What does "100% healed" really mean?....

[[li...]]

Once we heal are we able to be at a high enough level of healing that we can re-enter the business or whatever world we came from and be able to endure as much stress as we did before? The reason why I ask this is because I do not see allot of people who have healed saying ....."Yes I am healed and able to cope at this or that high level"... It is more ...." I have healed and am adjusting to a lower less stressful lifestyle". I only ask because in waves I get frozen in fear right now with a general anxiety of doing anything and wonder if I will ever get fully functioning again? I am no longer functional at anywhere near the level I used to ( although in windows I do get close). I am concerned that my functioning level may not return because I am 11 months out and still stuck in fear while in waves. Can anyone healed help me better understand what healing means to you?

 

Life

[Guest [ba...]]

There's no 'official' definition.  For me, being 100% healed will mean that I'm 100% satisfied with where I am.  I think that I'm 80-something percent there now, so I'm getting close.

[[li...]]

Are there any other people out there that are older in the process that can shed light on my question? How functional do we get? Are we able to be as functional as when we were on benzos?

[[Bi...]]

baseline reached  (happiness)

[[li...]]

What does healing mean to you and have you achieved it? Just for a bump.

[[Fl...]]

I haven't achieved healing and I'm not even sure exactly what that is but I do know that I am getting closer every day.

[[lo...]]

Hello there

 

I imagine it means different things to different people.

 

I felt very unwell on benzos so I very much hope to function better than I did prior to withdrawal.

 

How well, I have no idea.  I know that I am no longer depressed so that is 120% healing. (Was on benzos & depressed for 40 years). Everything else is a "work in progress". I hope to get my physical and cognitive functioning back to at least pre withdrawal levels. However, without depression dragging me down I might function better than I have done for years.

 

I am sure many  buddies get back to their pre benzo selves but many will  probably have left the forum before they reach that stage. They will be too busy living their lives again.

 

I hope I will too.

 

LF 

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

to me it would mean that i would no longer have to think of valium in any way, shape or form..... but even after benzos, there will always be 'fight or flight.' without some kind of stress in our lives we would die....

 

in addition, i'll know i'm healed when i can eat high glutamate foods again (cashews-oatmeal-beans-cheeses-wheat) without that pins and needles feeling from head to toe.

[[Wi...]]

I think it's important not to expect to be the same as we were on benzos.  Benzos provided a false sense of well being, at least for a time.   

 

I think healing is a spectrum thing.  There are people who after a time appear to no longer have any issues as a result of w/d.  Then there is the other end of the spectrum where people have serious challenges for a good time after w/d.  And then there is everyone in between.

 

For me, I'm just over a year out.  My most enduring symptoms still include really bad mornings, angst especially under stress.  And under stress other symptoms reappear, like agitation, akathesia, insomnia, hyperacusis etc.  I'm significantly more functional than I was but am hoping this is not where it ends.

 

So for me, since I'm expecting that stress will always be my kryptonite to some degree, I'm not really looking at 100% healed.  I'm just looking for good enough.

 

WWWI

[[li...]]

Have others that have healed returned to highly functional states that permit for stress to be an element without having to be overwhelmed?

 

Life

[[La...]]

Are there any other people out there that are older in the process that can shed light on my question? How functional do we get? Are we able to be as functional as when we were on benzos?

 

To be quite honest, I was very dysfunctional on benzos. At this point, 7+ months off benzos, I am highly functional but not 100%. The further out I get, the less I think I really know what 100% healed is. I mean, what baseline are we comparing ourselves to (to quantify healing)? Our state just pre-benzo? Our state 2 years pre-benzo? Ability to cope with stress and anxiety is so fluid, I'm no longer sure I can estimate my healing, north of 90%. The distinctions are just too fine. I can say with confidence that I cant drink alcohol. Does that make me less than 100% healed?

 

laser

[[Fl...]]

I think it's important not to expect to be the same as we were on benzos.  Benzos provided a false sense of well being, at least for a time.   

 

I will say that benzos did "help" me to an extent while I was on them but they didn't make me a better person. Ideally I would like to be closer to the person I was pre benzo.

[Guest [ba...]]

Have others that have healed returned to highly functional states that permit for stress to be an element without having to be overwhelmed?

 

I don't claim to be at 100%, but I'm pretty close.  I've spent the past week in China and have been in taxis and cars (and been a pedestrian) on some of the craziest streets one could ever imagine.  And I have been calm.  Historically, I have been the quintessential back seat driver, so this calmness is really new to me.  I think it's a very positive sign that I'm over the chemical anxiety, and that I am really making headway dealing with my 'natural' anxiety.

 

I've made it no secret that I think a healed state (for me) means that I'm able to take alcohol or medicines or foods (e.g. msg) that a 'normal' person can take without getting all revved up.  The drinking came a couple of months ago, and now I've handled a week of Chinese foods (delicious, btw) that were often crazy spicy without any noticeable problems.  I've been on antibiotics all week (z-pak), and they haven't caused me any problems either. 

 

So from a psychological and chemical perspective, I'd say that I'm very nearly at 100%.  Insomnia remains an issue as does tinnitus, but the former was a problem for me before I started benzos, so I don't feel any worse off in that respect than in my pre-benzo days.  Difficult to know about the tinnitus.  Might be natural for me and possibly the benzo (and/or the neurontin) was quieting it.  My energy levels are back up to a good place, and my productivity has returned to normal.  Still get itchy sometimes and maybe my clarity is down a bit from 7 years ago, but hey, I'm 7 years older and that might just be the way it gets for me.

 

So yes, I think it's possible to become fully functional with time and some work (which for me also included therapy).

[[li...]]

wow this is the types of answers that I was looking for and they give me hope that I can become a normal functioning person in society again. This is awesome. Usually I just got answers like " Well I have learned to deal with less stress"... Thank you all!

 

LIfe

[[Di...]]

I think it's a very difficult question to answer really, because everyone's definition of "stress" is going to be different. Some people absolutely thrive on stress, other people don't. Basically I think that if you had trouble coping with a particular stress level before benzos, and that was possibly the reason you started taking a benzo, then I think it's unrealistic to think that you will be able to magically cope with that same level of stress after you have tapered the benzo, unless of course you put other coping mechanisms into place.

 

You asked if you would "be able to endure as much stress as we did before". That really depends in what your level of stress was before, and if that was what caused you to start taking a benzo. If it did, then you weren't really enduring that stress at all. If you had a stressful life before benzos, then perhaps you do need to learn to cope with less stress, otherwise you may just end up back on the benzo bandwagon again.

[[li...]]

Diaz, you are right that many of us did much more than what we we up to doing "stress wise" due to the benzos...we can not all of the sudden just say we are going to do everything we did while on benzos... That makes sense... I just don't want to have a feeling of being raw to the nerve every day of my existence... That would not be good...

 

Life

[[Si...]]

I'm feeling around 90-95% most of the time these days. I'm at 4 months off from c/t'ing Lorazepam. I wasn't on it long (5 weeks really). My symptoms were horrible for the first two months. Gradually things have gotten better (with waves getting less and less powerful). Now my worst symptoms are still some mild head stuff and numbness twitching in my left arm and left leg. I occasionally have a near sleepless night. It's usually caused by eating something I shouldn't have, or drinking a bunch of beer. I only got two hours last night, but that was mainly because I had a cold for last three days and took NyQuil each night. I was feeling better last night so I didn't take any and it caused some very minor head buzzing. Once these minor waves totally disappear after doing one of these things I "shouldn't" do, then I will feel like I'm 100%.