High-dosage Klonopin sub-taper with Valium ~ HELP!!

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Hello, all.  So I wasn't able to post my meds/dosages the other night, but computer is FINALLY cooperating and am back again. Anyhow, my meds/dosages currently are...

 

Cymbalta ~ 120 mg (60 morn/60 night)

Klonopin ~ 3mg (1 morn/1 afternoon/1 night)

Valium ~ 100mg (30/30/40)

 

So... As I wrote before, I started this substitution taper from Klonopin with Valium 9 months ago.  Have been on Cymbalta 8 years now (lower dosage beginning, but at current for over a year).  Klonopin was first prescribed after 2 years on Xanax, when I became so anxious/sick, I got down to 93 lbs (no eating disorder, just anxiety) & was switched to Klonopin because doc said it was longer acting.  I started at 1 mg, 3 times per day, and 15 years, doc got me up to 6 mg (2 mg, 3 times per day).  But I was tired of being dependent & just NOT feeling anything but worse, I made my own decision to quit cold turkey 5 years ago (worst idea EVER, I know!!) and was put in detox after severe withdrawals set in.  Lost feeling in legs, hair started falling out, and just about everything horrible thing you can imagine.  NIGHTMARE.  But detox sent me home after 4 days saying I would be fine.  Ha.  Was off 3 weeks as symptoms got worse and worse and worse.  It was scariest thing I had ever experienced, so...

 

After feeling seriously suicidal for first time in my life, my (then) doctor put me back on it.  And it's just been doing the same.  Lack of energy, motivation; I didn't even feel alive anymore. So, I did tons of research and found FANTASTIC doctor to work with me ~ which was not easy where I live ~ using the Ashton manual/protocol.  She's been very supportive, but I'm feeling so terrible right now...and as she was new to this protocol (though she's very capable & compassionate ~ I really lucked out there, I know), I'm just wondering if she started me on too high of dosage of Valium.  I started at 6 mg of Klonopin and am now down to 3 ~ which is GREAT ~ but the Valium has been at 110 mg (last week lowered to 100) for SO long now, I'm concerned about the dosage and length thereof...wondering if that could just be making it worse.  That I'm too dependent on Valium...that it's too high... and will have harder time coming off of it.  I know we're 9 months in & this is a little late to be asking the question but...I'm just feeling SO awful.  Anyway...

 

She has other patients with whom she's begun this protocol (I joke with her about owing me some serious $$$, as I'm the one who introduced her to it, lol) and says it's been very successful with them, but they were on much lower dosages for shorter periods of time.  Not that it's been easy for them ~ no idea, of course.  And everyone is different.  Still, she says mine is highest she's dealt with and I just wonder if she ~ as well-meaning and intelligent as she is ~ still started me too high on Valium.  I've yet to see anyone taking such a high dosage during a sub taper.  And my physical symptoms are more about horrible burning muscles/joints and DEBILITATING fatigue than anxiety now.  So, just looking for anyone here who could know.  And everywhere I've looked, the Ashton chart for Klonpopin (Clonazepam) only goes as high as 3mg starting, and as I wrote, I was starting at double that.  So it might just be possible she/we got the math wrong??  Any help/ info would be most greatly appreciated.

[[al...]]

I hope someone with more knowledge regarding your specific challenge/question will help out; in the meantime, I just wanted to encourage you to keep asking/researching. There are general rules of thumb re: Ashton, but we all have different metabolism/biochemistry ETC., so sometimes listening to your 'gut' is best. (I've ignored mine, and paid for it.)

 

Even docs who are willing to cooperate and help with Ashton sometimes seem to have pretty wild interpretations of her charts. For now, try to chill; if you're stable where you're at, don't do anything drastic till you feel more confident of the proposed schedule...or tweak things more, after some advice/support.

 

Everyone on here goes through stages of and mini-crisis', so you're not alone in that regard. I really wish I could be of more practical help, but I wish you all the best .

[[sl...]]

 

 

Thank you for your reply, Allie.  I DO feel in my gut it was/is too much of Valium, but I guess I will just have to speak to my doc about it.  As I wrote in my introduction the other day, she is new to this protocol as well and that leaves me with questions.  I'm just so overwhelmed with fatigue, and I have a mother who's 30 years in with Multiple Sclerosis and just diagnosed with rapidly progressing dementia, and a father battling prostate cancer.  So maybe you can understand my concern re time.  I honestly don't know how much I have left with either of them.

 

My mother is my best friend...and while my father and I aren't as close, I love him dearly.  So, knowing they're both so sick and being unable to do little more than get out of bed every day, well...it's taking a toll.  Lots of grief.  I just want the energy to be able to be there for them NOW ~ not stuck in bed with this constant fatigue and pain.  After nine months, well...I know the taper is rough under the best of circumstances, but with so much sadness, it's pretty overwhelming.  Just needing support.  So thank you again for your reply. 

 

~Surely