not realy help at all even though it has a very long half life. Librium from my research is a weak benzo and takes time to build up in your body.

Week 3 still suffering, But it makes it a bunch more easier to be on this site with others who know what your going through.

 

 

NCMAN,

 

What happened to you is inhumane but sadly it's not uncommon. You were on a Valium equivalent dose of 200mg when you were taking 10 mg of K each day. That's a huge dose as I am sure you are aware. I don't think you are exaggerating your symptoms at all but I do understand why some of the medical professionals you have seen believe you are.

 

According to your signature you have also been polydrugged. This is also common for those who have been on benzos and other psych drugs as well. Please be very careful about taking other benzos intermittently. This could lead to kindling. I hope you are able to find a dr who will support you through this recovery process and who will monitor you until you you see some improvement in your physical symptoms.

 

Have you checked to see if there are any benzo wise drs in NC? Maybe there is a dr close to where you live.

 

Here is one list that is online. http://www.benzodocs.com/

 

There is one in NC. Might be worth contacting?

 

North Carolina

 

    Dr. Allen Melvin M.D., P.A.

 

        Belle Grove Office Park

        3111 Springbank Lane, Suite G

        Charlotte, NC 28226

        Phone: 704-644-7885

        Web Site: http://allenmelvinmd.com/

 

 

Take good care, mandala

[[NC...]]

Thanks for your reply Mandala

 

I will use that link right away. I looked everywhere within 25 miles of my area. I am in the Fayetteville area. Earliest is Nov 24th.

It is inhumane after 7 years of being with the same doctor he refuses to call me back, I just don't understand why he just stopped me all of a sudden, I keep leaving voicemails and asking what did I do wrong, The cocktails of medecines were working better than the other cocktails he had me on before.  These withdrawals are painful. Some phycatrists I have called to try to make an appointment and they say quickly "we do not prescribe any narcotics here"  As everyone knows going cold turkey can cause seizures, Some have told me to talk to lawyers. I wrote a few just to see what the response would be. Most of them did not even know what a benzo was and the rest sorry we cannot assist you in your case.

This really is awful going through this.

[Guest [Lu...]]

It's just a one time thing, don't beat yourself up about it. But it can be a slippery slope. Maybe trash your pills or give them to someone you can trust?

[[br...]]

I sort of feel better knowing the pills are here.  I don't want to go to the ER.  That's why i have them i guess.  Once in almost 3 months isn't too bad i guess but im still disappointed in myself.  Today is a new day!!

[Guest [he...]]

Hi Brooke, I really don't think one here and there is a big deal....but just curious hoe did it make you feel?,  lol.

[Guest [ma...]]

Thanks for your reply Mandala

 

I will use that link right away. I looked everywhere within 25 miles of my area. I am in the Fayetteville area. Earliest is Nov 24th.

It is inhumane after 7 years of being with the same doctor he refuses to call me back, I just don't understand why he just stopped me all of a sudden, I keep leaving voicemails and asking what did I do wrong, The cocktails of medecines were working better than the other cocktails he had me on before.  These withdrawals are painful. Some phycatrists I have called to try to make an appointment and they say quickly "we do not prescribe any narcotics here"  As everyone knows going cold turkey can cause seizures, Some have told me to talk to lawyers. I wrote a few just to see what the response would be. Most of them did not even know what a benzo was and the rest sorry we cannot assist you in your case.

This really is awful going through this.

 

You are welcome. Hope you find someone who will help you. Yes it is awful but with the right guidance you will find your way out and you will heal.

[Guest [ma...]]

Brooke,

 

I'd like to share what happened to me after I was encouraged to take one "small dose" of benzos about 9 weeks post a c/t from Klonopin and then was told by my dr to take it for 5 weeks until I went c/t again. It's important that people realize that we do not control what happens when we take a benzo. Benzos control us. As far as I am concerned it's like playing Russian Roulette. You truly have NO idea how taking one dose is going to affect you. 

 

Jan 24th  - Feb 21st 2012 - I had made arrangements mid January to begin volunteering at the library in preparation for my return to work. The day I began at the library I did not know that I was going through severe benzo w/d from the Klonopin c/t. I was given a simple task to perform and at first I did not understand the instructions. I did not recognize the alphabet and started to think that I was brain damaged. I forced myself to stay at the library for the two hours I had committed to. During those two hours I kept thinking, that I used to be in charge of a lab and now I don't understand the alphabet. How will I ever be able to return to work?

 

I phoned my mother as soon as I came home from the library and told her what happened. I told her that something was VERY wrong and that I had no idea what was going on. I begged her to call my sister and ask her to take the train to come and stay with me. I was so terrified and had no idea what was happening to me or what was causing the symptoms. My mother asked me if I had any Klonopin, and she asked me to try some. I refused and told her that I did not want to take it again. After a couple of hours talking to her on the phone I said I would take 0.25mg.

 

Two to three hours after taking the Klonopin I was jolted/shocked like I was being touched with a cattle prod. I had tachycardia, sweating and chills. I was in a state of terror and crying despondently. This lasted non stop for 21 hours. I just kept thinking it was w/d and if I waited long enough it would settle down.

 

My sister came to stay with me. I went back to the dr. I told him I read about Ashton online and he prescribed Valium to me. I took 7 mg of Valium and became worse. I was not sleeping and could barely eat. I would wake my sister up very early in the morning because I was afraid to be in the house by myself. My vision began to be affected. It felt like there was a veil in front of my eyes. I felt disconnected from my surroundings and felt like I was outside of myself while in the presence of my sister. I could not watch TV because many of the shows would scare me. I could not hear certain words because they would terrify me. I could not drive because I felt like I was outside of my body while in the car. During this time I forced myself to go to the library two days a week for two hours. My sister had to drive me and stay at the library to keep me company b/c I was too terrified. I thought I had lost my mind and I was sure that everyone who worked at the library could tell.

 

The rest of the day I was only able to lie on the couch and rock back and forth.

 

 

I stayed on the Valium for 5 weeks and kept getting worse. I have taken no drugs or supplements since Feb 26 2012 and I had my first window on day 735. Then I had 4 months of symptoms that were like acute. I had a fantastic job in lab medicine and have not worked in almost 3 years.

 

I hope this does not happen to you. Take good care, mandala

[[br...]]

helpmom...I felt good enough to go shopping. I felt great.    Now it's back to reality....

Mandala...thank you.  I'm sorry you went through that.  Thank you for the advice.  I'll remember what you said.

 

[Guest [ma...]]

Mandala...thank you.  I'm sorry you went through that.  Thank you for the advice.  I'll remember what you said.

 

Hi Brooke, thanks but no reason to be sorry for what I have been through. It got me to where I am today which is light years ahead of where I was for the past 15 years.

 

Stay strong and dig deep. I know you can get through this. Take good care, mandala

[[br...]]

I'm struggling today.  Feel like i have the flu.  Makes this process even more difficult. 

[Guest [to...]]

Brooke,

 

I agree with the poster who said 4 days - it coincides with my own klonopin experience. Basically, if anything happens, it would come to a head around day 4. People who are very sick in withdrawal have pointed out, that it doesn't necessarily end at day 4....but if nothing happened by day 4, you can pretty safely assume that nothing will.

 

That all said, don't try to monitor yourself too much - you'll just imagine Symptoms.  Most likely, this one time dose is not going to affect you physically.  Just lije it takes our brains months or years to normalize when we taper off, it also tajes time to throw off your neural balance. Perhaps not as long as recovery, but one dose is not going to reset everything.

 

Just don't get in the habit.

[[Sn...]]

So sick of feeling this way.  Like I'm not really here...in my body...in my house...anywhere!    So I freaked out...my whole body felt like it had pins in it...my chest was burning and i was completely detached from everything.  Then I took some.  I'm almost at 90 days.  Guess I thought it would be easier than this.  SIGH 

 

Did it work? Did you feel like you where back in your body and house cause if you did then even some bit then you will know it's defo benzo withdrawal and nothing else ?

 

I read a story before about someone who could not accept it was benzo withdrawal at 1 year out so they took 10mg of Daz and within an hour they felt normal so they knew them it was withdrawal and stopped again and went on to heal at 26 months or 16 months after the rescue dose

 

Big chance to take but for them they had to know in order to accept it was withdrawal and nothing else as medically they where sound

 

They said the relief that one day was amazing after a year of hell but also said even though they went straight back to the same hell again they new it was withdrawal so it made it easier to accept the process so it will be interesting to see your update ??

 

 

[[br...]]

No,  it did not get rid of the dp/dr.  I have had that feeling on and off since college. Way before benzos.  It did get rid of the anxiety though.  And I felt good enough to go shopping for 3 hours. 

Monday will be 90 days for me.  I'll admit, I thought I would feel better than this.  But my goal has always been xmas so....    And...I just started Lexapro 3 weeks ago.  I'm slowly working my way up to 20 mgs.  It worked wonders 12 years ago so hopefully it will work again this time.  Got rid of the dp/dr completely.  I actually felt normal.  Can't wait to feel that way again. 

[[Sn...]]

No,  it did not get rid of the dp/dr.  I have had that feeling on and off since college. Way before benzos.  It did get rid of the anxiety though.  And I felt good enough to go shopping for 3 hours. 

Monday will be 90 days for me.  I'll admit, I thought I would feel better than this.  But my goal has always been xmas so....    And...I just started Lexapro 3 weeks ago.  I'm slowly working my way up to 20 mgs.  It worked wonders 12 years ago so hopefully it will work again this time.  Got rid of the dp/dr completely.  I actually felt normal.  Can't wait to feel that way again.

 

Any sides with the Lexapro now your in benzo withdrawal ?

 

I heard Imipramine is better than Lexapro for DPDR ? Also heard Lamotrigine is good but for people with anxiety induced DPDR but not sure about benzo DPDR

 

I'm scared of all brain altering drugs after what benzos done to us

[Guest [Lu...]]

No,  it did not get rid of the dp/dr.  I have had that feeling on and off since college. Way before benzos.  It did get rid of the anxiety though.  And I felt good enough to go shopping for 3 hours. 

Monday will be 90 days for me.  I'll admit, I thought I would feel better than this.  But my goal has always been xmas so....    And...I just started Lexapro 3 weeks ago.  I'm slowly working my way up to 20 mgs.  It worked wonders 12 years ago so hopefully it will work again this time.  Got rid of the dp/dr completely.  I actually felt normal.  Can't wait to feel that way again.

 

Any sides with the Lexapro now your in benzo withdrawal ?

 

I heard Imipramine is better than Lexapro for DPDR ? Also heard Lamotrigine is good but for people with anxiety induced DPDR but not sure about benzo DPDR

 

I'm scared of all brain altering drugs after what benzos done to us

 

I'm surprised more people haven't tried Lamictal...but I understand why they haven't. A lot of people seemed to benefit from Lamictal in terms of DP/DR and anxiety. Some even had permanent improvements after discontinuing the med.

[[br...]]

I understand why you would be nervous about taking another drug.  I get it.  I just know from experience that i need to be on something.  Funny you mention Imipramine.  That was the first med they gave me.  I took 400 mgs and it worked great.  The second time i took it i needed 600 mgs and then it never worked again.  Don't ask me why i quit meds when i feel better. I'm an idiot. 

Lexapro never gives me any side effects.  But I'm going slow just in case.  I tried Lamictal years ago but i don't think it helped me.