Why I Am Looking Here

[[v-...]]

I am 66 years old and have always been a very shy and anxious person since my teen years.  I wanted to be an accountant because that was a good job without dealing too much with the public, it seemed to me.  I had good marks and enjoyed the training, but I was told by a counselor in my early 20s that I was too shy and wouldn't be able to do this kind of work.  She told me to try and find something else.  Well, I never found anything that I could do, so have had odd jobs most of my life, mostly housekeeping and nanny work.

I was seeing a psychiatrist then and begged him to give me a tranquilizer, so he did.  I've been on Ativan since it first came out in the 1970s.  Before that I was on Serax, so it's been 40 years this month that I've been on tranquilizers.  I have to say it has helped me in the past, but now it is hindering me.  I've taken up to 6 mgs per day.  Two winters ago, I tapered down to 2 mgs per day, which I am still at.  It was a horrible experience, and I am afraid to try again!  But my mind of kind of foggy a lot and I am sensitive to so many things......foods, and drugs, electromagnetic fields like computers and cell phones, etc.  So I am kind of in a mess right now.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Hi, v-z-c.

 

Welcome to benzobuddies!

 

I was on different kinds of benzodiazepines for 29 years and just came off them in June. It's great you were able to taper down to 2 mg per day. I completely understand your fear in trying again. I'm really glad you found us because there are a lot of people who can relate to what you're feeling and can help you.

 

I also have a rather shy personality, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I'm really glad you're joining us. 

 

You will find a lot of information and support here. 

 

A good resource about benzodiazepines is the Ashton Manual. Here is a link to the manual: Professor Ashtons Manual  It’s great for learning about these meds and for taper plans. Ashton recommends reducing between 5 - 10% every 10/14 days.

 

You'll find a great community of people here who will support and encourage you. Feel free to check out the forum and to post to any of the dedicated boards.

 

In addition to the Ashton Manual, here are some other resources:

 

For tapering advice, post here General Taper Plans

 

For support with any symptoms you may have, post here: Withdrawal Support

 

Please add a signature (history of medication/doses etc). It will help members give you relevant advice. This link will show you how to Create a signature

 

Please let us know if you have any questions.

 

~ Mind

[[lo...]]

Hi vzc

 

You have come to the right place!!! I was on nitrazepam for 40 years. It was prescribed for myoclonic epilepsy. I suffered a great deal of depression also for 40 years and now believe nitrazepam was the cause of it. I am 60. I have been off nitrazepam for 18 months now and have not felt depressed for 12 months.  I no longer have epilepsy.  I was finding it harder and harder to function on nitrazepam as I got older.

 

Withdrawal varies from person to person. It was hard to start with but I am slowly improving and am very optimistic I will get better. I tapered over 3 months for just 5 mg but think a longer taper might have been better.

 

I too used to be very shy but less so now.  It is sad that we allowed ourselves to be influenced by others at such a young age. I have been on anti depressants (ADs) for 40 years and the psychiatrists blamed my childhood, my personality etc but no one ever mentioned nitrazepam.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

 

LF 

 

 

 

 

 

[[v-...]]

Thank you....your post so encouraged me!  I wondered if anyone else had been on benzos for 40 years and gotten off successfully.  But it sounds like you were very ill after you stopped?  Were those withdrawal symptoms?

[[v-...]]

I knew about Valium being better to get off than Ativan, but both my psychiatrist and medical doctor refused to change me over to Valium, telling me that it was a "dirty drug", whereas Ativan was a "clean drug".  So I can't go that route, but I am interested in the titration (liquid) method.  Could someone give me specific directions on how to do that?

[[De...]]

Hello v-z-c,

 

I too woud like to welcome you to the forum 

 

I was also taking my benzo for over 30 years and I'm pleased to tell you that I've been benzo free for 16 months and I'm doing okay. With relation to titration, I used this method and found it to be very sucessful. I will give you a link to The Titration Taper Plan Board where titration is fully explained, have a read of the pink stickies at the top of this board and if you would like assistance with drawing up a tapering plan you can post on this board for it. Here is the link :

 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=62.0

 

 

There are quite a few members here who have successfully tapered to zero directly from the Ativan, here also is a link to The Ativan Tapering support thread :

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=44903.0

 

 

I'm glad you found us and I wish you success with the taper.

 

Debbie

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Welcome  it sounds like you have had quite a journey with benzodiazepines.  The symptoms you describe are classic withdrawal/tolerance symptoms.  In my opinion you are not sensitive to electromagnetic fields but instead you are having "brain zaps" which are a very common symptom of withdrawal. We have some great resources here and the collective wisdom of our members is enormous. Make sure you check out are many boards. Again, welcome.

[[ea...]]

For 30 years I took benzos...probably every single one at one time or another. For the last 12 years I was strictly on Klonapin. Yes, I had a heliish withdrawal...simply awful and almost beyond words. But I also drank a lot of alcohol and that complicates things. My witrhdrawal, however, was strictly from the benzo. I stopped drinking several years before I stopped taking Klonapin. Plus - I went cold turkey!

I sympathize with your plight. Its a tough road to travel, but  it can be done. You have found the right place to get support and information!

east

[[lo...]]

Thank you....your post so encouraged me!  I wondered if anyone else had been on benzos for 40 years and gotten off successfully.  But it sounds like you were very ill after you stopped?  Were those withdrawal symptoms?

 

Hi vzc

 

I had a very odd experience. I had no symptoms whilst tapering for 3 months. I then had 6 months of being more depressed than usual but carried on with life. I then became very ill physically and had 6 pretty awful months in bed. I feel much better now but am still in bed a lot of the time because I can't function properly. I have no anxiety or depression just impaired physical and cognitive functioning. I think I am fortunate because I am upbeat most of the time, can occupy myself, not in any pain, just can't do much physically. To be free from depression makes up for my current limitations. Six really bad months is pretty good for 40 years of drug taking.

 

I live alone and have no family or other commitments so no pressure. That helps too. I am so glad I did this.  I believe my quality of life will be miles better once I am functioning again.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

[[v-...]]

Thanks so much for all your replies!  And sorry I haven't been back on since then.  So busy with life!  But really, I am not functioning very well at all!  So I will look into the titration program.  Thanks for the link, Debbie!

[[v-...]]

I am not doing well at all, actually almost non-functional these days, and crying a lot, so I think my body can't tolerate Ativan much longer.  I am not even tapering off yet!!!  But I don't think I have much choice, though I want to wait till after Christmas because of all the family things happening before then.  I read the Ativan board about those tapering off Ativan, and I remember all that from two years ago!

Sorry to dump on you today!!

[[v-...]]

Sorry about that!  I am feeling better.  I was actually sick with an infection that I wasn't aware of, but am getting better now.

[[ea...]]

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Its your call, whether to put this off until after Christmas. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the luck! Keep up the good work.

east

[[v-...]]

Well, I'm back again after 120 days.  I didn't taper off after Christmas.  I just thought I would try to eat healthy and get out more, etc., and maybe I wouldn't need to get off Ativan, but it hasn't worked.  I may feel good one day, but can feel totally out of it the next day if something happens where I feel "threatened"....maybe just thinking someone doesn't like me, for instance!!  So I think I have to do something.  I can't even go to church and feel good being there liked I used to feel.  I know my summer will be in the doghouse, though!

[Guest [Mi...]]

Have been on many different antidepressants over the years also besides Ativan 2mgs per day.

Zoloft

Paxil

Risperdal

Effexor

Nardil

Marplan

I am off all of these.  Just taking Ativan 2 mgs per day now.

 

AD's also can have a withdrawal effect, so perhaps your CNS needs to stabilize. When did you come off your last AD?

[[v-...]]

Oh, it's been years.  I have been on just Ativan 2mgs for two years now.  Before that I was taking up to 6 mgs per day and tapered down to 2 mgs per day.  It was a hellish experience and I hate to have to go through that again.  That's why I've been putting it off, and thinking I may not need to get off at all if I just eat healthy, and think good thoughts, etc.  But it doesn't seem to be working.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Oh, it's been years.  I have been on just Ativan 2mgs for two years now.  Before that I was taking up to 6 mgs per day and tapered down to 2 mgs per day.  It was a hellish experience and I hate to have to go through that again.  That's why I've been putting it off, and thinking I may not need to get off at all if I just eat healthy, and think good thoughts, etc.  But it doesn't seem to be working.

 

Unfortunately, there's only so far a healthy diet and happy thoughts will take you. Glad you're here and ready to taper. 

[[tr...]]

I know my summer will be in the doghouse, though!

 

Hi v-z-c,

 

Welcome to the forum! Another long-time user here. I'm doing a liquid titration and have been doing pretty good with it. I thought I would be a prisoner to benzo's after a failed attempt cut and hold taper last year. This titration has really given me new hope.

 

As far as tapering during the summer goes,I think it is the best time to taper. Something about the sunshine and fresh air helps a whole lot. Much better than being cooped up inside for months on end and not feeling well;it only makes things worse. Maybe if you get going on things you can look forward to a better Christmas or New Year. Wouldn't it be nice to ring in 2016 benzo free? Anything is possible,but you have to get started first

 

Best Wishes

TH