6-12 month thread....

[[Fr...]]

Feeling better today but I'm always on guard now.  This up and down creates such a distrust.  I'm laying low and hoping this will stretch out.

 

Peace - how great that a neurologist actually believes this is wd, wow.

 

My therapist yesterday - who went through wd herself - reaffirmed to me for the umpteeth time that everyone does recover.

 

Coop - thanks for all this encouragement from an earlier post,

 

"Lisa...yes I miss my former self...and my former thick hair...This process is so full of grief and pain. I try to believe that who I am and how I feel in a window is exactly where I will end up when this is done...at myself again.

......Lisa....If you can make it to month 8 I think you will start to see better improvement on a little more consistent basis....and better hair...in the mean time come here and vent all you want. .....coop"

 

I really do sometimes miss my former self but I'm trying to see that the new me might be better.  Did all the running around I did really make me happy or benefit anyone - probably not - so maybe this is my soul's way of getting me to pare down life into its basics.  I never dreamed I'd ever get old LOL or let my hair go gray but I'm starting to like the idea.  Maybe our generation never thought we'd get old, and now that we're there it's coming as a shock.  I am beginning to accept it and beginning to be calm with it.  I guess that's some progress.

 

xo,

Lisa

[[mr...]]

We can do this.

 

We can do this.

 

We can do this

 

We can do this.

 

Jus' sayin'.

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

I was just telling my daughter how thankful I am for windows (and I am SO thankful!)...that being said, it's almost cruel to have a window and feel better to backslide into the depths!

 

I do see that the waves are not as bad each time, but it is still bad when I'm in it! I'm so thankful, and praise God, that it is getting better...but it's still so hard!

 

I can feel slight improvement this afternoon!!

 

Be well all!!

 

:smitten:

[[Sk...]]

@[Fr...]

 

I mean you are seeing a doctor who has been through what you have been through and can advise you and give you all the reassurance that you need !

 

 

[[mi...]]

coop...jenny.......I know about the head pressure it is my worst s/x. I try to stay positive, but some days I just want to bang my head on something!! I was in bed until 2 this afternoon. Staying or going to bed during the day is rare for me in the last 2 mos. My head was so bad today, I felt it was pulling me sideways and the ringing was sooo loud. Suddenly, at 2 pm it is almost gone, that quick. It is lurking tho so I will take this quiet...I hope this ends soon for all of us. Hi to everyone else on here! Hope everyone sees some relief soon.

[[Fr...]]

Yes Sky - it is nice to have a therapist who knows all about this.  She is very reassuring.

 

Lisa

[[Gr...]]

 

"I really do sometimes miss my former self but I'm trying to see that the new me might be better.  Did all the running around I did really make me happy or benefit anyone - probably not - so maybe this is my soul's way of getting me to pare down life into its basics.  I never dreamed I'd ever get old LOL or let my hair go gray but I'm starting to like the idea.  Maybe our generation never thought we'd get old, and now that we're there it's coming as a shock.  I am beginning to accept it and beginning to be calm with it.  I guess that's some progress."

 

I wanted to say something like that in response to your earlier post.  But I think you said it best yourself.

 

And, yes, on guard is a perfect description of my current mindset.  I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

[[He...]]

Green and Peace...I Reframed my timeliness out yo 2 years too..after the 6 month crash in to reality debacle. Having said that,  I am following Life,  HealingHope and PianoGirl's posts and stories. Life and HH have made great improvement in months10-14...and PianoGirl talks about the biggest part of her healing happening by the end of year one with finishing touches and tying up loose ends in the second year. I am trying to believe that 2 years foes not mean 2 solid years of total misery...with good reliable improvement by month 14. I hope I am not living in denial with unrealistic expectations again...that 6 month disappointment ruined me for a few weeks. I like the idea of not defining waves and windows as separate and apart experiences ....its all a mountain to me...I am either making my way to the top....stalled and 'resting ' on the trail or hiking back down a ways to find a better trail to the top. ...Today I had to back track a little to find a better trail ..now I think I am resting ..

....My head pressure came back this morning....with anxiety and up and down b/p...I had to take 6 mg of atenolol again and my go to hot bath with lavender epsome salts...b/p is good again. This head pressure thing freaks me out and I cant stay out of the anxiety spiral...I know the goal of w/d is to be benzo free...not medication free, but I don't want to be on atenolol..even 6 mg which is practically nothing ( its the perfectionism thing ...I have struggled with it most of my life). ....having said that...once I see my b/p coming down (118/70 now) the anxiety gets better..but not always the head pressure...boy, I want to fight and flail against this one even though I know 'resting ' with it...letting it 'be ' ...would get me further.....obsession ...I know.

....So I am going on about my day ...4 more months...seems like nothing compared to the time I have already put into this...and even with current s/x it is still so so much better than months 5-7 ......

....HH...if you are out there come on and tell us again how you are at one year and a little more....Thinking of everyone...off to the library to do a little 30 minute story time for 3 year olds ...really looking forward to it but slightly terrified as I haven't done anything with a group of mommies for more than a year...feeling rusty and some anxiety...cross your fingers for me

...Wishing everyone a better day....see you tonight....coop

 

 

You are right, Coop.  Two years does NOT mean complete misery.  I have felt the majority of my healing happen from months 8 and 9 to now, 13 months and 1 week.  Months 6 and 7 for me were SO SO SO very hard, I'm still not sure how I got through them!!  Right now I'm not 100%, but I'm really close.  Yesterday was my husband's shoulder surgery and I waited in the waiting room by myself, calmly.  I was nervous and I could feel panic trying to surge up a few times, but I was able to tamper them down and I could sit and read magazines.  This is amazing to me, because even 2 months ago I would have been miserable through it and probably pacing the halls on the edge of, or completely in, panic.  I did have an upsurge of some anxiety symptoms that happened when we got home, and a bit this morning....almost like a wave was lapping at my feet...but it did NOT swamp me as it would have before.  Major healing! 

 

I've spent the day working by myself in my classroom, preparing for school to resume.  I have felt calm, and at peace, and pleasant anticipation for this new year.  Last school year I wasn't able to be working alone in my room without feeling overrun with anxiety, even in the spring.  I ate a candy bar (OK, I'll be honest....I ate two  ) and felt NO rush of adreneline either time.  Last school year I wasn't able to eat sugar without that nasty panicky rush.

 

My old posts in my progress log don't speak to how bad I felt at times.  I tended to be frightened to write how badly I really felt, as though it would make it worse or more real or something, so I tended to whitewash it a bit.  I thought I was going crazy.  I no longer feel that way.  In fact, I feel like I will be stronger than I have ever been.  I still deal with some fear of the benzo beast raising it's ugly head again, but each of these big things that I get through helps to diminish that fear just a bit.  I think that will be the biggest part of healing for me during this 12 - 24 month time frame.

 

It really, really does get better!  No matter how BAD it can seem, it really gets better.     

[[mr...]]

You are right, Coop.  Two years does NOT mean complete misery.  I have felt the majority of my healing happen from months 8 and 9 to now, 13 months and 1 week.  Months 6 and 7 for me were SO SO SO very hard, I'm still not sure how I got through them!!  Right now I'm not 100%, but I'm really close.  Yesterday was my husband's shoulder surgery and I waited in the waiting room by myself, calmly.  I was nervous and I could feel panic trying to surge up a few times, but I was able to tamper them down and I could sit and read magazines.  This is amazing to me, because even 2 months ago I would have been miserable through it and probably pacing the halls on the edge of, or completely in, panic.  I did have an upsurge of some anxiety symptoms that happened when we got home, and a bit this morning....almost like a wave was lapping at my feet...but it did NOT swamp me as it would have before.  Major healing! 

 

I've spent the day working by myself in my classroom, preparing for school to resume.  I have felt calm, and at peace, and pleasant anticipation for this new year.  Last school year I wasn't able to be working alone in my room without feeling overrun with anxiety, even in the spring. I ate a candy bar (OK, I'll be honest....I ate two  ) and felt NO rush of adreneline either time.  Last school year I wasn't able to eat sugar without that nasty panicky rush.

 

My old posts in my progress log don't speak to how bad I felt at times.  I tended to be frightened to write how badly I really felt, as though it would make it worse or more real or something, so I tended to whitewash it a bit.  I thought I was going crazy.  I no longer feel that way.  In fact, I feel like I will be stronger than I have ever been.  I still deal with some fear of the benzo beast raising it's ugly head again, but each of these big things that I get through helps to diminish that fear just a bit.  I think that will be the biggest part of healing for me during this 12 - 24 month time frame.

 

It really, really does get better!  No matter how BAD it can seem, it really gets better.   

 

Wow HH, Thank you so much for posting all this!! I was just thinking about how to overcome the fear/anxiety/panic, and wondering how/when it will ever feel better. The dumb thoughts tell you you will be PTSD, this is how it is, etc etc etc... ALL LIES. This may sound goofy, but I am SO GLAD others out there have felt the anxiety and panic and fear like this, you know? Not that I'd ever wish this experience on anyone of course, but it is so inspiring to read of your success and triumph over all this The things I bolded resonated with me. How incredible that things change like that! I am LOOKING FORWARD to this progression!! Yes Lord, it is so. #miraclemonthsarehereandcoming!

 

Thanks for posting this, wow thank you SO MUCH! So soooo glad others that have walked the path already stick around to 'pass the torch' to us Paying it forward, yes -- I am looking forward to doing this as well

 

God bless you HH Healing is happening for all of us. Praise the Lord

 

Take care buddies,

 

Mrs.

[[Mo...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Reading everyone's awesome posts.. I am sorry some are having a rough day today.

 

Last night, to help me get some sleep, I took 10ml of tylenol and codeine left over from a bronchial infection a few months back.  I DID get some sleep and the yuck on me was half what it has been.  Man, what a difference some sleep can make.  Unfortunately, I have caught a cold.  It's in that beginning stage where you are kinda fluish but it's not benzo.. runny nose, sore throat.. that kinda sick

 

Before I went to bed last night one of my prayer partners had sent me a note saying to wake up expecting a miracle.  I said, well ok, sure!  Anyways, when I woke up and my brain did it's self check thru mud and cloud those words slammed me between the eyes.. as the mud started to settle in I wrapped my thoughts around those words and got up.  It was 8am at this point and I'm supposed to go in to the office at 9am.  I went to my husband to give him a report on my status.. because I'm cool like that.. and he told me to get the kids ready.. we are referring the kids still sacked out in my bed. 

 

I walked back into my room on robot mode and hear my husband put on the happy song by pharall williams.  It was so odd, but like the wind that blows the ick into us.. that song blew the junk out of me. 

 

I was standing over the kids and started clapping my hands lightly to the song and whispered to the munchkins, if they got up I would make hot chocolate.  Wouldn't you know they jumped up..ha! 

 

Anyways, made it into the office and got some work done.  Had some software problems that lost me 2 hours.  Then I asked the Pastor if I could talk to him because although I had let the director know my situation I felt I needed to tell him too.  He understood and told me he had suffered from Epstenbarr syndrome and it had taken him 2 years to recover.  Anyways, I really felt I needed to say something to him too.  So, cats out of the bag. 

 

I am home now and tired.. there is some funk there but nothing is really overriding.  More ho-hum like Life said the other day.  I have tried to lay down but there must be some adrenaline rushing thru me. 

 

HH- I completely understand about white washing.  I was so terrified to write down what was really going because it might cement into reality.  My counselor told me to journal, but I couldn't.  I would wait until it passed and then write what I remembered.  Last year vs this year.. big difference.  Have you upped your cup of jo to a full cup or half decaf half reg still?

 

Coop - How did story time go??  Sooo exciting.  I hope it was wonderful and just enough to put a smile on your face for the rest of the evening. 

 

Free - I remember that feeling of being on guard.  I was always watching for those headlights to come around the corner.  It's gone now.  I believe those are transition thoughts.  I also rarely, rarely feel like the benzo crazy will take over.  That was a huge fear of mine, but it's a very distant thought too. 

 

It's really good to read when a doctor, counselor, therapist can confirm the healing process for us.  Thank you all for posting the facts.  Even when I am close to 100% I still notice I am not 100%.  It's seems to make the doubts bigger because you are so close but not there.  The same boat, still out a sea, waiting to come ashore. 

 

Nova- 

 

I will check back in later.  Peace, you should post your doctors name and address in the benzo dr section on the boards. 

 

Praying for restful sleep tonight for all my buddies and windows to open..

 

MommyR

 

 

[[pe...]]

Hi Coop- How was story time? I have a three year old who loves stories. Did you go with fiction or nonfiction or realistic fiction  (the middle ground)? I've been thinking about your head pressure, especially since it bothers you so much. I have been doing acupuncture for almost two years with mixed results. One of the things it's always helped with is headache or head pressure. I wonder if you'd be able to give it a chance. I'm sorry you were having a rough day. I hope those three year olds helped turn it around.

 

Peace2

[[pe...]]

I read through all the posts and talk back to them in my head and then I get here and can't remember much of anything. I do want to tell people suffering with head pressure, tinnitus and tummy stuff that acupuncture has helped me with all of those symptoms. They still come and go, but if any of them are horrendous and I go to acupuncture, I can almost always count on at least a week of relief. It might be worth a try.

 

MommyR- My favorite line of yours hands down is 'because I'm cool like that.' I smile every time I read it because I get the sentiment, can almost hear you saying it and my sister says it too. I'm so glad you've got people praying you through this and glad you talked with the pastor. That's someone I want on my team. I'm glad you've got that husband to awaken the happy in you and I'm glad you are feeling better than months ago and seeing progress. And I'm glad you're on this thread!

 

Mrs- I'm glad today was better than yesterday. Ahhhh, a little relief. I felt a little better too.

 

Lisa and GMIT- I'm sorry for the valleys. You've both had really great days and I hold onto that for each of you. If you felt better before, you will feel better again. Remember, I never have windows. If I'm not giving up, you're not either. You are both so strong and doing a great job. Lisa, let your therapist keep reassuring you everyday until it's over.

 

Jenny- Don't put anything in stone just yet. Your first year is not over. So, let's just take it as it comes. You also have had some pretty good stretches as well. Hold onto that.

 

HH- I love everything you posted today. I'm in month 6.5 and it's hard. You help me look forward to getting through just a few more weeks. Maybe, I'll turn a corner too. Or, it will take more time, but it's good to have hope. I spent three hours in my classroom today. Oh. my. I am going over lots of information with the teacher I'm replacing. She's retiring after 25 years in the same classroom and is holding on pretty tightly. I like her a lot, it's kind of sad to watch the old lioness wander away from the pack. We went into the office to check on something and she noticed there was no longer a mailbox slot for her. She was so surprised, "You took my mailbox away?!?" She's very committed to making sure the class and I get off on the right foot. She's shown me all her systems and celebrations and room arrangement. I think she might be surprised to see all the changes when she comes to visit a few months from now. I did ok, despite my constant state of dr and cognitive issues. It was good to stretch a little. I actually wound up having a good day and I wonder if some of it wasn't from relief at not totally blowing my school visit. I think I might seem overwhelmed, but who isn't when they start a new job!?

Your description of being calm, happy, anticipating and eating candy bars totally reminds me of the old me. Maybe next year .

 

To Nova, you chop the most beautiful wood and are so graceful when you carry the water. I'm glad your mood was good today.

 

Love you guys,

Peace2

 

 

 

 

 

[[li...]]

Hi everyone. I had some really bad stress thrown at me today and my blood pressure is very high for me. I ask that you please pray that it passes. Im in a anxious mode as this situation that happened to me would cause anyone to be anxious but I do not feel that I am in a wave. Just dealing with a reality and it is not nice but overcoming . Sorry that I do not want to talk about what it is now but I ask for prayers that I can learn how to deal with all this stress. I decide not to have my surgery tomorrow as my meniscus is not the problem --turns out possible arthritis. I am kind of happy about that as I feared the w/d from whatever drug they put me on to go under. That is a positive -- maybe I get some physical therapy. I am concerned about the stress and my blood pressure. Please pray for me.

 

Life

[[He...]]

Hi everyone. I had some really bad stress thrown at me today and my blood pressure is very high for me. I ask that you please pray that it passes. Im in a anxious mode as this situation that happened to me would cause anyone to be anxious but I do not feel that I am in a wave. Just dealing with a reality and it is not nice but overcoming . Sorry that I do not want to talk about what it is now but I ask for prayers that I can learn how to deal with all this stress. I decide not to have my surgery tomorrow as my meniscus is not the problem --turns out possible arthritis. I am kind of happy about that as I feared the w/d from whatever drug they put me on to go under. That is a positive -- maybe I get some physical therapy. I am concerned about the stress and my blood pressure. Please pray for me.

 

Life

 

Praying for you right now. 

[[mr...]]

Life, blood pressure is easy to fix No worries

 

Gang, just hanging with the Mr tonight. Absolutely appalled at how the feeling of "overwhelmed" appears. Its like benzo-fear has infected most of my daily life -- like most every decision, most eveey action is overcoming another faux-benzo-fear. Argh! I'm not fearful of these things, for realsies! Earlier today, the irrational thought regarding "what if" panic/anxiety come and stay? Ridiculous, and physiologically impossibe no less. And, I'm not afraid of panic attacks anymore -- but my mind would like me to think I am, sheesh!! And, I'm going to have a biopsy done in September, and stupid irrationals regarding that today also -- like "what if" I'm so anxious they won't do it? Like, WHO CARES?!? For real?? Dumb stupid thoughts. NO truth or basis for them at all.

 

This past week fear has been so stupid. SO STUPID. These next upcoming months, and this month, I declare are still my miracle months -- I'm standing in faith that this month is where fear/panic/anxiety fall away FOREVER. Yes Lord -- it is so.

 

Hoping for a window tomorrow. Its so funny, last Friday was a nice crystal clear window. So this "wave" has been less than a week long -- but you know how it feels

 

Loving this group. What you have here is SPECIAL. What a community of buddies here; I am so very grateful Love, life, and windows; take care buddies,

 

Mrs.

[[li...]]

Hi everyone. I had some really bad stress thrown at me today and my blood pressure is very high for me. I ask that you please pray that it passes. Im in a anxious mode as this situation that happened to me would cause anyone to be anxious but I do not feel that I am in a wave. Just dealing with a reality and it is not nice but overcoming . Sorry that I do not want to talk about what it is now but I ask for prayers that I can learn how to deal with all this stress. I decide not to have my surgery tomorrow as my meniscus is not the problem --turns out possible arthritis. I am kind of happy about that as I feared the w/d from whatever drug they put me on to go under. That is a positive -- maybe I get some physical therapy. I am concerned about the stress and my blood pressure. Please pray for me.

 

Life

 

Praying for you right now. 

 

 

Thank you so much Healinghope. I am so encouraged by your progress. I know that I have progressed so much as I would have gone into the emergency room just 3 months ago with this amount of stress. I guess stress is all what we make it too, huh?

 

Life

 

[[li...]]

Life, blood pressure is easy to fix No worries

 

Gang, just hanging with the Mr tonight. Absolutely appalled at how the feeling of "overwhelmed" appears. Its like benzo-fear has infected most of my daily life -- like most every decision, most eveey action is overcoming another faux-benzo-fear. Argh! I'm not fearful of these things, for realsies! Earlier today, the irrational thought regarding "what if" panic/anxiety come and stay? Ridiculous, and physiologically impossibe no less. And, I'm not afraid of panic attacks anymore -- but my mind would like me to think I am, sheesh!! And, I'm going to have a biopsy done in September, and stupid irrationals regarding that today also -- like "what if" I'm so anxious they won't do it? Like, WHO CARES?!? For real?? Dumb stupid thoughts. NO truth or basis for them at all.

 

This past week fear has been so stupid. SO STUPID. These next upcoming months, and this month, I declare are still my miracle months -- I'm standing in faith that this month is where fear/panic/anxiety fall away FOREVER. Yes Lord -- it is so.

 

Hoping for a window tomorrow. Its so funny, last Friday was a nice crystal clear window. So this "wave" has been less than a week long -- but you know how it feels

 

Loving this group. What you have here is SPECIAL. What a community of buddies here; I am so very grateful Love, life, and windows; take care buddies,

 

Mrs.

 

 

Mrslw, I know what you mean. It is just in the head -- stress is a catalyst for my waves in the past I just pray that it is not going forward.

 

life

[[Mo...]]

Peace- I do the same thing!!  I've been talking about hair to myself and wanting to say something then someone mentioned henna.. who was it..jenny or Lisa for GMIT or where is it? ...looking thru thread..someone mentioned grace... where was that.. aaargh..  You put the biggest smile on my face about my 'cool like that' comment.  giggling.  I'm totally on your team.  When was your son born?  Mine is Jan 11.  He always gets ripped off for his birthday.  I keep saying we need to have a snow party for him, but then I was sick...so maybe this year?  I have been thinking about you never having windows, just different levels of a constant wave.  When I was tapering I would only get 3 hours of functionality the night before my weekly down dose.  It was nonstop ride.  I would run into my bedroom and fold clothes and make the bed.  The next day, when I took the lower dose it would hit pretty quick, so I would sit on my friends couch after popping the pill with ibuprofen and zophran.  It would take few hours for it to hit like the flu. 

 

How was your taper?  Being off the pills hit much harder and stronger for me.  My first depressive, frightening intrusive thoughts came after that.  The brain doesn't like this.  I believe your doctors.  I didn't come onto BB until a few months off the taper because I knew I couldn't navigate myself and I had to trust those caring for me.  They told me to stay off the internet.  As I began to want knowledge (it was too scary before that) I found BB.  People had a lot of symptoms in the taper that I had after and vice versa.  We are going to celebrate when that window opens.  It's going to be awesome, so look for it...expect it.. when you wake up look for it in your brain. It's going to be there one of these days...

 

 

Life- praying right now!! 

[[Gr...]]

Hi everyone. I had some really bad stress thrown at me today and my blood pressure is very high for me. I ask that you please pray that it passes. Im in a anxious mode as this situation that happened to me would cause anyone to be anxious but I do not feel that I am in a wave. Just dealing with a reality and it is not nice but overcoming . Sorry that I do not want to talk about what it is now but I ask for prayers that I can learn how to deal with all this stress. I decide not to have my surgery tomorrow as my meniscus is not the problem --turns out possible arthritis. I am kind of happy about that as I feared the w/d from whatever drug they put me on to go under. That is a positive -- maybe I get some physical therapy. I am concerned about the stress and my blood pressure. Please pray for me.

 

Life

 

You're in my prayers, Life.  Don't worry.  It will work out.  you always worry, and it always works out.

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies....just a check in.....my terrible morning gave way to a nice WINDOW ( have mercy!....) by 1pm...who knows why..it just happened. Seems to be more and more of a pattern. The head pressure stuff still scares me crazy...and then it goes away...and then it comes back making it impossible to hang a possible cause on it. ...I know the low dose atenolol is part of it...but I also think w/d is the underlying trigger and at some point will heal on its own.

....I had a wonderful...wonderful...wonderful time reading to the 3 year olds.....it just made my spirit sing to be with those little sparkles. ..Peace,  I chose " The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything "...( a Halloween story for sure but a never fail kid grabber ),  they love it so.  When I was teaching I had it out year round. I have to shorten some of the text for 3 year olds but they totally get all the repetitive interactive phrases and it is challenging enough to capture the 3s who are early learners. I also did " The Very Hungry Bear and the Red Ripe Strawberry "...and I ended up with "The Runaway Bunny "....because the "The Very Hungry Bear......." is just too exciting,  have to follow with something soothing and rhythmic....well anyway I had the time of my life...so so fun and I felt connected and clear all the way through...

......I was do thankful for a window this afternoon. I didn't give s/x one thought while reading ...I had a little residual anxiety on the way home but it was brief.

....HealingHope thank you so much for your post. It is helping me remain hopeful and trusting the process. I am ok with 75-80% if it is consistent. You are right about looking all the way back to last year. Last year at this time I literally could not get out of bed and was too afraid to take a bath and couldn't read because of constant eye twitching. I was having panic attacks and brutal health fears and intrusive thoughts. Months 5-7...all the way to 8 were a nightmare of new physical s/x....but all that was LAST YEAR...I am far from healed,  but the improvement is undeniable and if I am not in a wave I can remind myself of all of that..

.....I am hoping for another good day tomorrow...for all of us. 

.......Life...take good care of your b/p.. mine was 160/80 this morning for the entire morning but came down through the day with the help of very little atenolol. Will your doctor give you a script for a b/p medication that you can use on an as needed basis. Epsome salt bath soaks also bring b/p right down,  but you have to soak for at least 20 minutes. You are managing a lot of stress really well. We are all following you to the one year mark.

....I am just going to close by telling all of you that today by afternoon my day felt completely normal...like the days of my 'used to be days '...I felt completely normal ...and happy. Healing is going to happen for all of us...our worst days are behind us...our best days are right in front of us

.....wishing everyone a better tomorrow.....coop

[[Mo...]]

Coop!!!  Wonderful news!  I can see you reading the stories to the little ones.  What a great report to go to sleep to.  Here's to waking with a window!  I'm sorry about the bp, but so glad things went well.

 

Sleep well everyone,

MommyR

[[No...]]

Good Morning Folks ... still running on "low batteries" ... spent a lot of "energy" the last few weeks ... for me, certainly too much ... my mood is good, not depressed or sad ... more like my "spirit" is willing ... my body just ain't ...

 

Just need to give it some time for the "re-charge" ... when I get a good dose of this benzo-like flu I just wait ... as they say in those commercials ... "the pause that refreshes" ...

 

Have a good Thursday ...

[[je...]]

Coop- that is so cool that your window opened up just in time for story time!! Sounds like you had just as much fun (if not more) than the kiddos! I'm so proud of you

Good morning Nova! I hope your day gets better and your body starts to cooperate, but it's great that your mood is good

 

I have a lot of stress coming up in the next few weeks and I don't feel up for handling it. My sister is coming into town, my overbearing, control freak sister. Who by the way has the perfect house, perfect kids, ms popularity, successful at everything she does and then there's me. Ugh this is gonna be a tough week, she knows nothing about my w/d and I don't want to tell her for obvious reasons. She is very critical of me and likes to point out how I don't have any friends, need to be more social, should be doing this or that with my kids. She will be staying with her sister in law who she is very close to, so I'm not sure how much of her I will see. I'm feeling okay today, with lots of anxiety. I hope your all doing well, jenny

[[...]]

Good morning all!

 

Coop, so happy for your window!!

 

Nova, you sound stable! That's about where I am, tired and about "the same", which is better than a wave, so I'll settle in and let my healing happen!

 

Jenny, I hope you can do well this week! You have done so awesome! You are Ms. Perfect! Cause look what you are overcoming!!

 

To all, I hope you get relief and a big window!!

 

[[be...]]

Coop- that is so cool that your window opened up just in time for story time!! Sounds like you had just as much fun (if not more) than the kiddos! I'm so proud of you

Good morning Nova! I hope your day gets better and your body starts to cooperate, but it's great that your mood is good

 

I have a lot of stress coming up in the next few weeks and I don't feel up for handling it. My sister is coming into town, my overbearing, control freak sister. Who by the way has the perfect house, perfect kids, ms popularity, successful at everything she does and then there's me. Ugh this is gonna be a tough week, she knows nothing about my w/d and I don't want to tell her for obvious reasons. She is very critical of me and likes to point out how I don't have any friends, need to be more social, should be doing this or that with my kids. She will be staying with her sister in law who she is very close to, so I'm not sure how much of her I will see. I'm feeling okay today, with lots of anxiety. I hope your all doing well, jenny

 

Jenny, I have one of those sisters. She paid me a visit the other day and I'm still trying to regroup from her visit. I told my husband that when I heal I have a mouthful of words for people that love to bring me down. Or, maybe I won't wait, I think it would be very therapeutic for me to just let it RIP....hmmm.