Help with crushed feeling

[[aw...]]

I have this awful feeling like my soul is literally being spent, or has been spent, during w/d.  Like I don't have the strength to recover from the trauma of the experience.  I literally feel it around my heart, like my soul is barely even there - I feel like repeated anxieties have just carved it out.

 

Has anyone had this?  Or better yet, recovered from it?  This is horrifying to me, feels like I'm being hollowed out.  I don't know if it's just nerves, a temporary high anxiety symptom, PTSD, or if I'm just stuck with this.

[[Se...]]

I have a similar feeling.  If my symptoms suddenly stopped, its like then there would still be an overwhelming trauma to overcome because of the memory of the whole experience and there is no energy for that.  This takes so much of who we are/were, I also feel like my soul has been crushed or seriously broken down.  Sometimes I get the feeling like my soul is so tired its had enough of this human body its stuck in.

 

But I try and believe that what is being broken or burned away by this ordeal isn't my soul, but rather  a false self and what will remain will be be a more authentic version of who I really am and then my soul might feel more comfortable.

 

 

[[Ri...]]

I have this awful feeling like my soul is literally being spent, or has been spent, during w/d.  Like I don't have the strength to recover from the trauma of the experience.  I literally feel it around my heart, like my soul is barely even there - I feel like repeated anxieties have just carved it out.

 

Has anyone had this?  Or better yet, recovered from it?  This is horrifying to me, feels like I'm being hollowed out.  I don't know if it's just nerves, a temporary high anxiety symptom, PTSD, or if I'm just stuck with this.

 

I recovered from this. And you will too.

 

There are some threads devoted to this subject - Benzo Related Loneliness, and in the faith section, the early part of Benzos and God.

 

There is another thread that I cannot think of right now, but I have written about this extensively.

 

I think what is happening is that we are temporarily blocked from feeling our soul and the other higher self aspects of our being. We are isolated from our connection to our spirit - and we feel the feelings of despair, isolation, deep sadness and loneliness as a result.

 

The good news is that this condition is an effect of withdrawal and it is temporary - you WILL return to your normal self. 

 

 

River   

[[aw...]]

I agree with what you're both saying.  But I'm saying it feels like my nerves have literally been pushed DOWNWARDS by nerve LTP (long-term potentiation).  Like, normally my soul would comfortable be some electrical signals traveling within area A <--> B, but then it went "GRRK", breaking past B, and going to C., because the stress magnification from withdrawal got so extreme. 

 

I learned a lot about acceptance during withdrawal though, with regard to that stuff.  Accepting withdrawal itself, but really everything, trying to see higher orders of things above the way of seeing things that used to cause me stress.  Not much of a choice during w/d is there!