I can't take the intense waves of month 7! wtf is wrong with me

[[it...]]

I felt I wading doing good after five months like turning a corner and then from six on feels like um going backwards. Windows are few and only decent on good days most are crap and then the horrific intense ones. I'm really hoping by a year I'm way better? I know I won't be fully healed but something has got to give!I just don't understand this. I want to die at times. Can anyone relate and offer months experience she's if this and hope? So hopeless.

[[Ch...]]

It sounds like you're having a wave of symptoms.  This will pass but it's good to know what the triggers are that bring on waves.  Have you had mental, emotional or physical anxiety lately…that's what triggered waves for me.

 

Hang in there, it'll pass.  Sounds like you were doing well for a long time.

 

 

[[it...]]

I challice thanks,ive had all these going on naturally in the wd but nothing to cause the intense waves to  come on. They seem to come on regardless now and then even when I'm always in a calm state they will cycle and vary to a few degrees in circles and then a really intense one. I stay at home mostly and stay around quiet places. So at this point I think there just apart of it happening to repair the brain? But this is aweful. I know I'm in a wave but idk.

[[fi...]]

I'm only a little bit ahead of you, and I can't find a logic to the waves (except that drinking too much alcohol or going a few days without exercise will hurt). I feel good when I wake up, but that fades as I have to deal with the day. Hopefully we won't be having this conversation in six months.

[[ki...]]

Hi Itsmylife,

 

I'm at 13 months off now and so much better off.  I was on benzos for many, many years too and was in tolerance for at least 3 years as well.  So I'm a tough case who is winning the battle.    I've had symptoms like you describe all the way up to about 10 months and it has gradually gotten better.  Now, my anxiety is under control but intrusive thoughts are bad still.  I know its all going away though.  Keep the faith that this is chemical and will resolve in time.

 

Kick

[[li...]]

Hi It's my life:

Thanks for posting this. I am 6 months post and like you am struggling with symptoms. Mine are mostly in the mornings and gets better through the day but I had thought I was past all this because I felt almost normal for over a month when all of a sudden the symptoms returned (Anxiety/Depression for me). And I can't help but worry about it wondering if this is normal. I did a slow taper yet I am still not healed so I am always looking to hear others who may have experienced this so I know what I am going through is normal and hopefully I am still healing.

 

LiveLoveLaugh

[[ma...]]

It seems that most people have a bad month between months 5 to 8 - I had a very bad month 5 which I got through and now I'm feeling a lot better, I only have mild symptoms for a couple or a few hours a day now. Just get through this month itsmylife

[[it...]]

Five tigers if you quit Jan 10 I quit ct Jan 3rd I'm ahead of you Lol. But its all good.

[[it...]]

Thanks five tigers,and kickfish that is very good to know I'm not going crazy thank you. And live laugh love sure I think its normal and I wish all of you guys healing. This stuff is brutal at times but we are winning  at least! Hope all you guys are doing well and I know one day we will beat this and the grass will be greener on the other side.

[[li...]]

Thanks Its My Life:

Looking forward to a complete healing for all of us...we will get there together!

LiveLoveLaugh

[[Co...]]

Exact same thing happened to me. At 5 months out I thought I turned a corner. I felt so good I was even working out. Then month 6 hit and here I am at almost a year and feel like I'm back in acute! Unbelievable! Hopefully at a year out you won't be like me. Hope you heal soon.

[[it...]]

Its crazy I don't know why this happens how are you doing at a year vs. When this started happening at month six?

[[co...]]

Yup

 

I'm 8 1/2 months out from jumping on Jan 1 from a year and a half taper...am being overwhelmed with the obsessive thoughts with this huge wave.

 

Had a nice 2+week window in July-thought, o yah, I'm better, I can move on with my life...then - Blam!  Sometimes the waves do come because of the stress or circumstances in my life, but this time it was for no good reason.

 

I'd trade the physical symptoms anyday for all this psychological torture.  And it is torture.  I feel like a prisoner at Guantanamo-seems designed perfectly for that purpose.

 

Hope we all ride our waves to the other side real soon.

 

[[Co...]]

Its crazy I don't know why this happens how are you doing at a year vs. When this started happening at month six?

 

Well I'm not really sure how I'm doing compared to month 6. My memory is so bad that I'm not able to remember it. I know it was bad and I think it was worse than it is now. So things have improved for me and some things have come back. I hadn't had hot flashes or chills in months and now they are back. Not near as bad as they were earlier. The floaters are back too and they are just as bad, I'm also dizzy, lightheaded, and burning skin is back. Nights are the worst for me again so my sleep is back to 5 hours a night. I was getting 6 hours a night. My eyes are raw and burning like I haven't slept or was on the computer too long and it happens as soon as I wake up. Anxiety is trying to creep in and benzo belly is back. It really sucks!!! Hopefully you pull through soon.

[[it...]]

I know it sucks cool I sure hope so..and I think ur wave will pass quicklybeung so far out .

[[re...]]

Cookie noise.      As they say be careful what u wish for .my initial jump was mid March 2014,with some kindling June and July.  Physical sxs started mid May , stiff neck,left arm rotator cuff pain;which stopped me from my three times a week 60 lap swims;9 PT sessions nada improvement actually made pain worse; 3 weeks ago left ankle swollen ,felt sprained,X-rays and Dr exam negative.Limping for first hour after getting up,every night and morning.Right arm now has mirrored left constant pain and weak.Cant sleep on left or right sides when I get my average 2 to 4 hours.Just mowed front lawn 20 x40 ,felt like a 92 year old with feet and arm pain.May be last time for that,but retired fixed income can't really hire guys.Right foot last couple days beginning to mirror left.Every day getting harder and increased joint/muscular pain. Praying to our Lord that the hight mark of phys sxs will be reached soon and not last long.Hoping above posts about 5 to 8 month will be end of really bad stuff.Oh forgot to mention fatigued and cramping calves after grass cutting.Cant exercise w/o sxs getting worse.But compared to some on this forum still feel blessed I can drive do some errands w/o freaking out.  So maybe your are right mentally stuff can paralyze one even more.    One day at at time!  This too shall pass!    Sorry for the long vent,but I guess that's what we are here for,and I think May help in healing process.    Peace and calm and speedy painless recovery to all.  Shalom  AJ aka renacido <><