Wife says "Finish your benzo withdrawal in detox center or we're done."

[[Be...]]

Well there goes my last support. My wife was the last one that believed in me, and encouraged me that I could get through this without a detox center who will detox you off too fast and damage you even more. My own wife says she'll leave me if I don't go to detox center. PEOPLE THAT HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH THIS DO NOT UNDERSTAND. So here I stand with my life already hell, and now this from my own wife, my "best friend". THIS IS ROCK BOTTOM.  If you EVER think it cant get worse. BELIEVE ME IT CAN!!  So now detox center or I lose my wife. THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL "Prisoner Of War". Stay strong all my benzo Soldiers. They may not get you, but I do!!!!

[[gr...]]

Wow so sorry. My wife is not even aware of detox so she doesnt ever mention it. Im afraid she will reach the end of her rope also if i dont start to get well and Im still tapering.

 

I just dont know what to say to this. It hurts so bad Im sure...hell it hurts me.

 

Take care and try to explain to her the damage detox does! If she will listen that is.

[[me...]]

I'm so sorry this is happening in your life.  People who've never been through this simply don't understand.  They think that being "detoxed" means that the problem will be fixed once and for all.  But for so many of us, it means just the opposite. This is what I wrote in another recent thread started by someone who's family wants to put them through rehab/detox:

 

Hello,

 

My heart goes out to you!  I went through a hospital detox from Xanax in 2009, and it was no different from a cold turkey. At the time I didn't know the value of tapering, and I eventually reinstated due to the absolutely hellish symptoms created by my 4-day "detox."  A few years after that I did taper off, had a long recovery period, and am now 100% healed.

 

Benzodazepines are unlike alcohol or any hard drug, in that they require a much longer recovery period during which one's brain chemistry and CNS "upregulate" and return to their normal functioning.  In some people this happens quickly, but in others, especially those who have c/t'd or detoxed off benzodiazepines previously, it can take much much longer.  Due to a phenomenon called "kindling," each successive withdrawal may be more difficult than the last.  This is why a slow taper off benzos is essential, especially for anyone who has previously been "detoxed."

 

I hope this helps! --megan918

 

Here's a link to that thread:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=114485.0

 

[[Be...]]

Are you guys surprised at all that my brAin zaps have picked up since officially completely being done with xanax and just aon diazapam now? Tho they are both benzos was my body so you to the xanax benzo for 11 years that even tho I crossed over to exact amount of Valium, is my mind still saying where is that xanax at? Thoughts? I feel kinda crazy.

[[sn...]]

Your wife doesn't understand!  You CAN'T go to detox!  They detoxedbme and I'm a mess because of it.  I was hallucinating and so psychotic I almost shot myself in the head but my son stopped me in time.  I was cold turkeyed off of 4 mgs. Of klonopin and locked in the hospital for 6 weeks of horrific hell. I was  hallucinating, psychotic, lost my ability to speak, read, write, crazy songs ruminating in my head, shaking all over, mind totally twisted.  Then I went home and was psychotic  and that is when I almost killed myself.  Abrupt cessation of benzos cause seizures, psychosis, hallucinations and damage to the central nervous system that I still have 14 years later.

 

Stand strong my friend.  I know your down.  Keep up the fight!  We all have to win this war!  You are strong and your wife needs to be there for you for the long haul.

 

God bless you and your wife and may God grant y'all the strength and peace to fight this together,

Deborah

[[me...]]

Are you guys surprised at all that my brAin zaps have picked up since officially completely being done with xanax and just aon diazapam now? Tho they are both benzos was my body so you to the xanax benzo for 11 years that even tho I crossed over to exact amount of Valium, is my mind still saying where is that xanax at? Thoughts? I feel kinda crazy.

 

Valium can take awhile to build up in your body.  When it does it will be more sedating than xanax, which I was very thankful for.  You'll be fine.

[[Be...]]

Megan

So is what I'm currently going through with the Valium is normal? I didn't get some bad pills from mylan.  I literally feel nothing when I Yale it other than maybe a little tired.

[[me...]]

Megan

So is what I'm currently going through with the Valium is normal? I didn't get some bad pills from mylan.  I literally feel nothing when I Yale it other than maybe a little tired.

 

Valium has a very different feel to it than Xanax.  Ialways felt a little "high" for an hour or two after I took Xanax, but valium only sedated me.  There was no high. This is normal, and this sedating effect, along with valium's very long half-life, is why it's used as a cross over drug at lower levels. 

 

I agree with the other posters, IMO you need to "stand strong" through this.  You're so near to the end of your taper, it would be a shame to give it up now.

[[Be...]]

megan

tho Valium is still a benzo my body still wants to know where the xanax is? Even tho I'm on equivalent dose. What if I got a bad batch Megan?

[[me...]]

megan

tho Valium is still a benzo my body still wants to know where the xanax is? Even tho I'm on equivalent dose. What if I got a bad batch Megan?

 

I wouldn't worry about this.  IMO it's not an issue and your mind is just making up imaginary threats at this point.  Also, it's completely normal for symptoms to increase near the end of a taper - this happens for most of us - just keep tapering.

[[Be...]]

MEGAN

Have you heard of anyone using mylan brand diazapam successfully thRough their taper?

[[me...]]

MEGAN

Have you heard of anyone using mylan brand diazapam successfully thRough their taper?

 

I have no idea what brands of benzos I was using when I was tapering.  As I said in your other thread, it's not an issue for most of us.  You are obsessing about this, and trying to find "threats" where there are none.  Just keep tapering!

 

[[Be...]]

Okay will do. Wow switching over to equivalent Valium is seriously tough stuff. I'm gonna remove 1mg every 14days.

[[me...]]

Okay will do. Wow switching over to equivalent Valium is seriously tough stuff. I'm gonna remove 1mg every 14days.

 

[[Be...]]

Megan

no words on the face of the earth could describe how I feel right now. My left face and head feel like they are going to explode. So dizzy I can hardly lift my head. I feel seriously OUT OF MY MIND!

[[Pl...]]

You need to stabilize on the valium before you cut any. Also normally the Ashton manual has you slowly taper from xanax to valium so you can stabilize on a different benzo. It is normally done in a cut one dose of xanax out and replace it with a dose of valium. My doctor tried to switch me directly over from xanax to valium and it was horrible. You may be having withdrawal symptoms from the xanax. You may need to up dose the valium to get stable before you try to taper. I would read the Ashton manual and talk to your doc. If you're suffering this much now...it will most likely will get worse if you don't stabilize. Please don't try to rush it.

[[Ru...]]

Hey benzo hell, did you do a direct cross ( stopped Xanax one day and started the v the next) if so this is why you are feeling so bad.

You are ( in my experience) basically ct Ing off the x.

I did the same thing. Took my last dose of Ativan July 17 and started v July 18.

 

It took me weeks of feeling like I was in ct hell off Ativan.

 

But the good mods and buddies kept telling me to hold and keep taking the v and eventually I would stabilize and they were right.

 

I kept holding till last Tuesday when I made my first tiny cut of v and I am doing ok.

 

Just keep taking your v or perhaps try more of an Ashton cross and it will eventually even out.

 

And you know what, I was in really bad Ativan tolerance after 4 years on it and now on the v I am

Out of tolerance and have already noticed some good changes just for being off the Ativan.

 

I have no dr now at all, less dp and less brain fog and a bit more motivation then I did on the Ativan.y mind is also much less messed up now.

 

It will get better.

 

And please try to explain to your wife that detox will only make it worse and is not safe.

 

Stress to her how unsafe this is and that it could make things much worse.

 

[[ea...]]

I agree with Megan.

What youre describing sounds like "normal" withdrawal to me. It is not fun! It is terrifying, and you will think you've lost your mind.

But you haven't.

Your brain is currently under siege. There is temporary brain damage. And it wll get better.

In the meantime, its super important to keep yourself occupied (distracted). Doing something other than worrying and being scared is not only good for your psyche, its good for your brain.

And there are many techniques for dealing with fear, anxiety, etc. This forum has tons of wonderful ideas.

Ride it out and it will get better.

east

[[Ru...]]

And I also tried to cut the v way too fast after switching from Ativan and was still in Ativan wd. It was horrible. Had only been on the v 10 days when I did this and had to up dose again back to 10 Mgs v.

 

I would go back up to the 7 Mgs, from my similar experience you cut way too soon and are now dealing with x and v wd.

 

Once back on the 7 mg v give it some time, it took me 4 weeks to stabilize and for the Ativan wd to burn out.

 

Finally after 4 weeks of holding I was able to make a small v cut.

 

I really think you need to go back to 7 Mgs v and hold there for a while.

[[be...]]

Your wife doesn't understand!  You CAN'T go to detox!  They detoxedbme and I'm a mess because of it.  I was hallucinating and so psychotic I almost shot myself in the head but my son stopped me in time.  I was cold turkeyed off of 4 mgs. Of klonopin and locked in the hospital for 6 weeks of horrific hell. I was  hallucinating, psychotic, lost my ability to speak, read, write, crazy songs ruminating in my head, shaking all over, mind totally twisted.  Then I went home and was psychotic  and that is when I almost killed myself.  Abrupt cessation of benzos cause seizures, psychosis, hallucinations and damage to the central nervous system that I still have 14 years later.

 

Stand strong my friend.  I know your down.  Keep up the fight!  We all have to win this war!  You are strong and your wife needs to be there for you for the long haul.

 

God bless you and your wife and may God grant y'all the strength and peace to fight this together,

Deborah

 

I had a similar situation and still remember it like it was today. But I had to C/T off 13 mg of Xanax and Paxil, both at once. Needless to say you know how it felt. Bets

[[gr...]]

Benzohell, again i just wanna say that the zaps are from the effexor, even being late on a dose will cause them. I dont think its the benzos...i got the zaps from cymbalta if i was just the slightest bit late on taking it. This is a AD trait.

[[Be...]]

Yeah but I've been on Effexor for 6yrs. Never had brain zaps until i was in tolerance withDrAwal and taper withDrAwal from xanax. You can def get zaps from benzos. I know what you mean tho about AD zaps I get them even worse if I'm late or forget tob take my effexor which pretty much never happens.

[[gr...]]

I got the zaps when i moved my head from left to right...on the Cymbalta.

[[Mo...]]

Omg please no rehab. I tried it the 4th day of being

there I seized. Their protocol was .5 mg of klonopin for

5 days and then cold turkey.

May God Bless you!! You are in my prayers!

[[be...]]

Omg please no rehab. I tried it the 4th day of being

there I seized. Their protocol was .5 mg of klonopin for

5 days and then cold turkey.

May God Bless you!! You are in my prayers!

 

That's quite a journey you have made, Molly. Bets