I need serious help

[[Pi...]]

Ive never been this sad in my life. I keep crying, i see no sense in doing anything, no pleasure whatsoever in any aspect of life, so lonely, and in need of someone..

 

This doesnt seem to get better at all, and all i wanted was a normal life; nothing more. I cant see people bc i get so self-conscious i cant even have a good time or express myself/get rid of the solitude. I really dont know what to do anymore, ive never suffered as much as im suffering now in my entire life. I lost hope..

 

I dont see how to escape from this and the more i keep getting into this deep tunnel the worst i feel.. I just want to make this pain stop. I used to be such a healthy guy, i used to have so many things, now all i have is sadness. Im even taking anti depressants in high doses, but that didnt change anything.. Im not depressed; just cant take benzo wd anymore. Im thinking of drastic ways to put an end on this like taking the fucking klonopin again.

 

No one deserves this torture, its better to die than to go through this.

 

And i have no support in real life whatsoever. This is what gets me the most.. No one believes me and im seen as this crazy 22 year old who doesnt want to grow up/doesnt want to fight. And as i see my friends graduating, getting jobs, girls, trips, as time passes by and i see it going right through me, i realize im losing the most precious part of it - my youth. Im young - i have a car - and i stay at home 24/7. What kind of person would do that?

 

I just dont know what to do anymore.. Nothing eqses this pain, and as days pass, it becomes more and more unbearable.. I dont know what to do..

[Guest [jc...]]

I have a son your age, my heart goes out to you.  Do you have any kind of support system?  It sounds like you don't.  Do you think you could seek some professional help, a therapist or counselor?

 

jc

[[Ga...]]

at your young age you have to look on the up side. youre young and you WILL get better.

 

its probably a plus you were on only 11 mo

 

i agree, talking to a therapist might be good for you.

 

good luck pity klonopin

[[Pi...]]

i have a therapist...

 

and to make things worst my fkn ex (who cheated on me) texts me saying she wants to be friends and that she wants to talk abt the new guy shes in love with -

 

so i just explode and tell her i never loved her and only used her to get through benzo wd and that i never really liked her, and that i was only attached to her bc i was lonely and in need of anyone. i also told her i chose her bc she didnt belong in my social circle, and that i did it bc i didnt want anyone to know about my benzo wd, and that shell always be the lying slut that i fkd after the first date i had with her.

 

im still pissed so i dont know if i was too harsh, if she deserved it, or what to think.. and this benzo wd just makes everything so worst..

 

what do u guys think?

[[lo...]]

Hi PK

 

It may be a good sign that you are letting your anger out. Whether your ex deserved all that, I have no idea.

 

An outburst of emotion is a good sign. I can't even cry!!!

 

I hope this may be a turning point for you.

 

I had my worst day on Saturday with pain but I am hoping it is a sign of turning a corner.

 

I hope we will both see a positive change very soon.

 

Just remember the worst is behind us. It will get better.

 

Hugs

 

LF  :smitten

 

 

[[Pi...]]

LF, here you come again in the worst times and make me smile. Thank you so much for your comment, im so happy to have met you. You made me stop feeling bad for what i said, and for not worrying so much abt this failed relationship and just worrying abt getting better from this wd..

 

Putting the anger out did make me feel a lot better.

 

Thanks again lf so much!

 

(Im thinking of going back smoking and eating junk food to help me cope with the depr/anxiety btw)..

[[lo...]]

Hi PK

 

So glad to help, my friend.

 

Smoking and junk food?  >    here is my response to that idea.

 

http://youtu.be/96B_Q6K7GUY

 

Hugs

 

LF

[[lo...]]

Hi PK

 

Hope you are going to take my advice!!!

 

Seriously though we can't do everything at once.

 

If smoking helps you, I don't see anything wrong with using it as a crutch right now.

 

Try to vary your diet. Some junk food is ok but mix it with healthy stuff.

 

Does smoking curb your desire to eat? If it does it might stop you gaining more weight.  That would be a good thing.

 

My weight fluctuated a lot from being dangerously thin to being quite fat in my 20s.  All because of depression.

 

Anorexia and compulsive eating. When the depression lifts it all goes away.

 

Depression is the pits. Expressing your anger is good. 

 

Hugs to you, my friend

 

LF 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[he...]]

LF,  LOL that was a good one!!! Pity K, Stay as busy as possible with ANYTHING to get your mind off of thinking, move your body and do something...the spiral you are in will lift and go upwards. Be easy on yourself. Yes you do have your youth, a lot of us don't which is sad. Hang on and look for little signs of healing taking place in your body........My best, Jude

[[pr...]]

PK,

 

i'm worried about the antidepressants you're taking. sometimes they can cause more depression or sometimes they can cause the brain to do weird things during benzo witrhdrawal. which ones are you taking and what is the dose if you don't mind me asking? i just get worried about all medications during withdrawal. the brain is so fragile during this time.

 

pretty

[Guest [Lu...]]

LF, here you come again in the worst times and make me smile. Thank you so much for your comment, im so happy to have met you. You made me stop feeling bad for what i said, and for not worrying so much abt this failed relationship and just worrying abt getting better from this wd..

 

Putting the anger out did make me feel a lot better.

 

Thanks again lf so much!

 

(Im thinking of going back smoking and eating junk food to help me cope with the depr/anxiety btw)..

 

I don't know about junk food as a lot of it has MSG but your body may still be craving nicotine after all this time. Why not try a cigarette and see if it helps?

[[ea...]]

Pity, you made me laugh when I read about your thinking of smoking and eating junk food to get through this. I had just had a cigarette and was eating ice cream......takes one to know one!

I hope you're feeling better now. You can get through this.

east

[[Te...]]

PK, why in the world is your ex even texting you, saying she wants to tell you about her new boyfriend??  I hope you'll ignore her. She deserves to be ignored.

 

I understand about your depression. I'm having a lot of it now, haven't been out for days and don't even want to go out. But there's no one here to help take out the garbage, get the groceries and run errands and do other things, so I sit here procrastinating about going out. Never was like this before. It's like agoraphobia and extreme disconnection mixed together.

 

Have you tried eating lots of protein, vegetables, and fruits? I think they help to take away cravings. I also worry about the AD you're taking.

 

Just keep going, PK!! We all want you to succeed in this!! 

[[lo...]]

Hi folks

 

Just to say I take 225 mg effexor each day and have no problems with it. Have taken it for 14 years approx. Had bad reactions to many other ADs.

 

LF

[[pr...]]

Hi folks

 

Just to say I take 225 mg effexor each day and have no problems with it. Have taken it for 14 years approx. Had bad reactions to many other ADs.

 

LF

 

that good news LF!

[[ea...]]

Pity, how are you doing today? Please let us know...we do care.

east

[[Pi...]]

Hey guys thanks for all the msgs

 

Thanks for caring east, i always feel happier when i visit this forum

 

Im taking 70 mg fluoxetine daily, and my doc says he wants to add this buspar or something. But he says theres a risk for serotonin syndrome in the combination of these two meds so i have to make a choice whether to take that extra med or not. He says if it works, itll help a lot woth my wd. If it doesnt, than ill have serotonin syndrome which idk very much about.. Idk what to do

[[lo...]]

Hi PK

 

It is always difficult to know what to do for the best.  Looked up serotonin syndrome and it seem to be adverse effects due to the interaction of the two drugs. It is a risk you would have to take. I expect it would happen fairly quickly so you could stop taking it if that happened. The more drugs you take, the more you have to withdraw from. I guess only you can decide this one.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

[[ea...]]

Yes, do look up this, because it is a risk. Serotonin Syndrome is very serious, very. You have to weigh the risks with the possible benefits. Not an easy call. I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do.

I used to just take whatever my doctor told me to take. I will not ever do that again. Ever. I decided to be the captain of my own ship, so to speak, and try to be informed before I swallow any old pill. Its made more difficult because there is so much bad information on the Internet - too many scare stories. I stick to places I trust, like Wikpedia and some others.

Let us know what you decide and how it goes.

east

[Guest [Lu...]]

Eek you don't want to mess with serotonin syndrome, PK. Forget what I said about trying the BuSpar if your still on an AD. It's a very serious thing!

[[Pi...]]

How serious is it? Does it cause permanent brain damage? Or anything permanent at all?

[[au...]]

How serious is it? Does it cause permanent brain damage? Or anything permanent at all?

 

No sweetie it doesnt and there is no medical evidence to support that it does.  My Dr specialises in this stuff and reassures me of this.

 

We all get better just a different pace.  I still have a hand full of nagging symptoms but overall am doing far better than I was.

 

You will get better 

[[be...]]

Pk, I feel the same way. I'm 11 months out, and losing hope. What scares me the most is that most sxs have subsided, but cognition, motivation, emotions aren't back. Just feel like a shell killing time to fall asleep. I hope life comes back at some point, but don't know how to wait for the elusive recovery anymore? I think the hope should be 14-15 months now. Although I doubt there's a specific timeframe ....

[[it...]]

Agreed. Personally I don't think the buspar us good nor taking anti depressants as there a psychotropic just like benzos that will just mask your true colors drug you up and dull you down. They can cause very long withdrawals and syndromes just like benzos and similar to benzos,same drug group classification. But throwing multiple drugs into the mix in a serious benzo WD I don't think is a good thing for our healing brains and body. I think it's like touching a hot stove,just be careful buddy I'd hate for you to go through a second hell,after feeling better.

[[Te...]]

I agree with itsmylife. Other drugs in the mix are really unpredictable.