Faith

[[Mi...]]

Has anyone else had this experience destroy their faith? I held on to my faith through the tough financial times these past six years, but having a drug rob me of my mind and soul and destroy my ability to love and care for my children like I did was just too much. I went to Mass every week, made sure my kids did, taught CCD, prayed the rosary, read the Bible, and now I can't and don't want to do any of those things. I feel it was all a lie.

[[re...]]

No, actually, my experience was just the opposite.

I went back to Mass again, after years away.

I mean think about it: if all the horrors of human history,

in just the 20th Century alone, did not destroy your faith,

why would a short struggle with a nasty little drug have that effect?

You'll be ok. Just give it time. All will be restored.

It ain't nothin but another withdrawal symptom.

[[Mi...]]

Thank you. I really want to believe you. No, the horrors of the 20th century did not destroy my faith, but having my ability to feel emotions did. God forbid my mother passed away today I would not be able to cry. I would not be able to grieve fully because it's as if the withdrawal erased the part of my brain that stores emotional connections. To not be able to care or grieve when there is tragedy or to laugh when there is joy, that is just too horrible - it is like no longer being human.

[[re...]]

Your emotions are not gone. They're just asleep. They'll wake up, very groggy, very cranky, and crabby, and whiny, and fussy, and - then you'll wish they'd go back to sleep. But it's all part of the healing. Just keep telling yourself every day, little by little, day by day, I am healing. Little by little. In a few months I'll be a lot better. In a year or two, I'll have a hard time remembering any of this. Little by little.