Ive lost the love of my life because i cant leave my home

[[Pi...]]

Shes the perfect one for me. Were exactly the same. But i cant leave my place bc of wd and she wont wait forever. Ive never felt this bad in my entire life. Its as if im being tortured 24/7, with no pauses and no escape. I feel like im in a nightmare that i cant wake up from

[[gr...]]

Sorry PK :'( Its hard on people, they just dont know how much we are suffering. Im always in fear of losing my wife also.

 

If she did leave, I would understand. Not saying that is what u should be doing, please dont think that.

 

Its just so hard on our loved ones also. I never go anywhere with my wife, its like she doesnt have a spouse, just someone to take care of 24/7

[[Tr...]]

Pity,

 

I know exactly how you feel.  I've lost the love of my life as well.  As much as I tried to be "normal" I couldn't do it.  I'm not able to function at that level.  He couldn't understand it and I knew eventually he would grow tired of waiting for me to be healed.  And, he left. 

 

Sometimes I question if he was the love of my life, otherwise he would have stayed with me.  It's hard and depressing.  I have to keep moving forward and not dwell. 

 

I have to love myself first in order to get through this.  If you can't get the support you need at a time like this, it says a lot about that person. 

 

Stay strong.

 

Try

[[it...]]

I feel the same at 7.75 months buddy. But sometimes you have to put yourself first and recover, maybe there's always a chance down the road after recovery and reconnecting. But dwelling on it and it being stressful and a touchy subject will just make you worse in WD especially the mental. I've had this happen to me to and have just had to let it rude into the sea. Its sad and painful.

[[Pi...]]

Very painful. I cant take her out of my mind 24/7. How do you deal with this?

[[gr...]]

Hate to say it..but only time will make it easier. Its too fresh. Focus on your health and you. Thats the priority right now.

[[Pi...]]

What can i do to focus on my health and recovery?

[[gr...]]

Eat well, excercise when possible but dont over do it. Get a hobby to distract, have friends comeover if you can so u dont isolate...things like these help i think.

 

U have 2 cts under you belt. You need time to heal from that too! Worrying about romance is such a stressor when u are in acute like u are PK.

[[Tr...]]

Pity,

 

Set goals for yourself.  However small.  Let's say you can't go outside.  Maybe a goal is to just stand in the doorway.  Goal to start a journal to note your progress.  Anything that forces you to make yourself a priority and keep healing. 

 

Try

[[Pi...]]

Im so depressed i cant exercise or eat well or see friends.. Is this normal?

[[ea...]]

Yes, it can be. Before your cold turkeys, were you depressed? Or is this new?

 

One thing I have painfully learned at age 64 is that even though we think we have found "the love of our lives," we are often wrong. More likely, its possible to have more than one love of our life! What seems so important at one time will later seem almost silly. Boy, do I know! But this doesn't make going through a loss any easier. Loss is painful. You are mourning more than just possibly losing this person. There must be grief for the person you were before benzos, right? You have probably lost a lot....and right now, it all seems terribly overwhelming and beyond recovery.

But recover you will, as long as you stay off the benzos. And no more cold turkeys, please!

east

[[Pi...]]

Never been depressed in my life vefore benzos or felt any of these weird things..

 

What do u mean im sad bc im mourning and not bc i lost her?

 

I think it might be lust too bc shes like the prettiest hottest girl ive ever talked to

 

Just talking about her makes me want to cry.. And i cant distract no matter what i do

[[ea...]]

Im sorry if I wasn't clear.

Many of us have a real sense of loss (mourning) during our withdrawal. Many of us HAVE lost things - wives, husbands, jobs, homes, money, etc. Some of us feel we lost a great deal because of benzos. And some of us DID lose a lot. So - we mourn these losses. Right now, you think you have lost someone very important to you....a possible loss. This may be making you feel quite sad and down. But withdrawal causes ALL our emotions to be magnified, sometimes to ridiculous proportions.

Have you talked to her? Is your concern justified?

east

[[Di...]]

Yes, it can be. Before your cold turkeys, were you depressed? Or is this new?

 

One thing I have painfully learned at age 64 is that even though we think we have found "the love of our lives," we are often wrong. More likely, its possible to have more than one love of our life! What seems so important at one time will later seem almost silly. Boy, do I know! But this doesn't make going through a loss any easier. Loss is painful. You are mourning more than just possibly losing this person. There must be grief for the person you were before benzos, right? You have probably lost a lot....and right now, it all seems terribly overwhelming and beyond recovery.

But recover you will, as long as you stay off the benzos. And no more cold turkeys, please!

east

 

This is so true.

[[gr...]]

PK I would like to know all your symptoms...why cant you leave the house etc...sorry your depressed. Ive never felt depression like i am feeling right now. Its just to my core and has me totally disabled. Im so weak I cant even walk very far. All the sxs are just horrendous.

[[Pi...]]

I agree with pretty much all you guys have said..

 

I cant leave bc of my psychological sxs.. Agorophobia, extreme anciety, panic, very obsessive, way too self conscious. Going out like this is hell on earth