Don't recognize myself anymore.

[[Be...]]

I feel like I've gone from being a handsome young man to someone I don't recognize anymore since going through W/D. I hardly ever "dare" look in the mirror anymore. Even the times I have I don't even know who I'm looking at, so I just figure its just easier to not look at all. I look so completely rundown and very sad and that alone is very depressing. Once a body builder with a TRUE love for the gym has slowly faded away. For I no longer ever have any energy anymore. Yes I still have muscle but this process has taken a lot of it away. I swear going through this eats at muscle. The stress all this puts on the body and mind is unreal.  I look exactly how I feel exhausted, and completely rundown. The length of this whole process is outrageous. I'm really losing my mind and patience. 

#IguessItIsWhatItIs

[[tr...]]

Your not alone I have been unwell for 18 months and had taken a toll on me . Somedays I struggle just to have a shower and get dressed . I do beleive though the depression causes the fatigue not the withdrawal . If I'm at home I have no energy and just plod all day , yet I go to gym on a Monday and can manage a workout as soon as back home fatigue . I haven't had my hair down in 18 months just can't be bothered to sort it . I'm just not me anymore either . It's not nice .

Tragaz

[[dr...]]

I am in terrible shape for me. Not obese but not in the shape I want.  I need to lose about 20 pounds and I can't get on a workout regimen.  Every time I do a few days my body goes haywire with pains.  Joints ache and muscles hurt like I jogged a new marathon each workout.  It sucks.  I am just trying to maintain but it is depressing.  I am turning 46 and feel gross.

[[Be...]]

Your not alone I have been unwell for 18 months and had taken a toll on me . Somedays I struggle just to have a shower and get dressed . I do beleive though the depression causes the fatigue not the withdrawal . If I'm at home I have no energy and just plod all day , yet I go to gym on a Monday and can manage a workout as soon as back home fatigue . I haven't had my hair down in 18 months just can't be bothered to sort it . I'm just not me anymore either . It's not nice .

Tragaz

I feel your pain!!

[[Be...]]

I am in terrible shape for me. Not obese but not in the shape I want.  I need to lose about 20 pounds and I can't get on a workout regimen.  Every time I do a few days my body goes haywire with pains.  Joints ache and muscles hurt like I jogged a new marathon each workout.  It sucks.  I am just trying to maintain but it is depressing.  I am turning 46 and feel gross.

For me Drew my problem is a hardly ever have an appetite. So I force myself to eat so I don't lose anymore weight/muscle.

[[th...]]

Right there with ya. I was a freaking beauty queen for God's Sake who was the gym 6 days a week, out with friends all the time and always always looked amazing! Now I am a purple robe wearin isolated slob! My body has morphed into a poisoned saggy mess! I have to force myself to eat too bc 1. I have no appetite and 2. when I do I get the gi syx, yet not eating won't help either!

#juststuckinthiscrap

 

Grinch

[[IG...]]

Going through this is a very humbling experience for sure, but the rewards at the end are amazing.  You will be yourselves again with a even better outlook on life.  Everything you've lost will come back to you.  Your brain and body are healing as you taper and go through this withdrawal, your going to have a good happy life again even though you can't see it now.

 

Molly

[[je...]]

I was just saying this to myself the other day. My face looks weird , puffy and swollen, circles under my eyes. I get disgusted looking at myself in the mirror and I too was once a cute girl. I worked at the top clubs in Vegas as a bartender and was hit on all the time. Now I look gross. I wonder if this will ever reverse?? What do you guys think?

[[dr...]]

Going through this is a very humbling experience for sure, but the rewards at the end are amazing.  You will be yourselves again with a even better outlook on life.  Everything you've lost will come back to you.  Your brain and body are healing as you taper and go through this withdrawal, your going to have a good happy life again even though you can't see it now.

 

Molly

 

Thanks Molly!

 

 

Jenny et al....I feel like a puffy marshmellow

[[Ca...]]

I'm there w/ ya. My friends say I look the same just a little more gypsy than before but I think they are just being kind. I am too tired to work out... I went through most of my w/d eating everything in plain site to totally losing my appetite & eating a few crackers a day. I don't care for my hair or skin like I used to or do mystic tan. I feel like the walking homeless version of myself. The first 4 months of my w/d I kept myself up & still wore high heels... Now I live in dresses- but not the cute kind. I hope I find my way back to myself after this. Even when I felt 75% a few months ago I still didn't feel motivated to look better... I want that motivation back.

[[pa...]]

That's one of the more discouraging aspects I've had during my taper.  I used to take such pride in the way I looked, I was beautiful.  Now, I spend all day wearing glasses, hair up in a messy bun, skin broken out, no makeup, sweats & a baggy shirt.  Am far from active.  I'm losing so much muscle tone & getting flabby.  I don't like to look at myself in the mirror either, definitely avoid them.

 

If you would've showed me a picture of myself last year of the way I look now, I honestly wouldn't believe you!  I'd say, no way, who is that crazy person ?!  This is just so unreal.  I seriously feel like I woke up in a parallel universe.  I agree they it is most definitely a very humbling experience! 

[[th...]]

panicinpink,

 

I totally agree with the feeling of "how can this be my life?!" .....It is sooooo not me!

 

Grinch

[[gr...]]

Benzos do cause muscle wasting. Especially in wd. Even if your active and excercising. Nice drigs huh.

Make u look like crap, feel like crap.

[[Be...]]

That's one of the more discouraging aspects I've had during my taper.  I used to take such pride in the way I looked, I was beautiful.  Now, I spend all day wearing glasses, hair up in a messy bun, skin broken out, no makeup, sweats & a baggy shirt.  Am far from active.  I'm losing so much muscle tone & getting flabby.  I don't like to look at myself in the mirror either, definitely avoid them.

 

If you would've showed me a picture of myself last year of the way I look now, I honestly wouldn't believe you!  I'd say, no way, who is that crazy person ?!  This is just so unreal.  I seriously feel like I woke up in a parallel universe.  I agree they it is most definitely a very humbling experience!

I think it's too Humbling. All my pride has been stricken from me. Sometimes I really just can't beleive out of EVERY drug on the face of the planet to come off of. I was put on the Hardest one for over a decade. I laugh when people try to compare opiate W/D too benzos. It doesn't even touch benzos. The only thing even close is alcohol. I would have been better off a heroin addict the last 11 yrs.

[[Be...]]

Benzos do cause muscle wasting. Especially in wd. Even if your active and excercising. Nice drigs huh.

Make u look like crap, feel like crap.

We deserve better!!! This isn't right!!!!!!

[[gr...]]

Ya i just took a shower. Nice to see my hair falling out and skin shedding. My eyes are so tired looking from zero sleep, i look like a cancer patient.

[[Be...]]

Ya i just took a shower. Nice to see my hair falling out and skin shedding. My eyes are so tired looking from zero sleep, i look like a cancer patient.

Patrick perhaps we should have choice heroin instead of benzos years ago. We wouldn't be as messed up as we are. Oh I hate pharmacies and their BS multi billion dollar industry. (MIDDLE FINGER to all the uneducated docs and Big pharm companies)

[[pa...]]

That's one of the more discouraging aspects I've had during my taper.  I used to take such pride in the way I looked, I was beautiful.  Now, I spend all day wearing glasses, hair up in a messy bun, skin broken out, no makeup, sweats & a baggy shirt.  Am far from active.  I'm losing so much muscle tone & getting flabby.  I don't like to look at myself in the mirror either, definitely avoid them.

 

If you would've showed me a picture of myself last year of the way I look now, I honestly wouldn't believe you!  I'd say, no way, who is that crazy person ?!  This is just so unreal.  I seriously feel like I woke up in a parallel universe.  I agree they it is most definitely a very humbling experience!

I think it's too Humbling. All my pride has been stricken from me. Sometimes I really just can't beleive out of EVERY drug on the face of the planet to come off of. I was put on the Hardest one for over a decade. I laugh when people try to compare opiate W/D too benzos. It doesn't even touch benzos. The only thing even close is alcohol. I would have been better off a heroin addict the last 11 yrs.

 

I completely agree!!  This stuff just isn't right!  & then to have people not take my w/d seriously because w/d's from benzos are so downplayed...it really upsets me!  People just act like I'm weak minded.  No way!  I feel like I'm Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas trying to make it outta Bat Country! I've definitely read posts of former heroin addicts who say that it is most definitely worse than the opiate withdrawal! 

 

[[gr...]]

It seemed like such a godsend at the time. Little pill i could take and make my panic attacks didnt come.

Now, its all one big panic attack. Plus a couple dozen terrible other symptoms ive never had in my life.

 

Really? I have to lose hair and skin? My fingers even hurt. Around the edges of the finger nail. Gods sake someone save us.

I never had depression to the point i couldnt function.

 

I wish we had TV air time national level, let the world see all of us.

[[Be...]]

Oh you don't want to put me on TV right now. I'm so pissed off I'd probably say some things towards Dr's that I'd seriously regret.

[[gr...]]

I dont think youd regret it. Dont worry we will just updose you so you can chill out.

[[Be...]]

Panic-Pink

 

Love what you said

 

"This stuff just isn't right!  & then to have people not take my w/d seriously because w/d's from benzos are so downplayed...it really upsets me!"

 

You took the thought right out my head. It's so wrong. IN EVER POSSIBLE WAY.

[[Be...]]

I dont think youd regret it. Dont worry we will just updose you so you can chill out.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[[th...]]

I think my fake boobs have even started to sag....

 

Too far?

 

Oh well!!!

 

G

[[be...]]

I think my fake boobs have even started to sag....

 

Too far?

 

Oh well!!!

 

G

 

:laugh:  At least you could pay for them.