Please help, I am desperate

[[Mo...]]

I have severe PTSD, a head injury and coma history. I was in a car accident when I was 11 in 1971 with my mother who was killed. They did not know what PTSD was back then. They never helped me properly. At age 16 I started on benzos which kept the flashbacks away and gave me a feeling of well being. I have never abused, escalated or drank with them but became completely dependent on them. It started with Dalmane for years. Then over these 38 years I have been on Halcion, Serax, now for many years Klonopin...from 1 mg to 1 and a half mg. Total per day plus up to .5 or a little more Xanax per day. Now the Klonopin has turned on me making me agitated. Have not slept for weeks...only in small spurts. I would like to get off benzos and try to learn how to deal with the severe flashbacks. In the meantime I just want to switch the Klonopin to Ativan (I don't know if it is still ok to keep the Xanax)...and I don't know how to convert. I would like to try Naltrexone eventually perhaps. I use small doses like 12.5 benadryl with klon and xanax at bedtime trying to get sleep. Nothing is working. Please help. Thank you. Oh, and my shrink is inaccessable and I'm supposed to fly from Portland, oregon to Dallas Tx on Monday to go to a trauma program.  I think they can help me navigate the meds down there, but how can I travel like this?  I'm a zombie and scared.  I don't want to die or have a stroke or whatever if I try to travel like this.  I am not driving, I have a ride to the airport, wheelchairs at each leg of the trip and then I have to ride a shuttle.  If I could have one full night's sleep, it would change my life right now.  Instead I sleep for a half hour here and there with racing in my exhausted body.

[[si...]]

Just curious... why do you want to switch to Ativan?  Ativan has a much shorter half-life than Klonopin.

 

[[be...]]

Just curious... why do you want to switch to Ativan?  Ativan has a much shorter half-life than Klonopin.

 

Yep. I'd like to know that too. Usually you C/O from klonpoin to Valium. Or from Ativan to Valium. Klonopin is one nasty drug and it very potent. ~~~ Bets

[[Ju...]]

I'm so sorry for your difficult situation.  I also had a long history of being medicated with a benzo, (Xanax)..  And it eventually turned on me.  I reached tolerance and it seems this might be what is going on with you too.

 

And silveralpha is correct, we don't usually see a person transitioning from Klonopin to Ativan due to Ativan's extremely short half life.  I'm also guessing you are feeling so bad on the Klonopin might have to do with tolerance as well as as-needed dosing, (1mg to 1.5mg), rather than the Klonopin itself.

 

I see you are also taking an as-needed dose of Xanax in addition to the Klonopin.

 

As-needed dosing can be a huge problem with benzos.  Our bodies really like consistency, ESPECIALLY if we've taken this class of meds long term.

 

The first thing I would do to hopefully feel better is find a dose of each benzo I am currently taking and see if I could get as stable as possible.  Stable does not mean feel perfect, it just means feel better.  I would take this same dose, (exact same dose, no more as-needed dosing), every single day for a minimum of 10 to 14 days.

 

I'd see if I could get more stable by dosing regularly and then after I was more stable I would plan a taper off.

 

I would also consider completely dropping the Xanax from my dosing regimen and substituting it with an EQUAL amount of Klonopin.  In my opinion, Xanax might be a big part of your current problem.

 

You remind me of me.  Concerned about how to get myself to and from an airport and navigate through the airport.  No way I could have flown during my taper.

 

I'm also concerned this "trauma program" might want to detox you off of your benzos quickly or even increase them.  I believe I would opt to control my taper at home, if I were in your shoes.  We can support you during the process.  Even folks who have taken benzos long term can come off of the meds and live a complete life.

 

Also, considering your length of use, your doses are reasonable.  This will play to your advantage, I believe.  Take care.   

[[Mo...]]

Hi Juliea,

 

I have actually been good at taking my meds on a schedule...not on an as -needed basis. For years I log what I take and the time. I did make the switch to Ativan (first time on that one) just today. I have not slept for a month and I am a mess. Actually the trauma program is the top in the country. They would help me with these meds...not taper quickly nor up them. I just don't see how I could travel but I need the help. Benzos sort of saved my life. They are the only meds that have keot my severe flashbacks away for so many years With this extreme PTSD which is only worsening as I get older, I am afraid to fully taper with no tools to handle the flashbacks. I have titrated before with not too much problem (over several months) but I am worse now. I need sleep. Desperately. I want real sleep to come back someday if it can. I am not tapering at this time. I am glad I was switched to Ativan today although benzos mess with me now after all these years. But I wanted to stop the klon and xanax and just be on one thing. Ativan is longer acting than Xanax. I stopped Oxycodone (an opiate) August 14th...cold turkey. I was on a prescribed dose for a few years for pain. My cold-turkey Was Hell on Earth. So instead of staying with klon and xanax I asked to be changed to ativan. I hope it works. I don't know the conversion but I am told to take 3 mg. A day, 4 at most. I hope this helps. I am worried and appreciate feedback. Please tell me how to find replies on this site. Oh...I do feel adrenaline rushes from this first ativan which I don't like.. I look forward to being benzo free someday. It should be easier to get off of only one instead of the two.

[[Ju...]]

To find replies, please notice the top of the forum where it says Hello Mozart8181.  Just under this are two links to find unread posts and also new replies to your posts.

 

Well, I do wish you well with the Ativan.  I hope it helps you feel better.

 

Ativan is roughly 50% weaker than Xanax or Klonopin according to the Ashton Manual.

 

So, .50mg of Xanax and Klonopin are roughly equivalent to 1mg of Ativan. 

[[bk...]]

Hi Mozart. Wanted you to know that I have been on xanax and then klonopin for apprx. 23 yrs. I am doing a slow taper. When I started the taper I took 6mg klonopin, I am down to .75 mg daily. It is possible to get off the benzo's. I won't downplay the s/x. Some days it can get rough but you will get there. This site is great, many times I have made it through with help from the  buddies.  I hope you come to this site often.  You can get a lot of support and questions answered.  I am so sorry for what you have been through. You are a very strong, person, that is very clear. The day will come when you are benzo free. Don't be hard on yourself you are doing great. Take Care, we will get there, not a doubt in my mind.    Kay