I am thinking of reinstating.

[[os...]]

 

Sorry this is a negative post.

 

I think I have been on this drug for too many years to successfully quit.

 

This morning I have had to change my bedding as it is soaked with sweat, the pillow cases are soaking wet also... big wet patches.

 

I feel shaky.

 

I have been at this taper for 38 months and I HOPED that by going slow I would start to find this a little easier once below a certain dose but this just seems to get harder and harder.

 

I have had an incredibly strict diet throughout all this time, no sugar, no caffeine, no MSG for 3 years now, I have tried to eat only the best foods and I have tried to be accepting of the duration of this but this is not living.

 

I have not been out in over 3 years and I have suffered terribly to get here and I honestly don't know if I can keep doing this, I am starting to feel terribly depressed now and that scares me.

 

This just seems like a nightmare that never ends... I cannot taper faster without inducing a feeling of terror and so the ONLY way I know that I will ever stand a chance of doing this is to go super slow but I don't think I can do three more years of this

 

Yes, I am sure it is possible for even a long term user like me to overcome this but I am not sure that I even want to any more.

 

I might make a dose correction tomorrow and have a break, because I need to think about whether or not I want to carry on this attempt to become benzo free.

 

The older I get the more people I meet that have problems one way or another and they are on anti depressants and so on, I am starting to think that this is just how life is for many, it's not perfect and it's not ideal but some of us seem to find life a little easier with the help of meds, I hate the fact that I have to take a damn pill in order to function in life but I have a lot of thinking to do.

 

It must be to do with the duration I have been on this drug, it just seems so incredibly hard to do this and if I carry on, I am looking at years of struggle to even get free, I can't go faster, it's too much for me to do this any other way, if I tried I would end up needing help and yet all the evidence points towards detox being a terrible idea.

 

I just can't see me being able to pull this off, I think the duration alone will be enough to put me into a state of deep depression and I am just starting to think that the price to get free of this stuff is simply too high, I don't know if I want to spend more years of my life trying to get free, this is not getting any easier as I had hoped and my quality of life is pretty much non existent and has been for a very long time now.

 

I want to get off this drug but in all honesty, at best I can see me getting to 2 mgs Valium equivalent and there I think I will remain but I will be honest here, I think quite a few get free and find it is too much to remain drug free, I am sure more reinstate than we know of, I think many find that being at zero is simply too heavy going, I remember Flea on here could not hack it at all and he reinstated and was out at family functions the next day enjoying life... and I have to say that I wish I had my life back too and I can't see that happening for a very, very long time.

 

Is this worth it to someone like me who has been on these drugs for so many years? If it takes me 2 more years to reach 2 mgs, that is 5 years of tapering and 5 years of no life... then I will still have 2 more mgs to go and that would take me at least 2 more years if not more, that totals 7 years+ just to get free and then there is the standard 2 years post withdrawal recovery time, I never thought I would say this but I do believe it can take an unlucky few as long as 9-10 years to FULLY recover from these drugs, I never wanted to believe it could take that long but these days I can well believe it.

 

One thing for sure is I know I cannot rush off these things... I will more than likely be putting myself at risk and I am not prepared to lose my mind by tapering faster to "get it over with" as these drugs seem to cause damage when we try and discontinue them too quickly, I know only too well how horrific the withdrawals can be, so it is a case of be incredibly sick or go super slow and stand a chance at having some semblance of a life but in all honesty, even going slow barely affords me a half decent life.

 

I will have a long taper break and think this through, I may stick at it but go even slower, I don't care when I get free any more, I just want to be well enough to live a little here and there... I think at best I will get down to 5 mgs Librium and will more than likely stay there unless the miracle of a lifting of mental symptoms starts to lift by then, I seem to recall a few on this site saying that by 2 mgs Valium equivalent this started to get easier... I hope and pray that is the case for me because it will be a long and painful journey to get there, 2 more years...

 

I might just stick it out until then but my hopes of becoming benzo free seem pretty impossible right now... I am just not sure I am prepared to be sick for years, it just seems to be so hard to do this and the time it takes to get free and recover seems so insanely long, so maybe I should just aim to get lower and be proud of that fact... freedom seems too far off to think about any more.

 

I don't honestly know how many do this, the anxiety I get is like terror and I can't hack it at all, so I can only go slow, any other way would result in failure because I simply cannot cope with the terror, it's too much and so super slow is my only chance to even hope of succeeding.

 

I am not going to do anything drastic but I am going to seriously consider quitting this effort, I have a lot to think about because when I see people getting slammed well under 0.5 mg Valium, I just think I don't stand a chance at pulling this off... and I am no longer convinced that doing a super long and slow taper will mitigate the post withdrawal acute stuff... it's become apparent to me that even if I managed a smooth landing, the reality is it will be a very long and very painful process and I am not sure my resolve will last that long, to be at this for such a long duration in itself is enough to make me think this is not worth it.

 

 

[[os...]]

 

25 years I have been on this drug, so anyone reading this, it is the duration that I have been on benzo's that is making this even harder of that I am certain.

 

I have made a decision to taper AS SLOW AS I NEED TO in order to get to 2 mgs Valium equivalent and from there I will more than likely stay for awhile and have a long taper break, my mother stayed on 5 mgs Librium for years and seemed OK, there seems to me to be no reason why I can't do the same... or at least stay there for long enough to enjoy life for awhile before I continue.

 

This will be a process for me, I am going to focus more on wellness and maintaining some sort of a life rather than freedom.

 

Right now I am going to take as long as necessary to get stable and forget this whole thing, after 38 months I need a break from my taper anyway...

 

Not giving up but no longer care when I get this done.

 

 

[[be...]]

Oscar:

 

I really don't think this is so b/c you took benzos for a long period of time. You are just super sensitive and one of the unlucky ones. You are so close, so don't give up. Do you want to continue updosing  for the rest of your life, and still feel miserable?. You can't truly healed until you are off completely. Slow down more if you have to, but keep on going. You are nearly at the end. I've been taking  high doses of both xanax and klonopin for more than 20 years (first 13 mg of Xanax and then 10 mg of K) and I drop by 5% every two weeks. No holds, no updosing, no reinstatement's. And I have no s/x to report of. Been this way for a year now, since I was on 10 mg of K. Now I am on 1.75 mg of K. If I can do this, then so can you. Good luck Oscar. 

[[os...]]

 

Thanks Benzogirl.

 

I just don't get how I can feel such TINY cuts and so often... it's just crazy really. I think these waves are unavoidable at a really low dose at times, it's always navigating over these seemingly impossible walls that is so damned hard.

 

I have so many fears coming off this stuff now that I think I could use someone to talk to.

 

My latest symptom has been over heating and profuse sweating with intense hot flashes... and here I am wondering if it is dangerous to get so over heated, it's a truly horrible feeling together with high anxiety... it has been a really rough past few days and as always I fear I won't  stabilize, I have had that fear all through my taper, as soon as I am hit with symptoms I think I am going to be stuck like that and it really scares me, if only I could grasp the wave concept I would be able to be a bit more positive but when in it, it feels so permanent.

 

I am never really well but I am starting to find it really hard to get lower now and I still have 2.8 mg V equivalent to lose.

 

God, if only I could get to 2 mgs, if I get there maybe there will be a shift, I just want to get to a dose where I know I am going to make it.

 

I wish I could try a 0.10 mg Valium cut but I think I would just burn up and be real sick.

[[be...]]

 

Thanks Benzogirl.

 

I just don't get how I can feel such TINY cuts and so often... it's just crazy really. I think these waves are unavoidable at a really low dose at times, it's always navigating over these seemingly impossible walls that is so damned hard.

 

I have so many fears coming off this stuff now that I think I could use someone to talk to.

 

My latest symptom has been over heating and profuse sweating with intense hot flashes... and here I am wondering if it is dangerous to get so over heated, it's a truly horrible feeling together with high anxiety... it has been a really rough past few days and as always I fear I won't  stabilize, I have had that fear all through my taper, as soon as I am hit with symptoms I think I am going to be stuck like that and it really scares me, if only I could grasp the wave concept I would be able to be a bit more positive but when in it, it feels so permanent.

 

I am never really well but I am starting to find it really hard to get lower now and I still have 2.8 mg V equivalent to lose.

 

God, if only I could get to 2 mgs, if I get there maybe there will be a shift, I just want to get to a dose where I know I am going to make it.

 

I wish I could try a 0.10 mg Valium cut but I think I would just burn up and be real sick.

 

Oscar:

 

I really don't know what to say about your situation. I have been following you for a year now and every time you post it's b/c you are miserable. But  think there was one period of time a couple of months ago and said you were feeling much better. That was great news to hear. Do you have a log and can go back to where you were feeling better and what you did at that point? That might give you an indication on what to do next. I think no matter how long you wait, your taper will be miserable. You just picked the low card out of the deck. Why don't you just suffer thru the rest of your taper and get it over with. Do you want two more years of this? I don't think holding for a long time will make much of a matter. Your taper has been the longest I ever read, and yet, you still feel awful. So holding for a long period of time won't help, as you know by now. And I think I just happened to pick the high card out of the deck, as I am symptom free. Don't know how long that will last, tho. But it has lasted  from the very beginning. So my advice to you is stop holding, and continue on a reasonable taper plan that won't take forever. If you do it right, then you should be off in three or four months. I think you can handle that after 38 months, no? You're prolonging your misery. And I believe if it will take you another two years, you will feel misery all of the way down. So, let's just get it over with so you can begin to finally heal. Or just decide to stay on benzos for life. That would be a terrible waste, as you'll just to updose after updose and you will feel even more miserable. Who in their right mind wants to stay on this S**T anyway? ~~ Bets

[[cl...]]

I have had a couple of days stabilizing and am on 1/2 of taper. If you have a large supply of pills, are you taking the oldest first like I was doing? I can tell the difference in pills that are one month newer. I am now taking the fresher ones because even on a taper the older ones were causing symptoms. I too am in a small struggle to see what happens after next cut. I don't have depression so I am grateful for that but I am not able to do the things I would like to do. Acceptance is a thing I have had to learn in all the areas I can't do things for the time being. BenzoGirl knows you pretty well and I agree with what she says because I needed to hear it too. My screen name reminds me why I came here. I have to be reminded especially when I think I should updose or some other nonsense that the drug will keep telling you. My windows happen sometimes by just being peaceful and thankful for just a short repose. I have had the clinical depression feelings and that is much harder to deal with since it feels like it won't go away.

[[os...]]

 

The thing Bets is that I tapered initially for 7.5 months non-stop without any holds at all, I tapered daily and just adjusted my cuts on the way down, I lost the equivalent of 8 mgs Valium between 01st July 2011 and mid February 2012, so I was doing well but super sick a lot of the time but then when I hit 4 mgs Valium, I got slammed into acute withdrawal very hard, everything caught up with me and it felt like CT, it was just terrible.

 

Now I am so sensitized to reductions and even going slightly over makes me feel terrible and I just know that if I try and make ambitious cuts I will be back in the terror and panic and it's too much for me to handle. I know how bad withdrawal can get and I swear, when it's bad it's seriously frightening.

 

I could choose to bite the bullet and make bigger cuts but I think I would be an absolute mess and I don't really want to put anyone through that, I actually really wish I could lose these last mgs in hospital but my doctor says no.

 

I would rather be miserable for 2 years instead of in terror, I know suffering from this and it's no joke after being on it for decades.

 

My mind is clearer now, I may just see if I can talk to another doctor about this because the last one I saw, despite thinking I had done very well to get this far, simply wrote me 2 scripts, one for Lyrica and one for Mirtazepine, I don't want to take more drugs, so I did not cash the prescription.

 

What worries me more than anything is the duration I have been on, for all I know it could be dangerous to make bigger cuts after all the years I have been on this stuff, I don't want to go having any type of seizure getting off this junk and as for will power, very hard to go with the panic and terror when things get really crazy, if you are symptom free, you are extremely lucky, obviously my daily taper was the wrong route without holds, it is not surprising looking back that I was as ill as I was, I never allowed myself to stabilize and there I was thinking I was doing the most sensible taper going, I just accepted that I was as sick as I was because I have been on this for so long... I still think the daily taper is a good method but these days I think holds are essential to helping the brain adjust properly on the way down, without holds it is like just forcing the brain to adjust faster than it is capable of and as in my case, the result was that I crashed big time and because of that, I am now unlucky in as much as every tiny cut can tip me into a bad way again.

 

It might just be that I need to use a very long hold now to get used to the dose I am at and then carry on inching my way down, I am going to try that and if I keep hitting walls without making hardly any progress, well, then I think it will be time to get some help, it makes no sense to not even be able to lose 1 mg of Valium in a year, although that said, over on the TRAP taper page, there is a slow schedule to lose the last 2 mgs of Valium and it is for 17 months, so I cannot be the only one that is having difficulty in going faster, these slow schedules exist for a reason and in fact, I still think that a super slow method for long term users is the dafest way to go but the duration can, at times, be extremely hard to accept, much of the time I can roll with it but when I am unwell, I just think the whole thing is hopeless... but I hang in there and eventually something comes right but I am starting to feel like this is my life now but that said, many take a fair time to heal post taper and I have sort of given up the idea that there is any quick fix in this, some of us are just unlucky but I know the consequences of tapering too fast and I really don't want to risk going that route again, I would end up in hospital if I tried, my brain and even my body at this point would not be able to handle it.

[[cl...]]

You sound like me trying to explain to someone about my sensitive digestive system which is indeed tied to the CNS. I am glad you did not try Mirtazapine. That stuff SSRI did a number on me. I took it once and that is it. Others can tolerate the SSRI's and get relief but that is why they gave me Clonazepam in the first place. I couldn't tolerate Lexapro so I got Clon pills. Oscar, you are focusing alot on the duration and the sickness you feel but I would try just one aspect to work on that you feel sick from. I am holding right now and am not so dead set on the 10% every 10 to 14 days and I have only taken low dose for 3 years. For instance, when I sleep good I have a much better chance of being able to have a good day or a tolerable day. You are right. You can always ask for help (doctor) but look what they give you. I can't go to a doctor for IBS since they don't understand generally what you are going through, sound familiar?

[[os...]]

I have had a couple of days stabilizing and am on 1/2 of taper. If you have a large supply of pills, are you taking the oldest first like I was doing? I can tell the difference in pills that are one month newer. I am now taking the fresher ones because even on a taper the older ones were causing symptoms. I too am in a small struggle to see what happens after next cut. I don't have depression so I am grateful for that but I am not able to do the things I would like to do. Acceptance is a thing I have had to learn in all the areas I can't do things for the time being. BenzoGirl knows you pretty well and I agree with what she says because I needed to hear it too. My screen name reminds me why I came here. I have to be reminded especially when I think I should updose or some other nonsense that the drug will keep telling you. My windows happen sometimes by just being peaceful and thankful for just a short repose. I have had the clinical depression feelings and that is much harder to deal with since it feels like it won't go away.

 

Feel better soon cloniscrap, I think sometimes we just have to wait out a period of time for our brain to adjust to a lower dose, I hear you on the old pills but these drugs usually have quite a long shelf life, I think heat can affect them though and newer ones probably are a little more potent, enough to cause problems? Hmmm, maybe, it doesn't take much does it?

[[os...]]

You sound like me trying to explain to someone about my sensitive digestive system which is indeed tied to the CNS. I am glad you did not try Mirtazapine. That stuff SSRI did a number on me. I took it once and that is it. Others can tolerate the SSRI's and get relief but that is why they gave me Clonazepam in the first place. I couldn't tolerate Lexapro so I got Clon pills. Oscar, you are focusing alot on the duration and the sickness you feel but I would try just one aspect to work on that you feel sick from. I am holding right now and am not so dead set on the 10% every 10 to 14 days and I have only taken low dose for 3 years. For instance, when I sleep good I have a much better chance of being able to have a good day or a tolerable day. You are right. You can always ask for help (doctor) but look what they give you. I can't go to a doctor for IBS since they don't understand generally what you are going through, sound familiar?

 

The last doctor I saw gave me a prescription for Lyrica and Mirtazepine, I did not want either, I only went for some advice but instead I was diagnosed as a little bit bipolar... just ridiculous, I talked a lot at the appointment because it was private and I had a lot to say... mind you, that would have been quite a lot. 

[[cl...]]

To answer both posts. That sounds like the PCP who gave me Prednisone for what he thought was an allergy when all I had was a common flu virus. Actually, the fresher pills have caused less problems and I just kept the same dose I am currently tapered too. I am thinking the older pills (month older) were tapering me faster but this is how sensitive I am to these pills. It may change tomorrow but I stick with something if it is working better at the present time. See ya, Oscar.

[[be...]]

You sound like me trying to explain to someone about my sensitive digestive system which is indeed tied to the CNS. I am glad you did not try Mirtazapine. That stuff SSRI did a number on me. I took it once and that is it. Others can tolerate the SSRI's and get relief but that is why they gave me Clonazepam in the first place. I couldn't tolerate Lexapro so I got Clon pills. Oscar, you are focusing alot on the duration and the sickness you feel but I would try just one aspect to work on that you feel sick from. I am holding right now and am not so dead set on the 10% every 10 to 14 days and I have only taken low dose for 3 years. For instance, when I sleep good I have a much better chance of being able to have a good day or a tolerable day. You are right. You can always ask for help (doctor) but look what they give you. I can't go to a doctor for IBS since they don't understand generally what you are going through, sound familiar?

 

The last doctor I saw gave me a prescription for Lyrica and Mirtazepine, I did not want either, I only went for some advice but instead I was diagnosed as a little bit bipolar... just ridiculous, I talked a lot at the appointment because it was private and I had a lot to say... mind you, that would have been quite a lot. 

 

 

Oscar:

 

I forgot to ask you an important question. Is your pdoc benzo-wise? Does he understand how serious your troubles are? How often to you see him/her? I hope it's  not just a 10-minute quickie session. I have a very benzo-wise pdoc who I see for an hour every two weeks, even tho I feel good. I feel the need to see him just to re-assure myself that this party boat I am on is not going to dock. But me thinks it will dock sooner rather than later. But he says no, "You are just plain lucky. You should be a mess by now, Bets." That's b/c I was on 13 mg of Xanax for 10 years and another 10 mg of K for another 10 years. Plus I have two failed detoxes under my belt. I remember when you first started tapering, and you did so on a regular basis for more than 7 months. I don't understand what happened after that. I both can and cannot understand how you feel, b/c I have not experienced what you have been going thru. But I can understand, from reading your numerous posts in the past, that what you say is true. I just feel there is some evil force out there attacking your body/brain. Since I joined BB, I have never seen anyone going thru what you are going thru. So if you don't think you can drop by a small amount every two or three weeks, then don't. But I suggest you see your doctor for an hour session on a regular basis. Just don't use him/her for scripts only. You really need to talk this thing out with a live hands on expert. If he is stupid and just calls you bipolar, that's just an excuse to explain the reason you have been feeling as bad as you do for such a long period of time. If you aren't comfortable with him, then just drop kick him and find another one. This forum can only do so much. But I just feel at this point that you are at the end of your rope, and prolonging things will just make you feel worse. Hang in there. I know how bad it is for you, but some day, some how, it will end and you'll finally be benzo free. What a success story you can write then! BTW Cloniscrap, Remeron is not an SSRi ~~~ Bets

[[os...]]

 

 

Bets, thank you. I tapered so fast I was very ill, paranoid of the TV, had bad depersonalization, could not sit in a bath as it stimulated me too much... looking back, much of it was as if I CT'ed almost and yet when the proverbial s**t truly hit the fan, JEEZ that was the scariest time of my entire life and I am always scared to go back there... so yes, I was a mess, I crashed big time and now I have a fear of the bad stuff happening again.

 

I obviously AM super sensitive as last year, there was a time when my legs started vibrating, then one morning I woke up and my legs were vibrating very violently, I went to the bathroom and I sat down on the toilet seat and I could also see tics under the skin on my arms, they were twitching and my heart rate was incredibly fast, I felt panic wash over me and I swear I felt like I was going to die right there on the toilet, I felt terrible, I stood up and looked in the mirror and I had a tic under my left eye, I was a vibrating, twitching mess and it was then that I called my doctor and I told him of the palps and the vibrations and he told me to go back a little and hold and he prescribed me 10 mg propranolol and they have really helped.

 

My legs continued to vibrate and it would vary in intensity but it never got as bad as that morning, my legs stopped vibrating a good 4-5 months ago but started again 2 days ago but this does not stress me out any more... I just ignore it and yet I know it is an indicator to take things easy for awhile... it's when the vibrations get more intense and start to spread is when things get a little scary... I know that the vibrations in my legs will slow down and eventually stop again... of course all these things are brought on by anxiety,.. but that morning in the bathroom, that was hardcore withdrawals, it was pretty frightening... it was not a nice experience at all, I don't see many here writing of that kind of thing happening... or maybe a lot do have these extreme bodily symptoms but don't say much about them... but yeah, I have had a hard withdrawal so far for sure, agitation, paranoia, panic, terror and tons of other symptoms but I understand many have these but it was the CT like experience that really got me scared of this now... If I made a bigger cut now and had the terror and big ass panic attacks, I would more likely know what was happening, the last time I just thought I was going crazy... it sure felt like I was losing my mind for awhile... and the terror before I could never describe... it was just the worst feeling ever and I was and still am quite traumatized by that experience.

 

[[be...]]

 

 

Bets, thank you. I tapered so fast I was very ill, paranoid of the TV, had bad depersonalization, could not sit in a bath as it stimulated me too much... looking back, much of it was as if I CT'ed almost and yet when the proverbial s**t truly hit the fan, JEEZ that was the scariest time of my entire life and I am always scared to go back there... so yes, I was a mess, I crashed big time and now I have a fear of the bad stuff happening again.

 

I obviously AM super sensitive as last year, there was a time when my legs started vibrating, then one morning I woke up and my legs were vibrating very violently, I went to the bathroom and I sat down on the toilet seat and I could also see tics under the skin on my arms, they were twitching and my heart rate was incredibly fast, I felt panic wash over me and I swear I felt like I was going to die right there on the toilet, I felt terrible, I stood up and looked in the mirror and I had a tic under my left eye, I was a vibrating, twitching mess and it was then that I called my doctor and I told him of the palps and the vibrations and he told me to go back a little and hold and he prescribed me 10 mg propranolol and they have really helped.

 

My legs continued to vibrate and it would vary in intensity but it never got as bad as that morning, my legs stopped vibrating a good 4-5 months ago but started again 2 days ago but this does not stress me out any more... I just ignore it and yet I know it is an indicator to take things easy for awhile... it's when the vibrations get more intense and start to spread is when things get a little scary... I know that the vibrations in my legs will slow down and eventually stop again... of course all these things are brought on by anxiety,.. but that morning in the bathroom, that was hardcore withdrawals, it was pretty frightening... it was not a nice experience at all, I don't see many here writing of that kind of thing happening... or maybe a lot do have these extreme bodily symptoms but don't say much about them... but yeah, I have had a hard withdrawal so far for sure, agitation, paranoia, panic, terror and tons of other symptoms but I understand many have these but it was the CT like experience that really got me scared of this now... If I made a bigger cut now and had the terror and big ass panic attacks, I would more likely know what was happening, the last time I just thought I was going crazy... it sure felt like I was losing my mind for awhile... and the terror before I could never describe... it was just the worst feeling ever and I was and still am quite traumatized by that experience.

 

Oscar:

 

You still didn't tell me about your doc and your visits with him and how they went and how often you go....If you are doing this all alone (do you have a wife??), it would be like someone taking you into a dungeon, tying you with chains, and just closing the door on you. ` Bets

[[os...]]

 

I am in touch with a doctor friend by phone but I don't call him really, I have a few times but what can he say? What can any doctors do about this really? All they do is offer more drugs of which I don't really want to go that route...

 

I saw a new doctor last year but he just gave me Lyrica and Mirtazepine scripts which I threw away as I have said before but at this stage, I could do with talking to someone on a regular basis about this but that costs money.

 

I think at this point I have become a very reluctant taperer, this is not just out of fear of what may happen, I genuinely get bad symptoms very easily and so I have to go real slow, would not have been so bad had I been down to 2 mgs or even better at 1 mg as I would have known that even going super slow at that dose, I would get there eventually, still, I guess in time I will get down to 2 mgs and I think by that time much of this mental stuff should have lifted... I can't personally see the mental stuff being this bad at 2 mgs and below... if it is, then basically a slow taper is a complete waste of time and I will do all I can to get off the rest far sooner, for now I am still giving the super slow till 2 mg method a chance and I will tell you why... If someone (like myself) tapers from a higher dose down to 2 mgs over a 5 year period, there simply has to be healing on the way down, even protracted people that CT'ed often heal in 3.5 to 4 years... so take me as example, tapering for 5 years to reach 2 mgs, if there has not been some solid change in the mental symptoms in all that time, it will just go to show how a slow taper is not worth it, I am not saying I think i will be healed by that dose but much of the anxiety and derealization should have cleared up as I am positive that a lot of our GABA receptors wakee up over a 4-5 year period, of course COMPLETE healing cannot happen until off (obviously) BUT much of the symptoms should have faded or left altogether, operating on 2 mgs Valium is a lot different to 12 mg, or 20 mgs or 40 mgs etc... it only stand to reason that when we are at such a small dose, the brain has to start working harder in place of the drug that has been lost... If I stick at this slowly, there may even be a chance that the last 2 mgs will be much easier than the rest of my taper... it could happen, not saying it will but it could happen,

 

I am also of the opinion that to cut a little faster from 2 mgs is probably less problematic than starting to cut more from above that dose... but I will only attempt this if I am feel that the bad stuff is more manageable... it could be even harder for all I know but I hope that will not be the case for me, for well over a year now, my gut feeling has always been that this will start to get better at 2 mgs and not before... any improvement would really be a boost to get the rest of this done... even I think tapering faster from that dose is doable... maybe uncomfortable but doable and I think my brain will be adjusted enough to taper off the rest at a faster pace.