OCD (Pure O)

[[Ra...]]

So anyone else have SEVERE OCD? I thought my ocd was bad before I was on benzos but the withdrawal has just wow... The little rituals I have to do like readjusting my monitor or keyboard it's just silly. Anyone have any success tackling benzo w/d enhanced or produced OCD?

[[No...]]

I can relate very well..... It's been tough.

So sorry you're experiencing this.

Hang in there,  it does get better. Mine is so much better now.

Notforme

[[Co...]]

I'm not sure if this is a subcategory of OCD but ever since I hit half my dose I cannot stop thinking and worrying about benzo withdrawal. It's crippling. It's probably my worst symptom. All I do is think think obsess over analyze and dread. It's so powerful that it consumes every ounce of my living. I dream about benzo withdrawal, I wake up in the morning thinking about benzo withdrawal. It's completely taken over my ability to enjoy anything in life. When people are talking to me, I can't focus because I'm thinking about benzo withdrawal. I did a 2 hour yoga class today, every second was consumed by thoughts regarding benzo withdrawal.

 

Dunno if I had ocd before all this. I know I had a knack to worry about things on my mind, but nothing that ever consumed more than 20 minutes of my brain power. The first half of my taper benzos were on my mind 10% of the time. Now it's more like 99%. I really need to resolve this issue because it is really really messing me up. The lower I go the worse it gets.

[[Ra...]]

Sounds like pure obsessional OCD, exactly what I have. I can relate to the worrying about benzo w/d constantly. It's ridiculous... Does it ever end...

[Guest [Lu...]]

It's horrible, dude. For me, it's contamination OCD. Everything is a threat to me. I'm scared something's going to ruin my recovery. Can I eat this? Should I be here? Will this harm me? It's enough to make me want to....I don't know. It's maddening. 

[[Ra...]]

Gotta do some ERP luigi. I hear the more you feed the OCD demon compulsions the bigger it gets. My advice would be to PURPOSEFULLY contaminate something then eat it. Go on youtube and watch all of Mark Freeman's videos. He is INCREDIBLY wise about OCD having defeated it himself. I'll give you some examples of the compulsions I have that have led into fear of more and more things. These are weird and it might not make sense that they are "compulsions" but by doing them I trained my brain to put a cage around me and to protect me. Then the brain starts firing off intrusive thoughts about ways you can harm yourself be it through germs a knife a balcony etc. You gotta mentally UNDO the crap you taught your brain. Right where was I. The compulsions. Putting my hands in my pockets and adjusting the zips to get a "just right" feeling. Picking my nose making sure it has to be perfectly clean (lol). You see a pattern here? The perfection that the doing brain loves? Adjusting my monitor so that it is perfectly symmetrical same with my tv. The trick is to expose yourself to a situation where you do the compulsion and not do the ritual. You gotta do it a bit at a time though. I would say it's helping!

[Guest [Lu...]]

Gotta do some ERP luigi. I hear the more you feed the OCD demon compulsions the bigger it gets. My advice would be to PURPOSEFULLY contaminate something then eat it. Go on youtube and watch all of Mark Freeman's videos. He is INCREDIBLY wise about OCD having defeated it himself. I'll give you some examples of the compulsions I have that have led into fear of more and more things. These are weird and it might not make sense that they are "compulsions" but by doing them I trained my brain to put a cage around me and to protect me. Then the brain starts firing off intrusive thoughts about ways you can harm yourself be it through germs a knife a balcony etc. You gotta mentally UNDO the crap you taught your brain. Right where was I. The compulsions. Putting my hands in my pockets and adjusting the zips to get a "just right" feeling. Picking my nose making sure it has to be perfectly clean (lol). You see a pattern here? The perfection that the doing brain loves? Adjusting my monitor so that it is perfectly symmetrical same with my tv. The trick is to expose yourself to a situation where you do the compulsion and not do the ritual. You gotta do it a bit at a time though. I would say it's helping!

 

So I should just say F it YOLO and eat MSG? I've been thinking about it. I'm tired of being scared of food.

[[Ra...]]

Yes, you have my blessing. Don't over do it though. Don't eat nothing but MSG filled garbage. You have to be vigilant but not paranoid. I ate a chocolate bar yesterday and I was perfectly fine. I also had KFC a few weeks back and was perfectly fine. I would say face your fears. If you continue to be afraid of food you're setting up a cage for your brain that will keep finding dangers to protect you from.

[Guest [Lu...]]

You're right, man. I just gotta do it. I can't keep living on potatoes and lettuce forever. It's getting ridiculous.

[[ea...]]

I went through this, the fear of certain foods. I couldn't eat vegetables for a long time. This only came up in withdrawal, and I know it was a withdrawal symptom. It gradually went away. I now eat whatever I please. I also got obsessive about keeping a clean house, and got carried away with it in the first few months (not germaphobic....DIRTaphobic!) and this, too has died down to quite normal and tame. Early on, I gave in to these obsessions...I couldn't resist, and all that cleaning was a big distraction. Now, when I get a brush of it (which still happens occasionally) I recognize it for what it is and laugh at it. Oh, the craziness of benzo withdrawal - it is never ending.

east

[[Ra...]]

I think a lot of the OCD we develop is because of the severe AGITATION that we experience with such damaged receptors. Our anxiety levels are so high that the compulsions are too strong to resist. I have some compulsions to scratch and re adjust my bed covers that I CANNOT deal with right now. lol. We need our good old GABA receptors back to normal.

[[Co...]]

Gotta do some ERP luigi. I hear the more you feed the OCD demon compulsions the bigger it gets. My advice would be to PURPOSEFULLY contaminate something then eat it. Go on youtube and watch all of Mark Freeman's videos. He is INCREDIBLY wise about OCD having defeated it himself. I'll give you some examples of the compulsions I have that have led into fear of more and more things. These are weird and it might not make sense that they are "compulsions" but by doing them I trained my brain to put a cage around me and to protect me. Then the brain starts firing off intrusive thoughts about ways you can harm yourself be it through germs a knife a balcony etc. You gotta mentally UNDO the crap you taught your brain. Right where was I. The compulsions. Putting my hands in my pockets and adjusting the zips to get a "just right" feeling. Picking my nose making sure it has to be perfectly clean (lol). You see a pattern here? The perfection that the doing brain loves? Adjusting my monitor so that it is perfectly symmetrical same with my tv. The trick is to expose yourself to a situation where you do the compulsion and not do the ritual. You gotta do it a bit at a time though. I would say it's helping!

 

Is there any way that this would work for Pure O. Is it possible for me to stop worrying about benzo withdrawal or is it a chemical thing and i have no choice.

[[Ra...]]

You probably do have compulsions I think that pure o is just a label. A misguided and inaccurate label at that. You might want to see a professional who is skilled in therapy for OCD. You do indeed have a choice. Google "mindfulness"