Feeling worse everyday

[Guest [he...]]

My symptoms are showing no signs of letting up, it's like their getting worse as each day comes.  I'm trying not to show how I feel to my husband and 2 children, but depression is hitting me now...feeling hopeless.

 

It doesn't help because I've read at least half a dozen post's of people who continued to get worse for 6 months or more, what the hell is that?!  I assumed it would get better, and now I'm seeing that is not a reality.

 

I was in severe tolerance withdrawal, I had no choice but to be detoxed.  My mind keeps asking what would happen now if I went back on a benzo?  I tried Phenibut the other day and I was almost back to normal and felt like myself for a day and a half, but that's a scary thing because I know it's actions are similar to a benzo, but I'm getting desperate for relief.  Would it make any sense to go back on at this point?  My husband told me when I was in the hospital that he would leave me if I ever touched a benzo again. He's not all that bad he is very supportive, but he has been through hell with me.  My kids are wondering why I'm in bed everyday.

 

I can't go on like this day after day, I don't know how anyone can do this for 6 months or more.  This waiting game is terrifying me, yet depressing as well.  I've lost my job, has anyone here been able to continue working throughout this hell?

[[sa...]]

I'm at four months and feel worse today. This process is long and cruel. You might get better sooner you never know. Hang in there.

[[be...]]

Stopping cold turkey can bring on horrific symptoms. I know firsthand how horrible symptoms can be. I stopped benzodiazepines cold turkey 9 months ago. In my opinion reinstating at this point comes with risks. First you are past the recommend two week window. Secondly you may either go into a worse tolerance withdrawal or even get a paradoxical effect where the drug does just the opposite than what you want. The acute phase is the absolute worse part of withdrawal. My acute phase last 5 to 6 weeks. My symptoms were mentally excruciating during that period but did ease up slowly over time. You are 25 days closer to being healed.

[[Ch...]]

This is how a cold turkey goes.  At least you're past the time for worrying about seizures, though you are left with the withdrawal symptoms.  It's been about three weeks so you're still in acute withdrawal, which tends to be the first four to six weeks or so and sometimes longer.

 

I went back and read all your posts so far.  You were actually taking 4-5mg when you cold turkeyed, right?  A couple of your posts said that amount didn't work anymore.  So you c/t'ed from a larger amount than it says in your signature, most likely.

 

If it were me I might try the Phenibut when things got unbearable since it worked for you.  I read about on online and as long as you don't take it regularly you may not become dependent.

[Guest [he...]]

Thanks all, towards the end I was taking massive doses to try and relieve the anxiety.  I'm scared the Phenibut will set me back. 

[[ci...]]

helpmom, I am sending you hope and encouragement. Yes you can do this, and you will be OK. You have to believe this. You have 25 days behind you, you are on your way to healing. Listen to those that took this road before you. Acute is the worst, after you get out of acute things ease up for you. Remember how YOU feel today is not how you will feel a few weeks from now or a few months from now.

 

I CT ambien 5 months ago and suffered with harsh WDs, physical and mentally, but over time things have eased up, it is not how it was in acute. I have accepted that I am just in limbo for awhile, I take 1 day at a time, and do the best I can to get thru it. I believe now that I will heal with time, where back in acute, I let that benzo devil try to convince me otherwise. I have more good times than bad times now. But I know it will take time. I lost my job because of this, but compared to the last few months, it is no longer so important, my health and my happiness is my priority now. I know it must be a challenge for you with 2 children to take care of but sometimes the distraction can be good.

 

I would suggest you check in with "rob742au" regarding the phenibut use. His use of phenibut caused him some issues that you may want to take into consideration.

 

You will be OK.

 

[Guest [he...]]

Thank you, I'm so depressed I don't know what's happening to me, I can't stop crying, this is a first since for me.  I just cannot go on like this anymore....I cant take months more of this.

[[ci...]]

helpmom, I know exactly what is happening to you, you are going thru WDs. I CT 5 months ago and never suffered from anxiety, panic and uncontrollable crying in my life until I CT. I was afraid to be alone. Prior to my CT I was always happy, no depression, no anxiety. I never took any other meds in my life except for ambien. Ambien is a z-drug, has the same WDs as benzos. I lost confidence in myself, I avoided others because I could not trust myself not to cry. More like uncontrollable sobbing.

 

Now at 5 months things has eased up, where I can function more. And things will ease up for you also. Please believe that, you have to accept that what you are going thru is just WDs, and it is temporary, you may not notice improvement day to day or week to week, but it will lessen up. And you are still in acute, so this is going to be the worst time for you. I remember the acute phase I felt like I was going crazy, but I knew it was because of WDs. My anxiety has lessen now, it still exists but not to the degree it was in the acute stage.

 

I used BB as a support, but again try to focus on the success stories right now, avoid trying to compare your recovery times to others. Just remember that TIME heals all of us, and the further you get away from the day you last took a benzos, the closer you are to complete healing. I also have a very supportive husband, who I asked to read BB posts, and info on WDs, so he could truly understand what I am going thru. Get your support system set up, spouse, friend and/or counselor. Don't look at how long your recovery may take, just get thru each day or maybe each hour. Try walking, anything for distraction...TV. internet, games.

 

We are here for you. Always, cindy

 

 

[Guest [he...]]

Thank you Cindy for the support, hope you are well.