from the bottom of my heart. just barely holding on.

[[do...]]

everybody I sound like a broken record. the mental anguish is just too much guys. a lot of people have said to relax to have positive thoughts to eat healthy.. I have the eating healthy part down but I don't know how to relax and I don't know how to stay positive..

 

am I missing something here?

 

am I the worst case out there I'm unable to be positive or relax.

 

I'm just numb like an empty shell and have no idea who I am nor can I remember who I was a very good memory perhaps.

 

I've got thoughts flinging to and fro from every direction. not to mention at the same time memories popup twisted thoughts and even some type of strange sexual thoughts or what have you.

plus all the strange emotions and strange perceptions.

thinking people hate me and I'm not like a bull etcetera etc

 

and endure that I've done something wrong. all the while in fear in my brain is in a vice grip

 

trying to see a positive future for myself is impossible right now

 

I even feel like God is out to get me.

 

help please

[Guest [in...]]

Dolphins1

 

I am so very sorry for what you are going through.

 

I can only tell you that I went through abrupt withdrawal 3 years ago, and it was absolutely the most horrible thing I have ever

experienced in my life.    The numbness, disconnected thoughts, poor memory, paranoia, guilt, fear, depression - I felt all of that.

Every single thing you described.    You are not alone.    You are not the worst case.   

 

For me, I had to focus one day at a time.  If I attempted to go beyond that, it was overwhelming.

Please try to take a deep breath right now.    Please know that others do care about you.  Know that you WILL get through this.

 

I think you are doing something very positive for yourself by expressing yourself and reaching out to those here who can help you.

 

Please try to take a deep breath and know that you will get through this. 

You will.      We are much stronger than we usually give ourselves credit.   

 

I wish you well, and I know others feel the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest [in...]]

You are an extremely articulate, insightful, caring and sensitive person.

 

I'm trying to "find my way home" so to speak.    Perhaps, many others here are trying to do the same.

 

I care about your pain, and I know others do, too.

 

Please know what a special person you are.

 

This is written from my heart.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ma...]]

Hi Dolphins  

 

Benzo withdrawal Is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  its especially unbearable in the early weeks when the body is crying out for the drug.  You have got to keep reminding yourself its not forever!  It will change and it will get better. I didn't think of the future, it was too overwhelming to look at the bigger picture. I took it hour by hour and kept reminding myself that its temporary!  You can do this, Insomniac is right...we are stronger than we think we are!! I personally think we are all heroes!

 

We are with you D, your going to get through this believe me. You will be so glad you did it!!

 

Magrita

[[Mo...]]

Hi dolphins,

At the time i was in acute stage as you are now, i'd done a lot of research

and realized it was part of the game.

those thoughts are terrible, i used to talk against them, like...... NOT WITH ME MATE,

these are not my thoughts, you stupid poison can't destroy me, i'm fighting against you.

 

it seemed to work for an hour or so, then they came back and i repeated it all over.....

for a couple of months. then one day i realized they were gone for good.

 

Keep going D, you can push through this crap as well.

by the way ......we all deserve a Medal, a BIG ONE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Mo...]]

I found this, hope it helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g1MK9OhLkg&list=UUuffCDqJnizAVVWhvHQXOLg

[[do...]]

Insom,margarita, moor,walk t

 

Thank you so much for the dialog!

 

I sleep a lot. Is that ok?

 

I don't do much during the day, but walk to beach and look at ocean.

 

My dear friend has moved in with me and does all the chores.

 

I then go to work.

 

I meditate and twice a week I go for neurofeedback.

 

That is my life right now.

 

We may go to a movie now and then..

 

Insecurity at all time high.

 

I am looking for some inner peace and to feel life again.

 

Living in the moment is impossible.

 

I am fragmented and have lost touch with spirit, god, friends, life, love, joy and all the good stuff

[[Cr...]]

I just want to say I jumped July 11 and I have been in pure hell. I'm

Crying as I type because I can't take anymore. I have constant anxiety about being sick. My thoughts race from one disease to infection to "should I go to the ER" health anxiety and fear of death are my worst mental symptoms. I take a slow walk on a sunny day but can't stop obsessing about something being wrong. Then whatever issue I'm obsessing about (my back for example) will start hurting as I work into an anxiety attack.  I too eat very healthy since Jan 2014, I don't smoke or drink. I exercise, do yoga, pray and since the jump I don't even eat sugar. I feel abandoned by God, I pray beg for some relief but my brain just keeps racing. At this point I'm in a state of shock since my jump, I never imagined things would be this bad. I'm sorry I can't be more uplifting but I want you to know you are not alone.

[[Mo...]]

Insom,margarita, moor,walk t

 

Thank you so much for the dialog!

 

I sleep a lot. Is that ok?

 

I don't do much during the day, but walk to beach and look at ocean.

 

My dear friend has moved in with me and does all the chores.

I then go to work.

 

I meditate and twice a week I go for neurofeedback.

 

That is my life right now.

 

We may go to a movie now and then..

 

Insecurity at all time high.

 

I am looking for some inner peace and to feel life again.

 

Living in the moment is impossible.

 

I am fragmented and have lost touch with spirit, god, friends, life, love, joy and all the good stuff

 

Hi again D , i think sleeping a lot is good. the CNS needs to heal and this happens a lot

during sleep. you will get your life back, your inner peace ,

its just a matter of time.

 

[[Co...]]

Sadly I've found that nothing helps me except distraction. For me that's tv for the most part. Lately it's been doing something around the house. Eating healthy is gonna help some but it's definitely not a cure. We have to eat so it may as well be healthy. The things that have helped me was no exercise, no supplements and no junk food. Those all made me worse. Time is the only thing that heals us and it can take a really long time. Hope you pull out of this soon.