'Can't get out of bed' Days

[[im...]]

Today's one of them for me. What a disaster. If this keeps up, I will be kicked out from my studies which cost me thousands of debt. Nobody actually knows about benzos, and anxiety and depression so I can't have a 'mental problem' excuse, it's always lies. Not doctors, not tutors, not even friends, they don't even suspect. Hell, my friends simply think I'm this quiet, mysterious, cold/shy towards strangers, lazy, never paying attention, clumsy, always sleepy person, when the truth is I'm constantly on valium which alters my behavior to a significant extent. My family only has a basic idea of what everything is really like.

I will find tens of excuses why I can't leave my bed, 'it's too late' 'won't get there on time' 'I have nothing to wear' 'it's too cold' - I will keep repeating these lines to anyone who tries to get me out of bed, even though deep down I KNOW they're illogical and don't make sense, and that they're untrue. My family will yell at me, and I still won't move because all I feel is I CAN'T, I will actually humiliate myself and cry over everything, because those bouts of morning attacks of panic or whatever they are make me over emotional for no reason. My body will even cooperate with this facade, making me feel like I'm actually physically ill. But miraculously, as soon as I make up my mind, I'm all better. I even get those days when I take benzos before going to sleep.

 

Do you experience can't get out of bed days, too? Please share your experiences and tips how to deal with them.

[[an...]]

Hello Imacat,

What do you mean "as soon as I make up my mind I'm all better"? I'm sorry you have to lie, I've been there! Still pushing myself to do what I could was good for my eventual recovery...

peace,

stasia

[[im...]]

What I meant was that I will often debate inside my head - should I try to get up or not etc. and as soon as I decide against it, I immediately feel a lot better. Sorry to hear that you've experiences something similar.

[[Ro...]]

It's easier to just procrastinate. Much harder to get out of bed and start doing something, even harder to keep going.