My family doesn't understand what I'm going through

[Guest [jc...]]

They just don't get it at all.....my sister says stuff like "oh yeah, I know how you feel, I used to feel that way and then I did such and such and I got over it"......Well she doesn't know how I feel at all, she has never been on benzos and gone thru the hell of withdrawal.  There is just no way that anyone who hasn't gone through this could understand how bad it is.  Sometimes I get the feeling they think I'm just not trying hard enough or I'm being weak.  I have been fighting this battle for over a year and I'm so tired and wary sometimes I just feel like I can't go on. I want sob and I can't even cry.

[[sa...]]

I know exactly how you feel. I always get the you need to be more positive. Your life isn't ruined it's just changing. Bullshit. It's ruined.

[Guest [jc...]]

Right, Satch....they give me the pep talks about all the wonderful things I have to look forward to and all I can see is that I am a complete mess and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  I keep hanging on to what people say that it's going to get better but today I just don't see it.

[[sa...]]

Back at you. I've lost things that are never coming back. Whàt do I really have to look forward too. Just want to give up.

[[pr...]]

i still can't cry either and i too just want to do a full body hard core crying session for hours, i really do and i can't wait until that day comes and if anyone tells me to stop crying, i will beat them to a pulp!

 

my brother doesn't understand anything i am going through and i really can't forgive him for that. i have to live with him right now and he's an opiate addict and a hard core cigarette junkie and goes in and out of our front door millions times daily to have his smoke and in totally interferes with any rest and relaxation i need all the time. i always have to hear that f'cking front door opening and closing and it's maddening. i can't take it anymore. i've told him a million times that i hear it ever when it's not happening and it's making me insane. i don't know what to do about this problem?

 

oh well, maybe they will understand after they read my story/book.

[[it...]]

JC your right she just doesn't get it,and knowbody ever will unless they have walked through this process in our shoes. Its not just something we can snap out of,its a serious WD and its all about us and our recovery know body else. I learned not to even talk to people about it specifically because it will only set you up for disappointment that know one understands or believes and they cannot see it,we look mostly okay to someone. So don't worry about your sis,or anyone and what they think just trudge along and focus on you and whatever you want to do to get through this. Associate and be around whoever when you can and enjoy life and don't try to isolate,but I wouldn't bring this up specifically to relate to someone or talk about because it just upsets us and makes us feel worse usually and they don't understand. And your ten times the warrior most people will ever be going thru this when you get you back.

[[Ga...]]

my hubby has my bliss. book right here in living room. he has never bothered reading it. no one cares. attitude here is get over it. its very hurtful.

i cant explain it to anyone

its not like a valid disease.

ive never felt so awful in my life

[Guest [jc...]]

Thanks guys.  Gardenia, I'm so sorry.  My family is a little more sympathetic than that, but they still don't understand, especially when I look fine and am in good physical health.  It is so much worse than many "acceptable" illnesses or conditions, but since it is not a recognized problem it is dismissed.  Very frustrating.

[[Wo...]]

my hubby has my bliss. book right here in living room. he has never bothered reading it. no one cares. attitude here is get over it. its very hurtful.

i cant explain it to anyone

its not like a valid disease.

ive never felt so awful in my life

 

Same as that Gar

 

I was only saying earlier on another thread how the first year off I printed as much information in simple text as I could and no one bar my father ever came back and said anything, he just said I still don't believe it and when I was a year off he said why are you not better yet and I said it don't work that way and he said that info you gave me said most people feel better by a year off and you was only on a short time so you should have been better after a few weeks!!!

 

Now they won't ever hear the word benzo or withdrawal but they live in a different country so it don't matter to me anymore !!!!!

 

 

NO ONE GETS IT OR WANTS TO GET IT !!!!

[Guest [jc...]]

I periodically send them youtube videos of people withdrawing or excerpts of peoples experiences in withdrawal and I always get "wow, that sounds bad, but your case isn't that severe".  Hello?

[[it...]]

Pretty I don't think its healthy you live with your brother addicted to opiates as you were on them 25 years and off and on. I don't think its a healthy environment for a person who recovered from the same thing let alone benzos and having to deal with all that stress of the other person and in general. But if its an only option I guess your stuck. So sorry to hear. I'm an ex addict myself and I know for true change I could t be around that. I'm sorry to hear that maybe you can get him into rehab or help him off. Hope your doing good and not using opiates with him.

[[dr...]]

I tried printing short articles for anyone who mattered in my life.  No one really read it.    They all care but don't really want to hear it.  It's been the same story for over 3 years for me.  No one can comprehend what we are going through...would you be able to?  It is so out of left field and the Dr.s don't help us out by being the deniers it even exists.  It is very important we use this site and not our close freinds/family for support.  it will burn them out.  It is just frustrating we feel like we are never truly heard or what we have is as bad as we are saying.

[[pr...]]

Pretty I don't think its healthy you live with your brother addicted to opiates as you were on them 25 years and off and on. I don't think its a healthy environment for a person who recovered from the same thing let alone benzos and having to deal with all that stress of the other person and in general. But if its an only option I guess your stuck. So sorry to hear. I'm an ex addict myself and I know for true change I could t be around that. I'm sorry to hear that maybe you can get him into rehab or help him off. Hope your doing good and not using opiates with him.

 

no it's not healthy and yes i am stuck for now. it's most likely the reason i am so angered by him. he's sitting here popping opiates because he truly thinks he has all this pain but i know what being on long term opiates can do. they shut down the opiate receptors and all the endorphins that help us to be relieved of pain naturally and so of course he's going to be in pain since he's been using Norco for over 16 years. he's probably in interdose withdrawal and if he doesn't have his fix in 2-4 hours than of course he's going to be in pain.

 

it just really annoys me that he doesn't care or give a shit about anything i have been through. he thinks that we all don't care about his suffering he is going through so he doesn't bother to understand anyone else's. i tell my parents all the time, "how would you feel if you were off all drugs and meds going through a horrible and brutal withdrawal process and your sibiling is popping opiates, going in and out of the front door because he needs his cigarette fix every 45 minutes and downing sugar all the time?"

 

i can't believe my parents can't see this addiction and dysfunction. they are true enablers. all i can do is try my best to get well and leave here as soon as i can -- but the slow rate i am healing, i'm not sure when that will be? i'm holding on for dear life every single day. and no, of course i would never pop opiates with my brother. i just got off the suboxone which took me over 2 years to taper from.

[[Lo...]]

They just don't get it at all.....my sister says stuff like "oh yeah, I know how you feel, I used to feel that way and then I did such and such and I got over it"......Well she doesn't know how I feel at all, she has never been on benzos and gone thru the hell of withdrawal.  There is just no way that anyone who hasn't gone through this could understand how bad it is.  Sometimes I get the feeling they think I'm just not trying hard enough or I'm being weak.  I have been fighting this battle for over a year and I'm so tired and wary sometimes I just feel like I can't go on. I want sob and I can't even cry.

 

I feel your pain...my uncle told me to get a part time job...WTF! I'm barely holding onto the full time!  :'(

[Guest [jc...]]

I don't know, I think I was in a terrible frame of mind when I started this thread a few days ago, call it a bad wave.  Yes it's true my family doesn't understand, how could they?  But they have been good to me, they have helped me financially since I'm in a mess now and I know they want the best for me.  I am grateful to them for a lot of things.