Big wave. Speech problems etc

[[ab...]]

Got hit by a big wave this week. Been on a very strict diet living on fruits, veggies, alot of fish, avocado, high proteins and berries. I had two weeks before this one that's been fairly OK. Got so tired of never getting better that I introduced som lightly salted potato chips, also had two meals including fried foods, don't know if that's what set this off?

 

Along with not getting better I've been so tired of feeling like I'm living in a prison. Before I eat anything I check on BB if that's "OK". If I have a reaction to any food I instantly check on BB if I could have eaten anything that set symptoms off. I've cut caffeine and alcohol of course. I quit smoking one week after taking the jump. I eat no sugar. Love nuts, especially almonds, but cut those too 2 weeks ago after waking up with a lot of anxiety after eating a lot of them the night before, and finding out that they are high in glutamate. I was trying to do some travel, visit friends or even my dad at the first month out but after I had some bad experiences there, I gave up all of that. Now I go to work, and I go home. Moving from point A to B. Fighting to get by.

And I try to hang out with my work buddies, but it's hard. We were out for dinner today for example, I was drinking water, eating salad while dealing with the symptoms and trying to be relaxed and socialize at the same time.. to land on the moon all of a sudden don't seem like that big of an achievement.

 

So while feel like living in prison not being able to eat, drink or do anything. And at the same time dealing with all the symptoms. Not seeing anybody other than at work, alone always. Being 23 years old where drinking, partying and girls been my number 1 interest for the last couple of years. Trying to fight this battle all of my own. Lost so many friends without being able to do anything about it. Not being able to plan anything in the future.

People, it feels like I'm losing my mind for real. It feels like I'm living in this benzo fighting world that is apart from the real world where everybody living their normal lives. I'm just scared I'm gonna get stuck here for real, lose more and more sanity.

 

This weeks symptoms, if they really are symptoms, are BAD depression - everything is so pitch black. High anxiety and social anxiety, especially around friends. Problem with speech - so nervous on what to say, my voice seems so weak and it feels like the anxiety is pressing on my throat - making it impossible to speak. I also have big problems with moving. If I'm gonna pack my bag or pick up something in front of someone - I can't just do it naturally. I feel so uncomfortable and uneasy. Paranoid. Fear for everything. And as I've been for the last 6 months, detached. I hate DP/DR. Don't know where I begin anymore. Don't know how I used to be before I taper or how I lived so naturally.

F****k, I'm so tired of this

[Guest [ba...]]

I'm sorry that you're feeling 'detached'.  The symptoms you describe seem pretty common for benzo withdrawal to me.  You tapered very rapidly after having some difficulties previously.  Some symptoms might be expected.  Hopefully, you can push through this.  I realize that some activities will feel weird/unnatural.  It will get better.

 

Has the strict diet been working for you?  I cut out alcohol and high doses of sugar, but that's about all. 

[[Ro...]]

Hi there abettertomorrow.

 

It has been a long time since you posted this. I was wondering how you got on? if you have a success story please reply to this and let us know that you recovered. I trust you are well. Take care.

 

Regards,

Ross