Just stabbed myself in the arm with a pen

[[Ja...]]

Among other crazy shit I did this morning, nothing serious, had no idea what I was doing I was so out of control, also dumped a whole glass of water on my head. Worse than ever at 82 days out. Fear the psychiatric hospital is in my near future.

[[ma...]]

Among other crazy shit I did this morning, nothing serious, had no idea what I was doing I was so out of control, also dumped a whole glass of water on my head. Worse than ever at 82 days out. Fear the psychiatric hospital is in my near future.

 

I did too Jack, I know its hard, believe me I know.  When you come out of this you will be so appreciative of your life, you'll never take it for granted again.  All you can do is take it one day at a time or even hour by hour at a time.   

 

Keep getting up doing what you can to get through the day, it will change, with a bit more time.

 

Magrita  

[[Ga...]]

hi jack

 

sometimes i think we need to just laugh. like my new sc for about two mo is when i lay down my arm goes numb. i woke up one am and something big slapped my face i kept thinking wow that was big what was it...i realized it was my hand from my numb flopping around arm

 

yes, try to keep distracted and mind busy.

[[Ja...]]

Thanks guys. 

[[pr...]]

gard,

 

when i was lying down during the acute stage like jack is, my hand would come up to my face really fast and in an involuntary way and my nail would scratch my face. i had major scratches on my face so i keep my nails really short now even though that doesn't happen anymore. it was so severe too.

[[Ra...]]

I know exactly how you feel jack. I am not doing so great myself. I mean the anxiety has gone almost completely, but the intrusive thoughts are still there and I am shaking, twitching, have dp and dr, memory problems, concentration problems, pain in my ankles, knees, wrists, thighs, chest, back, throat, head, strange sensations in my body like I am being probed by an alien or something. I don't really care about the pain or physical sensations too much it's just the mental stuff that really annoys me. I am in hardcore distraction mode today, I just went on the bus to town and I'm going to go get my jacket zip repaired, go to town and look for a screwdriver for my iphone and then probably get a train to my psychiatrist. How's your anxiety jack?

[Guest [Mi...]]

Jack, hang in there. I've had so many symptoms of psychosis, I know I'd go from a bipolar diagnosis to a schizophrenia or schizo-affective diagnosis in a heartbeat!

 

Wow, so many perceptual disturbances, hallucinations, feelings of dp/dr that have gone on for months and months. . . .

 

It's hard to have a sense of humor about it, but sometimes I just have to laugh at this very bizarre head trip.

 

Throughout all of this, you've had so much optimism mixed in with some frightening symptoms. Really hope you feel better soon, buddy. 

[[Ja...]]

I know exactly how you feel jack. I am not doing so great myself. I mean the anxiety has gone almost completely, but the intrusive thoughts are still there and I am shaking, twitching, have dp and dr, memory problems, concentration problems, pain in my ankles, knees, wrists, thighs, chest, back, throat, head, strange sensations in my body like I am being probed by an alien or something. I don't really care about the pain or physical sensations too much it's just the mental stuff that really annoys me. I am in hardcore distraction mode today, I just went on the bus to town and I'm going to go get my jacket zip repaired, go to town and look for a screwdriver for my iphone and then probably get a train to my psychiatrist. How's your anxiety jack?

 

Anxiety is by far my worst issue now, Up and down. Yesterday it was unreally bad, today not so bad. IStress is killer, no shortage of that. Some physical stuff too but not that bad. I can't wait for the anxiety to go.....hang in there my friend.

[[Ja...]]

Jack, hang in there. I've had so many symptoms of psychosis, I know I'd go from a bipolar diagnosis to a schizophrenia or schizo-affective diagnosis in a heartbeat!

 

Wow, so many perceptual disturbances, hallucinations, feelings of dp/dr that have gone on for months and months. . . .

 

It's hard to have a sense of humor about it, but sometimes I just have to laugh at this very bizarre head trip.

 

Throughout all of this, you've had so much optimism mixed in with some frightening symptoms. Really hope you feel better soon, buddy. 

 

Thanks a ton, you too. Mentsl stuff is terrible.

[[Ra...]]

I wish I could help you overcome your anxiety man. What helped me was taking long walks, or short whatever you feel like. Lots of positive self confirmation, deep relaxation (even if you are anxious it helps well it helped me). Staying in the situation and just letting it happen instead of fighting it. I also changed my diet and did a lot of exercise. The anxiety is gone. I hope maybe some of my techniques can help you. If you want more help send me a private message. Be strong jack.

[[Ja...]]

Thanks R. I've walked at least two miles a day since this all started, does help. Lots of,demons in my past, bad family stuff, it's all hitting so much harder now, wasn't a day I didn't  think about that stuff before benzos, just so much more intrusive now. I'm basically cut off from all family for complicated reasons, it's always been hard to deal with, but unbearable now.

[Guest [Mi...]]

I can't handle any relatives right now, Jack. Perhaps after we heal it will be different. I also come from bad family stuff, and I'm nowhere near emotionally able to deal with that type of toxic vibe.

 

Surround yourself with people who care. Sounds like you've got a great wife and that means a lot.

 

Once we heal, I think everything will look much different. Be well. 

[[Ja...]]

Thanks Mind, backatcha.

[[Ra...]]

This benzo w/d thing is a very PERSONAL experience. For me I do not have any family problems so I cannot relate to you on that jack. My fears have always been about losing control or not being in control. I have noticed that the diazepam suppressed a lot of my emotions and found that I would randomly remember pets that have died whilst I was on benzos or I would remember friends and I would start crying like a baby and getting very angry. I was so angry a few days ago about the loss of one of my pets I wanted to punch and kick a brick wall I had a very strong urge to do so. The intrusive thoughts, be it about relatives or other fears I think they are there for a reason and it is something we have to deal with. Perhaps it's a damaged brain sometimes, the intrusive memories where something will pop into your mind and you're like wtf, why am I remembering this? That has to be something physical, elevated anxiety levels probably do not help with intrusive psychological fears. We'll get over this jack. We WILL recover.

[[Sv...]]

Just try to live 15 minutes at a time. Practise mindfulness. Do tension/relaxation exercises. Breathing exercises. Anything to distract yourself.