How do you know when u are getting better?

[[Je...]]

This may seem like a silly question, but I'm serious.  My symptoms wax and wane for no apparent reason.  One morning I might feel more depressed, the next, more anxious or agitated.

 

Typically the symptoms diminish in the evenings and sometimes I feel almost normal.

 

Mornings are tough, with the AM grogginess and some anxiety thrown in there.

 

But seriously, how do I tell when/if I'm getting better?  What to look for?  How will I know that I'm getting back to "me"?  A me that I don't really remember what was like....

 

What do you look for, or what was it like?  A gradual process or do you wake up one morning feeling great?

 

Personally, I think. I'm getting better.  My depression isn't as intense.  My anxiety isn't as intense....the oscillations don't seem to be as intense...  but how do I know?

 

Is recovery three steps forward....two steps back and so forth?  I just want to get back to the strong

confident motivated man that I was and I don't know how to do it... 

 

I'd appreciate your thoughts. 

[[be...]]

I think you'll know it when you get there. You are still in w/d. From what I have read here, people who see a lot of brightness and color seem to be well on their way to healing 100%.  Bets

[[Je...]]

I want to hear people's experiences....

[[La...]]

Your main priority while tapering should be to get to 0.0mg of drug. You may or may not feel better as you get lower in dose, many do, but not everyone. Once you jump, then you can begin to ask that question of whether or not you are getting better. At that point, the subjective distortions will certainly hijack your mind, and you will be asking the question "Am I getting better?" It will be hard to tell living in the moment. But if you look historically at your time spent in waves versus windows you will note the following changes that, in part, define healing:

 

1) Waves will come less frequently

2) Waves will be shorter in duration

3) Waves will be less severe in sxs

 

Looking back historically (post jump), these patterns will be obvious so long as one uses a long enough time scale to make the judgement (e.g. dont just look at the last week or two).

 

Focus on your taper, get to zero first. If you happen to feel better as you hone in on zero, great. If not, thats ok too. You will get  better in post-jump territory. Good luck jerry!

[[...]]

Jerry, I had few windows (if any) during my taper, but I did it very quickly.

 

My first real window was about 2 months after I quit! I have had gradual improvement, if I look back month to month, having a 14 day window the end of month 4 beginning of month 5!

 

You will see you are improving after you jump, and look back!