I took an extra dose last night and feel like I've failed ... :-[

[[Th...]]

Last night was a rough night for me.  I was having a lot of trouble sleeping and eventually started panicking about insomnia like I often do.  I ended up taking an extra milligram of diazepam to help me sleep.  I got to sleep, but when I woke up the next morning I felt like I had failed by not following my taper.    If I'm going to go off of everything altogether, I can't just keep taking extra when I get panicky.  Will the one night screw up my taper plan?  I guess I need some support now.

[[ea...]]

Shadow, you're only human. Insomnia is tough, and boy do I know it. You haven't failed, you made a small error, and you can learn from this error. I doubt it will mess up your taper at all. Just don't get in the habit of doing this.

east

[[Ch...]]

Agree with eastcoast 100%...and you won't have messed up your taper.  Pick it up and carry on. 

[[sh...]]

I felt the same when I was reinstated in Friday night but the thing is and I've realised this over the weekend we are human, I'm in no way saying you should go back on your higher dose but we all have moments where we need a break from what were going through, even if it just means one good nights sleep.

We are all going to have moments where we feel like we've failed but there just temporary blips in our road to recovery

Thinking of you

Michelle 

[[be...]]

Agree with eastcoast 100%...and you won't have messed up your taper.  Pick it up and carry on.

 

I agree with both Challis and east.

[[Ra...]]

I feel like going back up to my previous amount has actually helped me at times.  Example: I was on 15 mg and having a rough time.  3 nights with no sleep... not a freaking wink!  I went up to 16 mg for that one day and actually slept that night.  Whether it was the extra miligram or all mental, I don't know.  The next day I went back to 15 and felt fine the rest of that time period.

 

What I'm saying is that you didn't fail, you might have helped yourself.  But you also don't want to get in the habit of it as others have said.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself.  It's a tough enough journey as it is. 

[[ka...]]

I did the same over the weekend and feel like I'm right back where I started. And I'm really worried that my doc doesn't think I need to taper so might not give me any more tablets. It's so difficult when you've relied on them for anxiety because you feel so terrible that you'd do anything to get a break from it.

[[Di...]]

No you haven't screwed up your taper and you haven't failed. It's very easy to feel a sense of panick and deperation in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. It happened to me a lot during my taper, but you do get through it. Insomnia is pretty much a mandatory side effect when you are tapering.

 

Try to find some other things that will help you get to sleep, rather than reaching for the valium. A lot of people use doxylamine which is an over the counter antihistamine and is a very good sleep aid. Some of the brand names I know of are Dozile, Restavit, Sleep Aid and Unisom.

 

Also some of the older style amitriptyline ADs are very good sleep aids, if taken at a lower dose. When my sleep got crappy I would alternate the doxy with my AD (Endep) every 4-5 days so I never got used to either of them, and it really saved my sanity.

 

Some people also find that things like melatonin, magnesium, valerian etc help a lot with sleep. Take a look at the Insomnia section and you might get some ideas. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=83.0

[[Th...]]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and support.  The other night just sucked, but I'm back on my normal taper.  If I start panicking again, I'm going to try to lay back, breathe deeply and think about the progress I've made instead of reaching for another benzo.