Starting a long journey...for good.

[[jo...]]

Hello everyone!!

The start of this horror story started in Barcelona (Spain).

 

After having a very nice time, having an amazing girlfriend, feelings of freedom, a bunch of good friends, my professional career going very well, even I started my own Startup, with quite a good success....and suddenly everything fall down:

 

My girlfriend broke with me and went to live in Australia, money troubles, and the worst thing, related to my personal situation, I developed a severe insomnia, suddenly, abruptly.

 

After being 7 days without sleeping, I went to a psiquiatrist, who gave me querosel (an anti-psicotic)....It was working kind of ok during 7 or 8 months, but suddenly it was not working at all.

 

I changed to a neurologist, who made me a polysomnography....and the result was that my circadian rythms were ok, but I had a lot of micro-arausals (anxiet peaks) during my sleep . He gave me 1mg of lorazepam and 2 mg of lormetazepam (drug that it's ilegal in a lot of countries...pure poison)....But i didn't know anything about benzos, and I was so ****** up due my strong insomnia, so I simply followed the treatment.

 

WHAT A MISTAKE.

 

Lormetazepam is a very strong benzo with a short acting effect. I take 2mg for going to sleep, who helps me to sleep (not  allways)....wich provoques me a quite strong withdrawal during the day.

I can kind of manage my life because i'm a mentally strong person, but lastly i feel i'm loosing my life, because the rebound anxiety that I have during all the day.

 

I moved to Berlin, Germany. I think a change is allways positive...and I love Berlin (I really apreciatte the artistic vibes and the singularity of the people there).

 

I moved to Germany because I kind of trust more in the german health system than the spanish (second country in the world with more benzos prescriptions per year).

 

And I decide that I have enough. Enough ruining my life with this poison.

I went to St Joseph Weisensse psqichiatric Hospital,  and the 8th of october I have a meeting with a doctor for evaluate my case and see if I need to enter there for a month, or do a slow tapper o watever....I still don't know.

 

But i'm ready to suffer. I don't want to follow being a fulltime anxious and asocial person...this kills your spirit and your body slowly.

 

I'm doing meditation and electrocraneal stimulation, as a compement treatment, by my own...and helps a little bit.

 

 

Sorry for this long letter, but I feel nobody in my personal circle understand-me, even my family, and I need a little bit of support.

 

And finally, anybody from Berlin here?? What do u think about St Joseph Weisensee hospital??

Any alternatives, good recomendations??

 

 

Lots of love for everyone, I'm really glad that forum exists.

 

Big hug buddys!!!

 

 

  Joan

 

 

[[ma...]]

Hi Joan Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

Sorry to hear you have had such an awful time, the relationship break up must have been very hard.  It will get better with time, how long have you been taking benzos?  A slow taper is best  imo it can help minimize withdrawal effects.  It is generally recommended to taper no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  This is a guideline and it is ok to adjust this schedule for your comfort.

 

Have you read the Ashton Manual , it is an excellent resource for information about these medications and gives a lot of information about withdrawal. Here is a link to the manual: Ashton Manual

 

We have a great community here of knowledgeable and friendly people who understand this process.  They will be willing to share their experience with you.  Feel free to ask questions. So that members can respond

 

Here are some helpful links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

 

Withdrawal Support

 

General Taper Plans

 

Insomnia Board

 

Please Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

 

 

[[jo...]]

Yes!!

 

I read the Ashton manual...I'll print a copy and bring it to my new doctor here in Berlin.

Thanks a lot for your warm words.

The 8th I have the first visit on the clinic, so I'l let you know what says me the doctor.

 

I have been taking the lormetazepam for 1 year and a half. Basically because my insomnia.

Before taking benzos I never had anxiety in my whole life....

 

What do you think about Lormetazepam?? It will be harder to quit than alprazolam for example?

Why my neurologist in Spain gave me such a bad solution?? I was very open minded to do psycho-therapy, yoga, swimming...but he just gave me this shit.

 

One big love!

 

 

Joan

[[Mo...]]

Hi Joan,

What a stupid situation but not hopeless. Trust the German Health system in regards

to Benzos ? Sorry, but i have to disappoint you , they are centuries behind the UK.

However i think its time to be smart now and get as much knowledge as you can.

Magrita has given you a link to the Ashton manual ,

here is an explaination how this poison affects our brain.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

some videos to start you off.

http://cepuk.org/recovery-stories/

 

i would take a slow walk through the Forum, success stories, chewing the fat,

Benzos in the news section.

 

There is enough time to become Benzo-wise till the 8th of October,

will give you the opportunity to check how much knowledge the German Doc has, right ?

 

Good to have you with us

and all the best

Claudia (not far away from you )

 

 

 

 

 

[[jo...]]

Very interesting reads Claudia!

 

You had bad experiences with the german health system? Why uk is better?

But I can say for sure, spanish health system in this regards are a very bad health system. I have the impression that spanish neurologists and psiquiatrist are slaves of the Pharmaceutycal companies, I went to another neurologist for a second opinion and she said me: Ok, if benzos work for you and you are sleeping, why quit?? and probably you will be an insomniac for the rest of your life.

BRAVO!! it's hard to trust in the doctors after having this experiences...

I'm 29 years old by the way, and I'm feeling mentally strong enough for start the battle, even if it takes me years.

 

Thanks a lot for the repplies, feeling the warm and good vibes from you allready.

 

P.D: let's see what solutions have the german doctors....in fact Germany is well known for his psiquiatrists, psicologists big names in the history (Jung, etc...).

 

Spain it's famous for the food and for the political corruption..LOL

[[Mo...]]

Hi again joan,

I was talking about the health system in regards to Benzos,

you know history is history, presence is presence and Benzos are Benzos.

I am quite curious if that Doc will tell you they can detox you off at the Hospital.

Bad idea, this happened to me and i went down on my knees after i got home.

 

so please take this serious, what ever he tells you, a sensible taper plan according to

Prof. Ashton is the right way to get off.

Since Lormetazepam has such a short half life (10-12) , Ashton suggests a switch over

to Diazepam (Valium), might be a good idead to discuss it with your Doc.

 

here is a sucess story which just came in.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=117646.msg1542523#msg1542523

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[jo...]]

Hello everyone!!

 

Fi nally, I was kind of desesperated, and I came back to Spain, and joined a detox clinic in the countryside. The experience have been hard...no valium substitution, 0,5 mg of tappering per week....but I have been strong and now I'm on 0'25 mg of lormetazepam.

I have a strong anxiety when I wake up...it's kind of hard to wake up with this feeling. A very strong depression appeared as well, a very uncomfortable feeling, somthing similar like when someone broke with you...this pain in the stomach.

 

I'm gonna ask for a second opinion on a psichiatrist, maybe there's no need to suffer that much.

But it's not super-terrible, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Big hugs to everyone!!

[[Mo...]]

thanks for the update , getting off Benzos is no peace of cake,

but you will make it.

 

Found this thread about anxiety for you,

hope it helps.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=33198.0

[[Ki...]]

Way to go!

[[jo...]]

My doctor is giving me Levomepromazine which is an anti-psicotic with sedative propiertys...it really helps with the insomnia, at least I have this problem covered.

The anxiety is not that bad today.

I'm taking a srri as well for regulate the serotoni during the day.

 

I can see the end of this soon!

[[jo...]]

Well...

 

I'm having a mixed feeling of tiredness with mild anxiety, the worst thing is the depression associated to it. I know that is the chemistry that is messing up my gabba, serotonin and all that stuff...but being in a not good at all personal and emotional moment doesn't help at all.

Christmas makes me feel so sad as well. I'm with my mom now, she is very depressed from a lost since 1 year ago, and seeing her in such a bad moment is making me worse. It's like a loop.

I'm trying to distract, but i'm so tired and mentally weak, that is almost impossible to enjoy things that I used to enjoy. At least it's a satisfaction to being able to write here,in english (I bet to being able to write in another language that isn't your first language means that my brain is not that fucked up).

Now I'm at 0'25 mg of Noctamid (lormetazepam), and plan to jump next week, because i'll be in the countryside, and i think it's the best place for do the jump to 0.

 

Thanks a lot in advance for your support, and best wishes

 

Joan

[[jo...]]

Hey Buddies!

 

I'm really struggling at 0,25mg...having very bad days, not sleeping good (insomnia it's the cause of my prescription to lormetazepam).

I feel a lot of pain in the bones, i can do nothing, just watch tv, and some internet when I have the energy. Depression is dark and deep, but I know this is caused of withdrawal.

 

feeling hopeless...

 

Merry christmas to all the fighters!

[[Mo...]]

Hey Buddies!

 

I'm really struggling at 0,25mg...having very bad days, not sleeping good (insomnia it's the cause of my prescription to lormetazepam).

I feel a lot of pain in the bones, i can do nothing, just watch tv, and some internet when I have the energy. Depression is dark and deep, but I know this is caused of withdrawal.

 

feeling hopeless...

 

Merry christmas to all the fighters!

 

Please don't feel hopless joanet, its all temporary. i have been through it,

sending you some energy , its ever so hard i know.

 

Merry Christmas to you too, you are a fighter, you will make it.

[[jo...]]

NOW I'm stuck at 0,25, and 0 sleeping. I had to take some rescue doses. I don't know what I have to do.

I have an appointment with my psych, with a recomendation from an ER that i visited lastly to take Lyrica (let's see if with lyrica at least I can sleep)

It looks like i'm resistent to the sinogan....maybe seroquel or zyprexa helps me, but i don't know....I need some extra help for finish my tapper.

(The benzos were given to me due a chronic insomnia)

 

 

Cheers!!!

 

Anyone sleeping well with lyrica?