I'm done

[[sa...]]

Can't fight this anymore. Don't want to go inpatient since that just means more drugs. Feel trapped and hopeless. Want to give up. Life is over.  Hate what psychiatry has done to me.

[[Ch...]]

Sometimes it's a minute at a time, Satch.  You can do this… pace, breathe, self-talk.

What works for you?  What distractions do you try?

 

[[sa...]]

I am so tired of just surviving and suffering. I know I have to try and get through every moment. Just see no end in sight the horror. I'm ready to just give up. No one in my life can grasp this agony. Use suggestions that would work if I wasn't brain damaged. I'm done.

[[be...]]

I know you have been struggling lately satch. What do you mean by done satch?

[[ea...]]

Satch,

I am concerned about you. Please - if you are considering reinstatement, or something even worse - please don't. Perhaps you have just hit one of those famous rough patches. Perhaps if you hang on a bit longer, things will turn around.

Few of us had anyone in our lives who truly understood. That's one of the worst things about this, I think. We can feel so alone. But that is what this forum is for - support by people who DO know, and aren't going to judge you.

Please let us know you are okay.

east

[[sa...]]

I'm hanging in there. Sort of. I'm honestly at my end. Tired of fighting for a life that is destroyed by a pill. I feel I'm getting worse. Don't see any hope. Any light at the end of this tunnel. Just want a chance at life. Feel so destroyed and handicapped.  Please keep the reassurance coming. Struggle to see the point.

[[me...]]

Hugs!

Have you tested for adrenal fatigue???

I'm low cortisol all day and a lot prob has to do with being on benzos.

[[pr...]]

I'm in the same place, satch. I refuse to live like this for the rest of my life. Living in indescribable anguish every single day... living in terror of normal activities such as sleeping... it's too much. Living in hell is not living at all.

 

Each wave seems to be worse than the last. As soon as I get through it and think the worst is over because it can't possibly get any worse, the next wave does just that. I'm broken and feel like I got nothing left in me to fight this.

[[sa...]]

I'm ready to die but don't want to. Want a chance at life but not like this. Fear I'll never get better. Each wave feels worse than the last. Life and anything fun feels like a distant memory gone forever. Hopeless. Please someone tell me this is worth it.

[[me...]]

I have lyme disease, at times i fell my life has been stolen from me.  I am not living like i should be due to my chronic illness!

I see 65 year old woman living more than me!  but i will not let my disease define me.  I'm almost 40, in one year , and i want my 40's to be the best!!! i have one year to get THERE!!!!

being on benzos can do a number to your adrenals.. i asked you something above.

AF- adrenal fatigue can have some terrible symptoms.  Also, i have hashimotos disease--i'm hypo thyroid , and before i was diagnosed i was diagnosed bi polar.  I'm not bi polar.  I just have mental issues when i'm not on thyroid support...

Something you might want to look into as well...

Just brain storming through things that have/are helping me!

[[gr...]]

Satch, right there with you. Im tired of being bedridden and depressed constantly, not able to do anything.

With that said, we just need to look at the people that have healed and keep plugging along in effort to get well and live again.

 

The depression is what effects me the most.

[[Mo...]]

I'm ready to die but don't want to. Want a chance at life but not like this. Fear I'll never get better. Each wave feels worse than the last. Life and anything fun feels like a distant memory gone forever. Hopeless. Please someone tell me this is worth it.

 

NO, NO, N0 satch, don't be silly , stop thinking about dying at once. i am a bad detox case

and suffered like a pig, but i promise you it does get better and better and its well worth it.

 

don't let those bastard pills destroy your life, you've come so far now. time to push

through and give your CNS and receptors a chance to heal.

this won't happen over night, but it will happen.

 

you can do it satch, i have done it and so many others have done it before.

keep going satch, you will get there but it takes as long as it has to take.

 

 

 

 

[[sa...]]

Thanks. I'm at an all time low. Just losing hope and have lost my entire world to this. Feel there's nothing left to fight for except more suffering. Not sure I can do it but want a chance at life again so bad.

[[Mo...]]

Thanks. I'm at an all time low. Just losing hope and have lost my entire world to this. Feel there's nothing left to fight for except more suffering. Not sure I can do it but want a chance at life again so bad.

 

this low feeling is temporary, it will pass but takes time.

look what a struggle he had, thought his life was over but he wrote a success story

and so will you one day.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=78957.msg1039422#msg1039422

[[sa...]]

That story depresses me because healing is so slow. I can't do this for a year or two. I can't imagine another month but I know I'm in for a long haul. I have no retirement to life off of. I'm doomed to end up homeless I fear. I had a rich life and now it's all gone.

[[Mo...]]

That story depresses me because healing is so slow. I can't do this for a year or two. I can't imagine another month but I know I'm in for a long haul. I have no retirement to life off of. I'm doomed to end up homeless I fear. I had a rich life and now it's all gone.

 

Oh dear, so sorry. i thought it might give you hope . i have seen many members in a

similar financial situation, but there was always a way out.

since its not a permanent situation, they somehow found a solution .

i am sure you will as well .

 

 

[[sa...]]

I'm so depressed and hopeless. See no end that is positive. How did you make it through the dark times.

[[gr...]]

I just try to fight through each day satch, the depression is crushing I know. I also had a rich life and constantly am thinking of what i lost, it doesnt help, but its hard not to think of the past when it was so much happier and healthier.

 

Hang in there, it can only get better. Lets pray it wont take as long as it seems to feel it will.

[[...]]

I am 39 going on 80. When I read all of your posts it could have been me writing them. I'm living in complete agony my physical symptoms control every thought that goes through my head 24/7. I feel like I'm going to die from the symptoms alone cause my mind is going insane. Just when I think it can't get worst it always does and I want to go back but I've come so far. I'm not going to waste what I just endured. I'm over this stupid little pill that stole my life from me. Took 1/8th of my life away and I'm angry that I will never get those years back.

 

Don't give up!! I don't think all these people are lying to us. There has to be a window somewhere and light at the end of the tunnel somewhere. I am not convinced yet but I'm going to give it a year. The protracted forum does scare me though.

 

Hugs to all of you!

[[Mo...]]

I want to give hope, may be this will help .

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g1MK9OhLkg&list=UUuffCDqJnizAVVWhvHQXOLg

 

[[ea...]]

Satch, just because you read posts by people who have felt bad for a year or two does not mean you will, too. We are the minority. Truly!

As for financial ruin - heck, I lost just about everything. I had to go on Disability, which is no picnic. I lost my nice car, my career, my health....but you know what? Now I know it was worth it. I do have regrets, oh yes. But would I go back to how I used to be? No way. My health has improved, I have a car again (ugly as sin but it runs-), and my disability pays the basic bills. My career - that is gone. But its okay. I am no longer deeply in debt. I am not on a benzo anymore.

That person is long gone....and if you stay the course, you will get better, and begin to see ways of having a new and different life. Right now, you cant. All you are seeing is the negative, the worst case scenario. That is typical of benzo w/d, very typical. But it passes, like a fog lifts...it just disappears.

Please keep trying.

east

[[sa...]]

Thanks for the support. If I didn't have these other meds I would probably be a lot more hopeful. Just feel trapped.

[[gi...]]

I'm done too Satch, just when i cant go any lower, i do. My mind spirals out of control with bad thoughts and pure panic, total insanity. Waves all day till 9pm, god awful hopelessness. You are not alone Satch, got to fight now, and pray.

[[sa...]]

I don't think I can hang on anymore. Just don't see any hope or end to the suffering. Want to check out. Just die and be pain free.

[[Mo...]]

satch, hang on please. I've contacted someone from the team.

don't give up, there will be a solution.