Feeling good this evening then bam!!

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Hey guys, I know I wrote a similar post a few months ago, but tonight I started feeling pretty good stress started lowering and then my breathing problems and focus started to drift away I was actually laughing at tv tonight!! Well I playing with my dog and stared off at him and felt a bit weird but got up thinking it must be withdrawal went into bathroom then this heat wave went over me and a wave of panic and fear ran over top of me like beginning of a panic attack!! I stopped it dead in its tracks but feel so worn down by this and thinking why in the world was I starting to feel good then get hit with panic!?! Why doesn't panic hit when I'm worried or upset why does it wait until I start feeling better!?!?

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i've been getting the same way all throughout my recovery process. when i'm feeling better i never can even relate to feeling bad again, and then it's like bam there is is.

 

i guess this healing process does come in waves and windows for a lot of us. i would say the "bam" is very deep and intense healing that sure doesn't feel good when it's happening. i'm in a wham right now myself and have no idea how it happened since it had lifted about 5 days ago.

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Thanks pretty Sakarya, it was just out of nowhere I don't seem to have the panics in waves it's always right when I start feeling good and then it sends me back into a a bad wave where I am once again always on edge!! This morning the cortisol rushes are back and leaving me in bed, they had been gone until last nights episode flared up my amenity, I was actually starting to watch tv and enjoy it! I wonder did those panic attacks or brain attacks that last only like 1 minute is some form of healing or like my brain is reverting back to they way it was before benzos!?!?