Agoraphobia - Does it go away?

[Guest [Or...]]

Im a little scared. Im scared that my agoraphobia wont let up after this is all over. I didnt have Agoraphobia before the benzo withdrawal started. But, Im afraid to leave my own home. Its not even because of the panic attacks. The last panic attack I had was over a week ago. I just dont get it.

[[Ra...]]

I was housebound a prisoner in my own bedroom for 4 years. Today I walked 3 miles to a pier and went on some rides at the funfair there. It goes away. It was not an easy process, I had to FIGHT to attain peace. I had to LEARN and do my homework. I can help you, but you need to want to get better. You can leave your home and you can be fearless. I recommend as a starter try to do some weight lifting or any other exercise you can do. Try to alter your diet and avoid stimulants, get some essential fatty acids fruit and veg. You may be having these panic attacks due to a weakened cns from the benzo w/d and perhaps a lack of things your body needs. You have to attack benzo w/d and not let it beat you. It's a war, a physical and mental war. I have fought hard to get to where I am now and it was worth it. Do as much as you think you can do. If you need to run back home because you are afraid, do it. Eventually you'll realize how silly your fears were. With the improved diet, exercise and perhaps some meditation if you can manage it you can DESTROY your anxiety. I have a little trophy from the severed head of my anxiety which I leave near my bed to remind me of my accomplishment. God bless you and keep you safe.

[Guest [Or...]]

Thanks =) Its not my anxiety thats holding me back, though. Its just this fear. Fear of something and I have no idea what it is. Ive wrestled with panic attacks before in 2008. Its not the panic attacks that are causing my Agoraphobia. Is Agoraphobia a symptom of withdrawal itself?

[[me...]]

Im a little scared. Im scared that my agoraphobia wont let up after this is all over. I didnt have Agoraphobia before the benzo withdrawal started. But, Im afraid to leave my own home. Its not even because of the panic attacks. The last panic attack I had was over a week ago. I just dont get it.

 

Hi,

 

In general, if you didn't have this (or other) problems before withdrawal, it does go away in time.  At only two months or so off, you're in acute withdrawal now, which is usually the worst part for most people.  Our CNS is extremely sensitive during this period.  You will heal as time passes.  Meanwhile, distract yourself as best you can...

 

[[an...]]

Dear Rarthy,

I would LOVE to see what your 'severed head of anxiety' trophy looks like!!?!

[[Ra...]]

Dear Rarthy,

I would LOVE to see what your 'severed head of anxiety' trophy looks like!!?!

 

It is a token a little coin to use at the funfair, I was terrified that day because I was afraid I was going to lose control or die you name it. I went to the fair and on a ride despite the fact I was terrified and the fear went away , I keep the token to remind me of my victory.

[[Ra...]]

Thanks =) Its not my anxiety thats holding me back, though. Its just this fear. Fear of something and I have no idea what it is. Ive wrestled with panic attacks before in 2008. Its not the panic attacks that are causing my Agoraphobia. Is Agoraphobia a symptom of withdrawal itself?

 

It may or may not be a symptom of withdrawal itself. You have to find out. Each of us has to go through this journey and find the answers. I think it's a spiritual battle. I realized that the ocd, the confusion, the phobias, depression and all the other mental problems all come from one source... Fear... My answer is probably not going to be your answer.

[[be...]]

Yes, for me the Agoraphobia went away.

 

It was a very strange segment of withdrawal to go through. I believe it began in early 2012 and lasted for 7 months or so.

 

 

 

 

[[Ra...]]

It could also just be a chemical very PHYSICAL thing. It's so hard to tell with benzo w/d. It'll go away in time, I trust it will. Mine certainly left. I have a feeling perhaps mine was a chemical false fear, perhaps. Don't worry you'll be fine.

[[ge...]]

I had this badly. My nervous system was so overwhelmed and being out and about and interacting with people was too much. I'm fine with that almost all the time now. It does go away 

[[Se...]]

I had this badly. My nervous system was so overwhelmed and being out and about and interacting with people was too much. I'm fine with that almost all the time now. It does go away 

 

This comes close to what explains my daytime agoraphobia, I've also been trying to understand it and of course hoping it will go away.

 

I'm not scared of having a panic attack and there's nothing in particular I'm scared of, but its so difficult to leave the controlled environment of my home.  I've tried using graduated exposure, but that seems to make it worse, so its been very confusing.

 

For me the cause of agoraphobia seems to be over stimulation caused by a sensitized nervous system.  Its also been made worse by forcing myself to go out and do things, I think this has added a layer of PTSD.

 

Bright light, noise, crowds, temperature changes, novelty, decisions, sensory input of any kind which may trigger emotional or cognitive reaction, stress and change of any kind.... all these things add to the overwhelm and they all increase when leaving home.  Add a few of these together for any length of time and I start to feel very sick.

 

Its been terribly confusing though, at times I'm fine, but then suddenly, for no apparent reason a wave of DR will wash over me, or sounds will become distorted and my vision will go blurry. I will forget who I am and what I'm doing, or suddenly something I'm reading or listening to doesn't make sense.  Or I will become dizzy and break out in a cold sweat or suddenly be overwhelmed with bad memories.  I can't predict from one moment to the next how any place or situation is going to effect me.  I know its not the place or situation, but the way my body is reacting to too much stimulation, but I can't seem to predict or have any control.

 

I manage to go out when I have to, for groceries or necessary chores, but apart from that, I just feel more comfortable staying home.  Its easier to go out later in the day, so that's when I try and do most chores.  But I'm still very scared that this isn't going to go away.  There are things I want to start doing, outside of my home, like I used to do, but I'm being held prisoner by my own sensitive body.

 

When I read posts advising people to push themselves in order to 'heal', it confuses me because in the past, pushing myself to do things has made me worse, increased symptoms and added traumatic memories which make it even harder to try next time.  If I'm very symptomatic and force myself to go grocery shopping, its like trying to function in the world while being on a bad drug trip, very frightening, but there have been times when I've forced myself to do it anyway, thinking that it was somehow contributing to recovery.  But now, those terrifying memories jump into my mind every time I realize I need to go out and buy some milk, I don't want to go through that terrifying experience again.  I know that going through it isn't going to kill me, I'm not scared of having a panic attack, its like walking out into the world, to do the things normal people do everyday, for me at the moment is like walking into a torture machine and I just don't want to go through it over and over again. 

 

Its not like having panic attacks and then they calm down and you are back to normal.  This is like suddenly finding myself in an altered reality, a nightmare where everything looks and feels wrong and my own body starts sending warning signals and my brain stops working properly.

 

Who volunteers to be tortured? Its not natural.  My natural instinct is telling me to stay home and avoid the over stimulation of the outside world.

 

But what's the truth?  Is it really just time that's going to fix me and decrease this sensitivity, or do I need to treat myself like a muscle and keep increasing the stress to build it up, which so far has only increased PTSD.  Its the complete lack of control over my own body and the unpredictable nature of it which is causing me to behave in such a self protective way.

 

Has anyone else had agoraphobia caused by sensitivity issues, then have the sensitivity go away and the agoraphobia naturally resolve?  How long did it take and what was it like?  Did it happen gradually, suddenly or in a window and wave kind of pattern?

 

I just want this to stop so I can feel normal again.  I can't hardly remember what it was like to feel normal, I'm forgetting even that.  :'(

[[Mi...]]

OMG I am in tears.  Your post is so familiar that if I wrote it, it would say the EXACT EXACT same thing.  I don't know the answers. I am at almost 8 months.  But you aren't alone! 

[Guest [Or...]]

From what I understand, the severity decreases over time. Ive done a lot of reading on here and other forums and the agoraphobia that develops during Benzo withdrawal. Its all chemical. The reason that we become agoraphobic is because we are so sensitive to any amount of stress that we just cant handle any outside influences. As the symptoms start to decrease, so does the agoraphobia. But, this agoraphobia is different than people who suffer from agoraphobia alone. We arent actually afraid of the outdoors. We are afraid of the symptoms that we have difficulty facing inside, and facing them with all of the chaos of the outdoors. I imagine that the process is very slow at first, but quickly increases as you get out more and more as you feel recovered. Like, the first few times you step out of the house symptom free you will be cautious and afraid that your symptoms will come back. However, you notice that they dont. So, you go for a little walk. You may feel some panic set on, you go back home. But, you realize that you are fine. Wash, rinse, repeat, it becomes like old times and you are SO excited to get your life back on track that you begin to go out more and more and it gets easier as times go on. Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. I WANT to go outside and go to a friends house. I want to visit my family. I actually want to go to work and be productive! I dont want to sit in here and be an anxious mass on the couch every day. Just gotta hang in there till its our turn.

[[Se...]]

Like, the first few times you step out of the house symptom free you will be cautious and afraid that your symptoms will come back. However, you notice that they dont.

 

There's been a few times when I've felt symptom free and I've gone out and its been just like old times.  One time was about two years ago, it lasted for a whole afternoon and I had a nice time shopping, looking for some craft supplies, but the next day the nightmare was back.  I also had a similar experience for about an hour one afternoon more recently, maybe two months ago.  There have been a few other occasions were I've been out and felt normal and each time I've been happy and excited, thinking that I'm recovered and can now finally have a life again.  Only to crash back down to my awful reality the next day.

 

This is what makes it so hard to understand.  If we are sensitive to any amount of stress, why is is sometimes ok?  I dont expect anyone to have any answers, I've also done a lot of reading and it seems that there are differences in healing patterns along a general improvement curve.

 

Thanks Orionbash for saying we have to hang on until its our turn, that's what it instinctively feels like, I'm not good at respecting my own feelings.  Sometimes I feel ashamed and guilty because I'm not doing more to make myself get better faster, but there's nothing to be done.

 

Maybe this is more like when you break a bone, it needs to be supported and kept still until it heals, then when the bone is fused and strong again, the surrounding muscles can be slowly built back up in strength again.  I think a damaged NS takes longer than a bone to heal.

[Guest [Or...]]

Like, the first few times you step out of the house symptom free you will be cautious and afraid that your symptoms will come back. However, you notice that they dont.

 

There's been a few times when I've felt symptom free and I've gone out and its been just like old times.  One time was about two years ago, it lasted for a whole afternoon and I had a nice time shopping, looking for some craft supplies, but the next day the nightmare was back.  I also had a similar experience for about an hour one afternoon more recently, maybe two months ago.  There have been a few other occasions were I've been out and felt normal and each time I've been happy and excited, thinking that I'm recovered and can now finally have a life again.  Only to crash back down to my awful reality the next day.

 

This is what makes it so hard to understand.  If we are sensitive to any amount of stress, why is is sometimes ok?  I dont expect anyone to have any answers, I've also done a lot of reading and it seems that there are differences in healing patterns along a general improvement curve.

 

Thanks Orionbash for saying we have to hang on until its our turn, that's what it instinctively feels like, I'm not good at respecting my own feelings.  Sometimes I feel ashamed and guilty because I'm not doing more to make myself get better faster, but there's nothing to be done.

 

Maybe this is more like when you break a bone, it needs to be supported and kept still until it heals, then when the bone is fused and strong again, the surrounding muscles can be slowly built back up in strength again.  I think a damaged NS takes longer than a bone to heal.

 

From what I can understand about windows, is that the brain temporarily achieves a moment of homeostasis. This is probobly by accident and it doesnt quite catch on that quickly that this is correct. The brain was never really meant to be injured. Thats why its so protected and thats why it takes forever to heal. So, we just gotta ride it out unfortunately. But I have read several success stories where people were extremely agoraphobic and one day they were just able to return to life as normal. So, hopefully that is re-assuring!

[[Wo...]]

I was housebound a prisoner in my own bedroom for 4 years. Today I walked 3 miles to a pier and went on some rides at the funfair there. It goes away. It was not an easy process, I had to FIGHT to attain peace. I had to LEARN and do my homework. I can help you, but you need to want to get better. You can leave your home and you can be fearless. I recommend as a starter try to do some weight lifting or any other exercise you can do. Try to alter your diet and avoid stimulants, get some essential fatty acids fruit and veg. You may be having these panic attacks due to a weakened cns from the benzo w/d and perhaps a lack of things your body needs. You have to attack benzo w/d and not let it beat you. It's a war, a physical and mental war. I have fought hard to get to where I am now and it was worth it. Do as much as you think you can do. If you need to run back home because you are afraid, do it. Eventually you'll realize how silly your fears were. With the improved diet, exercise and perhaps some meditation if you can manage it you can DESTROY your anxiety. I have a little trophy from the severed head of my anxiety which I leave near my bed to remind me of my accomplishment. God bless you and keep you safe.

 

Rar, did it take you 4 years to recover ? are you fully healed ?

 

My agoraphobia comes and goes but mine is more related to the fear of my severe DP DR when I'm out, the world looks so strange and terrfying and nothing like I remember so this causes me to stay home a lot, I do go out everyday for a walk but I have to take a route close to home or else I will get lost and freak out as my DP DR mind can't connect to where I am.. So I'm not sure if mine is classed as agoraphobia ?  But at the same time I never want to go out as I know what's ahead, I'm not afraid when out as such I just feel brain damaged, confused, disorientated and lost so I rush home again and isolate until the next day, but still it never gets easier? Sorry if I went off track my mind is all over the place so if I'm making no sense don't worry, head pressure and boaty dizziness messes my thoughts up so finding it hard to make sense today

 

Best Wishes

 

Woofs

[[88...]]

Hi,

my agoraphobia is mostly gone, and I attribute that to taking probiotics.

Here's my reasoning: I've read that benzos are hard on our probiotic population, and after taking them for

a while, the agoraphobia diminished. OCD is mostly gone too.

It is chemical.

Iggy/Freedom

[[Wo...]]

I had this badly. My nervous system was so overwhelmed and being out and about and interacting with people was too much. I'm fine with that almost all the time now. It does go away 

 

This comes close to what explains my daytime agoraphobia, I've also been trying to understand it and of course hoping it will go away.

 

I'm not scared of having a panic attack and there's nothing in particular I'm scared of, but its so difficult to leave the controlled environment of my home.  I've tried using graduated exposure, but that seems to make it worse, so its been very confusing.

 

For me the cause of agoraphobia seems to be over stimulation caused by a sensitized nervous system.  Its also been made worse by forcing myself to go out and do things, I think this has added a layer of PTSD.

 

Bright light, noise, crowds, temperature changes, novelty, decisions, sensory input of any kind which may trigger emotional or cognitive reaction, stress and change of any kind.... all these things add to the overwhelm and they all increase when leaving home.  Add a few of these together for any length of time and I start to feel very sick.

 

Its been terribly confusing though, at times I'm fine, but then suddenly, for no apparent reason a wave of DR will wash over me, or sounds will become distorted and my vision will go blurry. I will forget who I am and what I'm doing, or suddenly something I'm reading or listening to doesn't make sense.  Or I will become dizzy and break out in a cold sweat or suddenly be overwhelmed with bad memories.  I can't predict from one moment to the next how any place or situation is going to effect me.  I know its not the place or situation, but the way my body is reacting to too much stimulation, but I can't seem to predict or have any control.

 

I manage to go out when I have to, for groceries or necessary chores, but apart from that, I just feel more comfortable staying home.  Its easier to go out later in the day, so that's when I try and do most chores.  But I'm still very scared that this isn't going to go away.  There are things I want to start doing, outside of my home, like I used to do, but I'm being held prisoner by my own sensitive body.

 

When I read posts advising people to push themselves in order to 'heal', it confuses me because in the past, pushing myself to do things has made me worse, increased symptoms and added traumatic memories which make it even harder to try next time.  If I'm very symptomatic and force myself to go grocery shopping, its like trying to function in the world while being on a bad drug trip, very frightening, but there have been times when I've forced myself to do it anyway, thinking that it was somehow contributing to recovery.  But now, those terrifying memories jump into my mind every time I realize I need to go out and buy some milk, I don't want to go through that terrifying experience again.  I know that going through it isn't going to kill me, I'm not scared of having a panic attack, its like walking out into the world, to do the things normal people do everyday, for me at the moment is like walking into a torture machine and I just don't want to go through it over and over again. 

 

Its not like having panic attacks and then they calm down and you are back to normal.  This is like suddenly finding myself in an altered reality, a nightmare where everything looks and feels wrong and my own body starts sending warning signals and my brain stops working properly.

 

Who volunteers to be tortured? Its not natural.  My natural instinct is telling me to stay home and avoid the over stimulation of the outside world.

 

But what's the truth?  Is it really just time that's going to fix me and decrease this sensitivity, or do I need to treat myself like a muscle and keep increasing the stress to build it up, which so far has only increased PTSD.  Its the complete lack of control over my own body and the unpredictable nature of it which is causing me to behave in such a self protective way.

 

Has anyone else had agoraphobia caused by sensitivity issues, then have the sensitivity go away and the agoraphobia naturally resolve?  How long did it take and what was it like?  Did it happen gradually, suddenly or in a window and wave kind of pattern?

 

I just want this to stop so I can feel normal again.  I can't hardly remember what it was like to feel normal, I'm forgetting even that.  :'(

 

Wow, Wow Wow

 

I just can't believe that what you wrote is exactly me and how you feel and think is also exactly me only I can't seem to put it in to words like you have just done, I talk about DP DR and how it effects me but I think after reading your description above you describe me better than I can describe myself

 

Click on my thread below and if able read all my posts on just this one thread and if not just read page 1 and then page 24 where I describe my day out just last Sunday gone, how you feel is exactly how I felt last Sunday and every time I push myself, see also my question to wilcat about pushing our selfs and how it sets me back no end now compared to my first year out!!

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=107291.0

 

Once you have read them I would then love to hear more from you?

 

Best Wishes

 

Woofs