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Update/ don't know what to do

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Update: still in hospital.  Still weeks away from knowing if this antidepressant will work.  Taking 1 mg of Ativan every 3rd day. 

 

It seems like every 3rd day I need an Ativan or else I get suicial thoughts again.  I don't know if I should keep taking it while I'm waiting for the antidepressant to kick in? Or just stop taking it right now? 

 

 

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Metheral, that is a very hard question to answer, and Im not even going to try. Only you know how serious your suicidal thoughts have been, and whether you think you can deal with getting off the Ativan at a later time. Im so sorry you're in this situation, it cant be easy for you after all you went through before.

 

I guess, if it were me, and my suicidal thoughts were VERY real and bad, and the Ativan helped, I would continue to take it but make it clear I do not want a dose increase at any time. Then again, I know I personally would NEVER want to go through withdrawal again. Id LIKE to say I would just say no to it, but that wouldn't be totally honest.

 

I hope you start feeling better soon, Meth.

east

:hug:

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Metheral, that is a very hard question to answer, and Im not even going to try. Only you know how serious your suicidal thoughts have been, and whether you think you can deal with getting off the Ativan at a later time. Im so sorry you're in this situation, it cant be easy for you after all you went through before.

 

I guess, if it were me, and my suicidal thoughts were VERY real and bad, and the Ativan helped, I would continue to take it but make it clear I do not want a dose increase at any time. Then again, I know I personally would NEVER want to go through withdrawal again. Id LIKE to say I would just say no to it, but that wouldn't be totally honest.

 

I hope you start feeling better soon, Meth.

east

:hug:

 

Thxs for ur honest opinion.  Yes it's hard.  I don't want to go through withdrawal again.  Oh God please don't make me do that again.  But I feel so stuck.  I also don't want to kill myself.  It's just so hard and I'm so tired of fighting.

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Meth, I really understand because Ive often felt the same way myself. At just over two years, I am much, much better but those remaining symptoms drive me crazy. I get frustrated because I know there is nothing I can do about it. I still use distraction, every waking minute. I wish there was something I could say that would ease your worries, but I think that has to come from inside you. I hope you are working with a decent therapist...? That can make a difference, I know. How long will you be there?

east

:)

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Update: still in hospital.  Still weeks away from knowing if this antidepressant will work.  Taking 1 mg of Ativan every 3rd day. 

 

It seems like every 3rd day I need an Ativan or else I get suicial thoughts again.  I don't know if I should keep taking it while I'm waiting for the antidepressant to kick in? Or just stop taking it right now?

 

I would feel uncomfortable to give any advice. At this point I would listen to your doctor. It sounds like the Ativan is very needed. Suicidal thoughts are very serious. I think you are in the right place right now. Thanks for the update.

 

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I'm sry to hear ur struggles. I had over a yr clear when all this happened.  I think it's obvious to me now I wasn't just suffering from withdrawal.  I am definitely have major depressive disorder. 

 

I will be here a minimum of 4 weeks a max of 3 months.  They have to monitor the antidepressant and check if it's working.  It takes weeks to work. 

 

I'm just thinking if I wait till the meds start working and THEN come stop the Ativan then maybe it'll be easier?  I dono...

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What are the doctors saying?

 

First order of business is to keep yourself safe. If you can't do that it doesn't really matter what you are taking or not. As strongly as I feel about benzos you have to do what you have to do to survive.

 

Wishing you the best of luck!

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Might be easier, IF the new antidepressants help. Sorry to hear you'll be in so long, but if that's what it takes, so be it. I am glad youre in a safe place, Meth. It sounds like you know yourself, and know you need help right now.

 

Is it a nice place? Is the staff okay?

east

:)

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Thx guys.  It's a safe place.  I feel safe.  My doctor said it's okay to take them once in awhile.  Like I am doing.  Just until the antidepressant kicks in.
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No nothing else right now. 

 

It just sucks after 2 days of taking the Ativan I get the suicidal thoughts again and my depersonalization get way worse and I just want it to stop. 

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Wel, benzos don't remove negative thoughts, Meth. They just kind of numb us, as you know. And they CAN worsen DP and DR. Is it helping you in any way?

east

 

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I'm glad you're safe Meth. If you are able to keep it to a minimal amount of ativan spaced out over days or weeks there's a chance the w/d could be minimal. Maybe it will be different for you this time without seroquel in the mix. I will keep you in my thoughts  :smitten:
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Wel, benzos don't remove negative thoughts, Meth. They just kind of numb us, as you know. And they CAN worsen DP and DR. Is it helping you in any way?

east

 

Yeah they help a lot

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I'm glad you're safe Meth. If you are able to keep it to a minimal amount of ativan spaced out over days or weeks there's a chance the w/d could be minimal. Maybe it will be different for you this time without seroquel in the mix. I will keep you in my thoughts  :smitten:

 

Inadaze :smitten:  I'm trying.  1mg of Ativan every 3 days

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Glad you are safe, Meth. 

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

:smitten:

 

Thank you :). I seriously didn't think I would make it this time.  I've had mental illness emergencys in the past but this one was the worst.

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Hi Meth,

 

I guess you have to consider the idea of having inter-dose withdrawal symptoms, if youre only taking it every 3 days. But - if it is helping, and you say it is, it may be worth keeping on taking it for now.

Hope your day is going smoothly.

east

:)

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Are you taking any exercise? Studies have shown that exercise works just as well as anti depressants...you could reap the benefits of both.

 

And I just read a study that showed 5 servings of fruit and veg are good for mental well being, not just physical. How is your fruit and veg intake?

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