WHY IS IT GETTING WORSE at 10 months C/T?

[[13...]]

I don't want to discourage those beneath me in time length, but why? Why is it getting worse? The depersonalization and d/r have only intensified? My dissociation is so out of this world I can't even describe it with words. The constant non-stop death thoughts. I'm so perplexed at 10 months out...almost a year?!

Can anyone relate? It is so bad that when I do have a "window" my body continues to shake because I'm so gone the rest of the time. I dare call them windows because my body is still reeling with anxiety. Just so upsetting at 10 months   

I feel I will never experience reality and feeling "whole" again. My circumstances were so critical when I did the C/T that life pressures are basically unbearable. Help!

[[WT...]]

I am right there with you I used 3 weeks of K for sleep

I am in month 12 and since month 11 started everything gotten worse

right now I am writing this on 2 hours sleep I can not sleep

 

11 months and later still sxs like crazy only 3 weeks of use at .5 mg  :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

 

I know fore sure that I will never heal I am F%^$ed for life I know it

 

:( :( :( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[[13...]]

Wtfk7

I'm so sorry to hear that, I really am. I remember those sleepless nights -my god, do I!

I understand that Benzos alter receptor sites. 3 weeks of use might have been enough to damage yours. I took Ativan for 8 flippin years not ever thinking I was doing a single thing to my brain. The thought never even crossed my mind.

I feel for every single person on this forum (including you) that is going through this "healing." Only us fellow suffers have a clue to what we each are experiencing.

Do you ever have windows? Even for a few minutes? I thank God for the few I've had because it is the ONLY hope (most of the time) that I can objectively give myself that there is an end to this nightmare.

Please hang in there. I want to share something I used to help me sleep. I was soooooo careful with every thing because I didn't want to exasperated symptoms, etc. For instance, I would take Valerian root or Melatonin nor would I still. However, may I recommend a tea from teavana called Tranquil Dream. I know you're thinking "yeah right!" It really helped me and had a calming effect. I highly recommend it.

 

[[13...]]

** I didn't take or wont take Valerian root or Melatonin** -correction.

[[Ha...]]

I'm ten months out and have been having dpda and all the sudden heart palps w anxiety! I thought by now I would be done or almost done!! Sucks

 

Happy

[[ea...]]

It is very possible to feel worse at 10 months, even later than that. Not unusual at all, sorry to say. I have read many posts from people who went through the same experience.

Our healing is not linear. It doesn't always just gradually get better and better. That is why people say they have waves - periods of time when symptoms get worse, or new ones show up. I went through this, too. I never had windows, but I sure had waves!

But - always remember that even during these bad periods, you are healing, as long as you aren't taking a benzo, drinking a lot of alcohol, or using other drugs. Your body is always trying to normalize, and you can be feeling simply awful and the healing process is going on.

Chin up - you're doing fine, believe it or not.

east

[[je...]]

Iam 13 months out and I had the worst wave of my entire w/d at 10 months out, it felt like I was back in acute and lasted 3 weeks. Hang in there month 10 has been rough for a lot of us-- it gets better. I'm sooo much better than I was in month 10, you will get there too. Jenny

[[WT...]]

I am getting worse I should call me WOOFS #2

[[13...]]

Thank you Jenny!

So kind of you to reply!

I have no choice other than to hang out. What else am I going to do?

I think all of us just one day where we felt completely normally so that we could have the reassurance to press on. I don't have windows...it has just been so long that I don't what normal feels like.