my mind won't shut up...

[[Lo...]]

so i keep thinking about either past present of future conversations with people. i feel like I'm obsessing about how i didn't say that right or i didn't do that right. or what an idiot i was for acting or saying that. this is all the time!!! anyone else. i get to the point I'm so hard on myself about the person i am. its like i feel like I'm the most awkward stupid person in the world and tell myself I'm the only one without a clue how to survive in this world. these thoughts will not stop. i still dont like to look in the mirror a lot. I'm so damn hard on myself. is this withdrawal>? will it go away. this is intense and embarrassing. its like i compare myself to everyone!!! i need to stop but its hard.

[Guest [...]]

Where'd you learn to talk to yourself like this? I was hard on myself too and it came from a critical family. Also ADD or my personality if you don't believe that stuff. Must have driven my family crazy who in turn drove me crazy.

 

I would talk sweet to myself and take action toward what you want. Sitting and spinning does no good but you have a lot of drive since you are thinking this hard that you can use for improving your life.

 

And comparison does no good. I tell myself and others that there's no comparison. Each has unique gifts.

[[Lo...]]

i did have a critical family and was diagnosed being add along with borderline personality disorder. whether i am or not i just don't know. when i was diagnosed with these things it was when i was getting off pills again about 4 or 5 years ago. i guess i just need therapy. i don't know. I'm not always like this but i feel like i was less like this on benzos. i feel like my mind is so negative. i need to work on it. its just layer after layer of issues. i didn't think i had so many damn issuers. i i used to be happy to be me. I'm just broken. just have felt off for so long. tired.

[[Li...]]

Sure, I often feel like a freak in public. And, I too have had a tendency to allow these kinds of self-degrading thoughts to seep into my mind. It helped me to combat the negative with positive 'verbiage.' Simple, mindful meditation helped me immensely this past year. A process (if you're unfamiliar) that allows you to make space for yourself and enable the good (and bad) thoughts to just pass on through - to view them more objectively for what they are, just thoughts (albeit sometimes destructive in nature). I think the whacked-out thoughts are a part of this WD process, they will pass. Take it easy on yourself, look for the good and write it down if you have to.

 

MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction)

[Guest [...]]

The negativity in you makes you more tired. Whatever you value: yourself, your spirit...etc. think positively on it...take action on it, and it will give you energy or at least won't sap you of it. My advice and this helps me.

[[Te...]]

This happens to me also. It's much worse in w/d. I could be relaxing, and all of a sudden something from the past pops up that I'd forgotten about, something I regret doing, and haunts me. These thoughts really wear me down. Once I realize I'm dwelling on things I regret doing in the past, lately I've been telling myself to not siphon out my energy but to keep it intact by focusing. But since my focus is so scattered now, as I have lost a lot of motivation throughout w/d to do things I used to enjoy doing, my mind instead plays the same cards over and over again. One particularly awful thought suddenly popped up that I had forgotten about for decades. For weeks I was obsessed with picturing it in my mind again and again. It's only lately that it's finally been put away again.

[[Lo...]]

Sure, I often feel like a freak in public. And, I too have had a tendency to allow these kinds of self-degrading thoughts to seep into my mind. It helped me to combat the negative with positive 'verbiage.' Simple, mindful meditation helped me immensely this past year. A process (if you're unfamiliar) that allows you to make space for yourself and enable the good (and bad) thoughts to just pass on through - to view them more objectively for what they are, just thoughts (albeit sometimes destructive in nature). I think the whacked-out thoughts are a part of this WD process, they will pass. Take it easy on yourself, look for the good and write it down if you have to.

 

MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction)

 

this is going to be a long process. this is just one aspect of what i think. everything is intense...i have to start meditating again. i tried to when i was first off these pills in january. i also tried to give myself reiki. it just wasn't working in the since i just couldnt relax. i have never been that kind of person to be so harsh on myself and has always been accepting of other. just need to be that way for myself. i don't know. i guess i just need to calm down. this is not the person i thought i was or want to be. just need to build myself back up and get over myself. these thoughts are so damn intense. its weird.  thanks for your input. really appreciate it. you hang in there too. just want to feel normal.

[[Lo...]]

This happens to me also. It's much worse in w/d. I could be relaxing, and all of a sudden something from the past pops up that I'd forgotten about, something I regret doing, and haunts me. These thoughts really wear me down. Once I realize I'm dwelling on things I regret doing in the past, lately I've been telling myself to not siphon out my energy but to keep it intact by focusing. But since my focus is so scattered now, as I have lost a lot of motivation throughout w/d to do things I used to enjoy doing, my mind instead plays the same cards over and over again. One particularly awful thought suddenly popped up that I had forgotten about for decades. For weeks I was obsessed with picturing it in my mind again and again. It's only lately that it's finally been put away again.

 

i feel ya. its so weird. i will let myself get so down with these thoughts and then it makes it more impossible to go out in public. this experience is so draining and weird. the paranoia is a bitch too! i really need to work on thinking about something else. i feel like I'm obsessing about myself. so in my head. i don't like this side of me at all.

[[Te...]]

What was said about meditation is really helpful. Lately I've been meditating when I wake up in the mornings, just following my breathing and when I start thinking of something else, go right back to focusing on my breath. This technique may not work for some people because thinking about the breath can bring on anxiety, but it's really helped me to learn to focus more. And focusing on something else besides harsh criticism of myself is good any day of the week!

 

When I'm having a window, all those awful thoughts are gone or don't affect me, so I think they're magnified in w/d.

[[Ra...]]

You are not your thoughts, trying to stop these thoughts will only make them come on stronger and more frequently. I recommend instead that you just allow the thoughts to come in and try to reduce your anxiety response to them. I have these thoughts too and trying to fight them only made it worse. You could also look at eliminating stimulants in your diet and perhaps getting some glutathione supplements or some inositol capsules.

[[St...]]

This happens to me also. It's much worse in w/d. I could be relaxing, and all of a sudden something from the past pops up that I'd forgotten about, something I regret doing, and haunts me. These thoughts really wear me down. Once I realize I'm dwelling on things I regret doing in the past, lately I've been telling myself to not siphon out my energy but to keep it intact by focusing. But since my focus is so scattered now, as I have lost a lot of motivation throughout w/d to do things I used to enjoy doing, my mind instead plays the same cards over and over again. One particularly awful thought suddenly popped up that I had forgotten about for decades. For weeks I was obsessed with picturing it in my mind again and again. It's only lately that it's finally been put away again.

 

i feel ya. its so weird. i will let myself get so down with these thoughts and then it makes it more impossible to go out in public. this experience is so draining and weird. the paranoia is a bitch too! i really need to work on thinking about something else. i feel like I'm obsessing about myself. so in my head. i don't like this side of me at all.

 

I felt this way much of the first 12 months since my c/t.  When it came on, I could not change it - just had to wait it out.  After 12 months it's getting much better.  I'm sure much of it is w/d for you.  Accept it, do what you can, but don't try to do too much.  That's what worked for me.

[[Lo...]]

@ terry38 and rarthyr500....man you guys thank you for letting me know about some of your thoughts through this. I'm sorry you guys have these thoughts but at the same time I'm so glad i can relate. this process has made me feel crazy and not even sure if its withdrawals sometimes...i just think I'm crazy or something. knowing its withdrawal make my life a little easier and one day we will balance out. i want to give everyone a hug.

[[Lo...]]

This happens to me also. It's much worse in w/d. I could be relaxing, and all of a sudden something from the past pops up that I'd forgotten about, something I regret doing, and haunts me. These thoughts really wear me down. Once I realize I'm dwelling on things I regret doing in the past, lately I've been telling myself to not siphon out my energy but to keep it intact by focusing. But since my focus is so scattered now, as I have lost a lot of motivation throughout w/d to do things I used to enjoy doing, my mind instead plays the same cards over and over again. One particularly awful thought suddenly popped up that I had forgotten about for decades. For weeks I was obsessed with picturing it in my mind again and again. It's only lately that it's finally been put away again.

 

i feel ya. its so weird. i will let myself get so down with these thoughts and then it makes it more impossible to go out in public. this experience is so draining and weird. the paranoia is a bitch too! i really need to work on thinking about something else. i feel like I'm obsessing about myself. so in my head. i don't like this side of me at all.

 

I felt this way much of the first 12 months since my c/t.  When it came on, I could not change it - just had to wait it out.  After 12 months it's getting much better.  I'm sure much of it is w/d for you.  Accept it, do what you can, but don't try to do too much.  That's what worked for me.

 

thank you for responding. these thoughts have been making me crazy. it is so good to know its just withdrawal. its just hard to tell sometimes when its there everyday.  not saying i don't need to work on myself but it is so intense.....everyone that has replied has made me calm down a bit. i just need to keep doing what I'm doing plus some positive things to incorporate in my life. ready for this to be over.