6-12 month thread....

[[...]]

Hi Sky!!

 

Greenice, I'm glad it's breaking for you!! Any improvement is awesome!!

 

[[mr...]]

Hi all

 

Coop -- thank you for the information regarding the propranolol. I plan to continue use only as needed, because I think I can maneuver through without it With my Father in heaven, the support here, my husband's constant encouragement, etc, I can do this, I believe. It has not been easy thus far, and of course I am just wanting relief, but so do all of us, right? And the blessed assurance about this is, it is happening even as we speak! Relief and 110% healing is happening and manifesting every millisecond of every day in me and all of you. Praise God for that!

 

Watching Mrs. Doubtfire; I'll be back later I'm sure Take care for now buddies,

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

Hi all

 

Coop -- thank you for the information regarding the propranolol. I plan to continue use only as needed, because I think I can maneuver through without it With my Father in heaven, the support here, my husband's constant encouragement, etc, I can do this, I believe. It has not been easy thus far, and of course I am just wanting relief, but so do all of us, right? And the blessed assurance about this is, it is happening even as we speak! Relief and 110% healing is happening and manifesting every millisecond of every day in me and all of you. Praise God for that!

 

Watching Mrs. Doubtfire; I'll be back later I'm sure Take care for now buddies,

 

Mrs.

 

Lol, sound like the lil engine that could! "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."

 

Okay, off to Mrs. Doubtfire for realises this time

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

I'm so glad so many are in a good day. Greenice. SkyHD. What a well deserved relief.

 

MommyR, Nova, Coop  

You are all so wise, so patient. I'm having a calm inside of me today. I wonder if I'm finally moving towards acceptance. Oh, how sweet it would be to stop fighting so hard. Just to linger in the backyard with my old pup, drinking water from a mason jar. Without thinking about whether or not I'll function at work, at the next potluck, t ball practice. Oh my, could I really take a different approach? So much of the fight in me comes from the fear, fear that this won't end. Your post speaks volumes to me, MommyR. "Unless I have a guarantee it will be over one day and then I can rest in it." How do I find that guarantee? How do you trust this? It's like believing in unicorns. Though I used that phrase with my therapist and he said, "I've never seen a unicorn but I have seen lots of people recover from psych meds." So, I guess that's a vote of confidence. I'd love to see a unicorn.

 

Coop- I am so much like you. High standards, clear vision, only my version of the best will do and I will work myself into the ground to make it so. This experience is pushing me out of that. But I'm not sure I'll carry it forward. I hope I learn my lessons, slay my dragons like you MommyR. I'm still seeing what these dragons truly look like, they've been living in the cave with me since I was a very little girl. I think I'm finally out of shortcuts. I will continue with comfort measures, but no new supplements or medications. The idea of acceptance is not 'lala' . It's actually the greatest act of courage as far as I'm concerned. You are not a wimpy woman, Coop, despite your attempts to convince us otherwise. You are courageous, tenacious, wise and a healer. I'm so glad you're here. 

 

 

Peace2

[[...]]

Peace, I am so happy to hear about your calmness! Improvement I'd say, and any improvement is so awesome!

 

[[Gr...]]

I'm so glad so many are in a good day. Greenice. SkyHD. What a well deserved relief.

 

MommyR, Nova, Coop  

You are all so wise, so patient. I'm having a calm inside of me today. I wonder if I'm finally moving towards acceptance. Oh, how sweet it would be to stop fighting so hard. Just to linger in the backyard with my old pup, drinking water from a mason jar. Without thinking about whether or not I'll function at work, at the next potluck, t ball practice. Oh my, could I really take a different approach? So much of the fight in me comes from the fear, fear that this won't end. Your post speaks volumes to me, MommyR. "Unless I have a guarantee it will be over one day and then I can rest in it." How do I find that guarantee? How do you trust this? It's like believing in unicorns. Though I used that phrase with my therapist and he said, "I've never seen a unicorn but I have seen lots of people recover from psych meds." So, I guess that's a vote of confidence. I'd love to see a unicorn.

 

Coop- I am so much like you. High standards, clear vision, only my version of the best will do and I will work myself into the ground to make it so. This experience is pushing me out of that. But I'm not sure I'll carry it forward. I hope I learn my lessons, slay my dragons like you MommyR. I'm still seeing what these dragons truly look like, they've been living in the cave with me since I was a very little girl. I think I'm finally out of shortcuts. I will continue with comfort measures, but no new supplements or medications. The idea of acceptance is not 'lala' . It's actually the greatest act of courage as far as I'm concerned. You are not a wimpy woman, Coop, despite your attempts to convince us otherwise. You are courageous, tenacious, wise and a healer. I'm so glad you're here. 

 

 

Peace2

 

Peace, if this experience does nothing else, it made me humble.  I am not calling the shots in my life, or anyone else's.  There truly is a power greater than myself, whatever I choose to call it.  I have had to learn to let go 100 times a day, and just let it all be.  Deep in my heart I believe everyone mostly recovers, and that I will, too.  I just don't like the timeframe, lol.  We'll all get there.

[[je...]]

Hi guys,

 

Lots going on here today! I'm actually in a good window today, I can't even believe it! Just yesterday I was crying and saying I'm never gonna get better. These drugs sure do mess with your mind in a serious way. Its absolutely crazy to me that you can feel miserable one day and fine the next-- I will never understand it.

 

Peace-- I have had many a meltdown myself, sometimes its needed. Im so glad you are feeling a little calmer. How's the depression? I think of you everyday and our kids, and it really helps me to know I'm not the only mommy on here dealing with this, I'm so lucky to have met you.

Greenice-- so great to hear your doing better, I've missed you!

Sky-- I've had the lump in my throat since I jumped, it comes and goes for me. Sorry you are having a hard time reading, feel better soon.

Coop-- you are sounding so good, I'm so very happy for you!

Hi everyone-- Nova, gmit, mommy,Beulah, Mrs, Drew and all!

Lisa-- how are you doing? Miss your posts.

Ama-- his are you? How's the insomnia? Miss hearing from you

[[No...]]

Hi Jenny ... so glad you are having a good day ... you deserve it ... if you figure these "cycles" out let us know ... I have given up trying ... not a "lousy" day for me ... just the old ear pressure thingie ... got my little apartment patio finished ... I like it ... a quiet place with some herbs and flowers and waving grasses ...

 

Enjoy your day ...

[[mr...]]

To the Benzo Voice that says "You can't" or "Its over if you do _____" or "You're done" over and over:

 

Eat s***.

 

I CAN.

 

Its NOT over if I do ________.

 

I'm not done.

 

It ain't over. And the end of the story says I WIN. Thank you Lord for the victory.

 

Take care buddies,

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

Jenny, SO happy for you!! May your window forever stay wide open!!

 

Nova, you described my day perfectly!

 

Mrs., love your attitude!!

 

:smitten:

[[Mo...]]

Jenny - Happy Dance!!!  I am soooooo happy for you.  Now stay window, stay!

 

Peace - Proof of unicorns.. googled this...

 

In the manuscript Transactions of the Zealand Academy of Sciences at Flushing (published 1792). The account was transmitted to the society in 1791, from the Cape of Good Hope, by Mr. Henry Cloete.

“This animal resembled a horse, and was of a light-gray color, with white stripes under the lower jaw. It had a single horn, directly in front, as long as one’s arm and at the base about as thick. Towards the middle the horn was somewhat flattened, but had a sharp point; it was not attached to the bone of the forehead, but fixed only in the skin.

“The head was like that of the horse, and the size also about the same. The hoofs were round, like those of a horse, but divided below, like those of oxen. This remarkable animal was shot between Table Mountain and Hippopotamus River, about sixteen days’ journey on horseback from Cambedo, which would be about a month’s journey in ox-wagons from Capetown.

“Mr. Cloete mentions, that several different natives and Hottentots testify to the existence of a similar animal with one horn, of which they profess to have seen drawings by hundreds. He supposes that it would not be difficult to obtain one of these animals, if desired. His letter is dated at the Cape, April 8, 1791.”  So there! 

 

Coop - How awesomely brave you were on Sunday.  I see the post GreenIce quoted.  How are you today?  I hear ya on the perfectionist things, except it's too much for me anymore.  I find middle ground now.  My counselor has warned me against black and white thinking and all or nothing mentality.  She said it's a new problem she is seeing in counseling.  Hope I am saying that right.  Perfectionists who don't get anything done??  Something like that. 

 

GMIT- New job?  When do you start?

 

Sky- I had the lump in my throat too, but it eventually goes away.  It used to be attached to dp but now it just comes on it's own.  Good to see you.  You did a wonderful job communicating your note.  Just come on and say hi and we will respond.

 

GreenIce- I am at 9mo too.  Two hour commute.. wow.  When do you start?  I am so glad to read it is breaking for you. 

 

Mrs- How as Mrs. Doubtfire?  You inspired me to watch Ella Enchanted.  Pretty good stuff!  Good attitude. 

 

Can I take a moment to mourn my hair?  It used to be bouncy, shiny and I could count the number of grays hidden beneath the color.  Now it's dry, frizzy, thin and full of gray!!  Did you guys lose hair during the taper??  Mine was breaking and coming out but I have a ton of it so I didn't notice until now.  It's thick at the base near my head, but you get 3 inches out and it's thin.  I also have a rim of regrowth around the outside of my face that isn't long enough for pony tails.  And don't get me started on the lines on my forehead and bags under my eyes.  I used to be able to take a good selfie.. BUT NOOOOOOOOO... not anymore.  I have to photoshop that baby.  Maybe some Omega 3?  I don't know, but it's ruined the idea of a tummy tuck because they love to give a benzo before and after.  Yes, I believe it picking up what God gave me and putting it back in it's place.  Maybe spanx will have to do it.  Okay.. Just wanted to gripe a minute.  I'm done.

 

Had some major spiking fear at the office.  Now it's mellowed.  Peace.. I am so so happy with your doctor.  Is that a picture of your child? 

 

MommyR

 

 

 

[[He...]]

Today has been a good day.  I woke up with a sick and nervous stomach and could feel myself wanting to just stay in my bed and hide, but I decided the answer was NO.  I decided that I was going to celebrate life, to embrace all the blessings that I have, to focus on the good and ignore the yuck.  I spent the morning with my sister and her kids before they left to go home to WI, and I cried saying goodbye but rejoiced that we spent 2 weeks together.  I tutored a student after a last-minute request from his mom.  I made a menu for the week, along with a grocery list, and went shopping.  I have 2 loaves of banana bread in the oven for my husband who loves it (I can't remember the last time I made any for him).  We are going to have dinner as a family tonight. 

 

I am realizing that I can truly FEEL!  Love, joy, sadness (not despair), excitement, nervousness (not horrible anxiety), anticipation.  What a blessing!  I don't have to fake it anymore.  I am recognizing that my husband and daughters are trusting that I am back.  This makes my mommy heart sing!  This past month, my 13th benzo free, has shown some of the deepest healing that I have had yet, not just to me but to my family.

 

I continue to lift you all in prayer.  You are not much behind me and there is wonderful healing just ahead. 

[[Mo...]]

HH!!!!  I can see it.. the whole glorious day.. you waking and all the emotions and participating.  The banana bread and family dinner!!

 

What a wonderful description!  My mommy heart is singing with you!  That's right, no more faking it.  Congratulations and I am celebrating for you over here!!  Keep us posted dear HH!!  Hugs to the girls and hubby. 

[[mr...]]

HH,

 

Wrapping my mind around the fact that life will be sweet again -- wahoo!! So happy for you

 

Thanks for the post Provides such hope!

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

MommyR- I do kind of believe in unicorns. I'm curious by nature. I think that's part of why I'm still clomping along. I want to see what's out there and what's going to happen next. Thanks for doing the research.

 

I'm sorry about your hair. Lookin goofy does not make this any easier. I cut off all my hair during taper and it grew back in corkscrew curls. I always had a wave but now I look like Shirley Temple with lines and bags and more gray strands than I can count. I hear people often look and feel ten years younger once healed. Lets hold out for that, my dear.

 

I'm sorry you had fear at the office. I'm glad it mellowed and you are now home safe and sound. How's the project going?

 

Peace2

[[pe...]]

Jenny- oh, yea! Window for you! I'm so glad for this news after your last awful wave. Maybe the idea that big waves mean big healing has some validity. I hope it lasts and lasts for you.

Peace2

[[pe...]]

HH

Hurray for you and your day and all the people who were able to share it with you! I love every detail and am so glad you shared your day with us. I can't wait to see what the next weeks bring. Please keep sharing. Just like your name, all of your stories bring me healing and hope. 

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies....wow...people are sounding good tonight...and strong..." oh yes I can Benzo...eat **** "...lol...that's the spirit Mrs. ....Green,  you captured it in a nutshell " I let go a hundred times a day "..that says it all. I am so very happy to see you back on.You got me through such a dark month a few months back. Nova...I have a patio garden too...some herbs and geraniums and tomatoes....hope it is just ear pressure and not the whole head pressure...You are such an example of it is what it is until it isn't. I am still wobbly with acceptance but like Green..learning 100 times a day.I follow you like a laser Nova.

....JENNY!!....happy happy window...you so have it coming...so glad for you.

...Peace...I am with your therapist...I don't know about unicorns but I do know ( which I did not until month 8.5) at least 90% of the time that I am healing. It still doesn't take much to give me moments of doubt but I am getting down to 50 times a day of.  letting go. I think it is ok to be passionate and driven and.                     

convicted. and unwavering in the things we. care about. The.  ....  trick.  for me had been to narrow it down to one or two priorities...my family and when I was working my teaching. I hope to recover fully and work on universal best practice advocacy...but I am not there yet and think I probably wont be until well into year 2. ...You really are making progress Peace. It is just so painful and frustrating to feel like we are constantly putting our lives on hold. I sometimes feel that I am forever waiting for the ' rinse cycle '

....Gmit...you sound like you are holding on..." holding on " and " letting go "....talk about the Ying and Yang of things..lol

.....Lisa...thinking of you...hope all is well.

.....HH...that is such a sign of healing ..to move forward when we don't feel like it...and feeling the shift from desperate to worried or nervous as opposed to white knuckle anxiety...There is so much good on the posts tonight.

....I went to the bookstore yesterday with a friend and had such a good time...some moments of little panic feelings,  like Nova describes..just nibbles but 2 months ago it would have morphed into an anxiety bordering panic and I would have been have been pushed in to d/r. I was tired the rest of the evening. Amazing how vulnerable we remain to stimulation even mild excitement for me can cause anxiety. Today my daughter came for lunch and it was wonderful,  but my head pressure reappeared with a headache so I have probably pushed it a little. So tonight I am back to an epsome salt hot bath soak and The Big Bang Theory and deep breathing my health fears into submission....trying to ' let it be '....still...it is so so much better than month 6/7...I think I can see this through if I never have to go back to month 6/7....

.......goodnight dear friends...wishing you all a peaceful night and a better tomorrow...here 's to unicorns and Mrs Doubtfire...one of my favorite movies as my son calls me " Sally Fields "...better than how my daughter sees me.." Diane Keaton "...well I am old as both of them....I want to be Meryl Streep ...who do you want to be...besides yourself benzo free?.....coop

[[li...]]

Today has been a good day.  I woke up with a sick and nervous stomach and could feel myself wanting to just stay in my bed and hide, but I decided the answer was NO.  I decided that I was going to celebrate life, to embrace all the blessings that I have, to focus on the good and ignore the yuck.  I spent the morning with my sister and her kids before they left to go home to WI, and I cried saying goodbye but rejoiced that we spent 2 weeks together.  I tutored a student after a last-minute request from his mom.  I made a menu for the week, along with a grocery list, and went shopping.  I have 2 loaves of banana bread in the oven for my husband who loves it (I can't remember the last time I made any for him).  We are going to have dinner as a family tonight. 

 

I am realizing that I can truly FEEL!  Love, joy, sadness (not despair), excitement, nervousness (not horrible anxiety), anticipation.  What a blessing!  I don't have to fake it anymore.  I am recognizing that my husband and daughters are trusting that I am back.  This makes my mommy heart sing!  This past month, my 13th benzo free, has shown some of the deepest healing that I have had yet, not just to me but to my family.

 

I continue to lift you all in prayer.  You are not much behind me and there is wonderful healing just ahead. 

 

Healinghope,

 

We are fighting through this! I am so happy for you! I too am feeling much better although last night my mild-to medium wave turned full blown when on top of everything that was stressful my wife and I had a major disagreement that got heated. All is well though. I drove 10 hours today to our Florida home and and I put on the audio tape of the "Practicing the Power of Now" and practiced being present for ten hours. It was blissful at times and every once in a while I caught myself saying "yeah, but what about that wave you had yesterday!" I answered back every time "God has healed me! So what if I had  wave yesterday. Yeterday is histry and today is a mystery!" I also remind myself even when I was in that wave last week how much healing has occurred. It like the beast can not confuse me with the facts - even in a slight wave. I am starting to feel again too. That is all a blessing. I also know that as we re-enter we have to do our part to overcome natural barriers. I also am light on myself now -- especially after much stress. Tomorrow off to a board meeting and a pre operation consultation. friday the surgery. 

 

life

[[li...]]

Jenny - Happy Dance!!!  I am soooooo happy for you.  Now stay window, stay!

 

Peace - Proof of unicorns.. googled this...

 

In the manuscript Transactions of the Zealand Academy of Sciences at Flushing (published 1792). The account was transmitted to the society in 1791, from the Cape of Good Hope, by Mr. Henry Cloete.

“This animal resembled a horse, and was of a light-gray color, with white stripes under the lower jaw. It had a single horn, directly in front, as long as one’s arm and at the base about as thick. Towards the middle the horn was somewhat flattened, but had a sharp point; it was not attached to the bone of the forehead, but fixed only in the skin.

“The head was like that of the horse, and the size also about the same. The hoofs were round, like those of a horse, but divided below, like those of oxen. This remarkable animal was shot between Table Mountain and Hippopotamus River, about sixteen days’ journey on horseback from Cambedo, which would be about a month’s journey in ox-wagons from Capetown.

“Mr. Cloete mentions, that several different natives and Hottentots testify to the existence of a similar animal with one horn, of which they profess to have seen drawings by hundreds. He supposes that it would not be difficult to obtain one of these animals, if desired. His letter is dated at the Cape, April 8, 1791.”  So there! 

 

Coop - How awesomely brave you were on Sunday.  I see the post GreenIce quoted.  How are you today?  I hear ya on the perfectionist things, except it's too much for me anymore.  I find middle ground now.  My counselor has warned me against black and white thinking and all or nothing mentality.  She said it's a new problem she is seeing in counseling.  Hope I am saying that right.  Perfectionists who don't get anything done??  Something like that. 

 

GMIT- New job?  When do you start?

 

Sky- I had the lump in my throat too, but it eventually goes away.  It used to be attached to dp but now it just comes on it's own.  Good to see you.  You did a wonderful job communicating your note.  Just come on and say hi and we will respond.

 

GreenIce- I am at 9mo too.  Two hour commute.. wow.  When do you start?  I am so glad to read it is breaking for you. 

 

Mrs- How as Mrs. Doubtfire?  You inspired me to watch Ella Enchanted.  Pretty good stuff!  Good attitude. 

 

Can I take a moment to mourn my hair?  It used to be bouncy, shiny and I could count the number of grays hidden beneath the color.  Now it's dry, frizzy, thin and full of gray!!  Did you guys lose hair during the taper??  Mine was breaking and coming out but I have a ton of it so I didn't notice until now.  It's thick at the base near my head, but you get 3 inches out and it's thin.  I also have a rim of regrowth around the outside of my face that isn't long enough for pony tails.  And don't get me started on the lines on my forehead and bags under my eyes.  I used to be able to take a good selfie.. BUT NOOOOOOOOO... not anymore.  I have to photoshop that baby.  Maybe some Omega 3?  I don't know, but it's ruined the idea of a tummy tuck because they love to give a benzo before and after.  Yes, I believe it picking up what God gave me and putting it back in it's place.  Maybe spanx will have to do it.  Okay.. Just wanted to gripe a minute.  I'm done.

 

Had some major spiking fear at the office.  Now it's mellowed.  Peace.. I am so so happy with your doctor.  Is that a picture of your child? 

 

MommyR

 

Love you comments. You are truly an inspiration!

 

life

[[Co...]]

Mommy...yes...my hair came out in month 3...in month 6 it started to grow in again..white with baby fine ends..curly on one side...stick straight on the other side...a new part right across my forehead leaving a noticeable gap between my hairline and what used to be bangs...unbelievable...like Peace I had it cut short short because there just was not another option. Even with mascara and a little make-up my four year old grandson asked me,  " Nonni are you going to be a man for summer? "....had us all rolling on the ground....hope it comes back before I want to go back to volunteer in the classrooms.......coop

[[li...]]

Hi GreenIce,

 

it's just that writing seems to get me very agitated. Plus, I can't read anything without paragraphs, it just knocks me off my feet.

 

Anyway, today is a really good day. I didn't believe it at first but now I am ready to acknowledge it. It would be nice if it stayed  this way !

 

Wish you welll everybody.

 

Ski nice to see you back and yesssssssssss! You are feeling good. It can and will last a lifetime. Believe in it!

 

life

[[pe...]]

Mommy...yes...my hair came out in month 3...in month 6 it started to grow in again..white with baby fine ends..curly on one side...stick straight on the other side...a new part right across my forehead leaving a noticeable gap between my hairline and what used to be bangs...unbelievable...like Peace I had it cut short short because there just was not another option. Even with mascara and a little make-up my four year old grandson asked me,  " Nonni are you going to be a man for summer? "....had us all rolling on the ground....hope it comes back before I want to go back to volunteer in the classrooms.......coop

 

Laughed out loud at your grandson's remark. Thanks for the chuckle.

Peace2

[[li...]]

Hi,

many of you may not know me, I come and go and cannot write a lot.

 

I just wanted to say hello to you all.

 

I have this writing problem, I mix my letters as I type, it started  a couple of months ago. I tried to rebel to it, carrying on as usal but it became so frustrating it mad all of my symptoms worse so I gave up.

It is next to impossible to be on BB and not want to write and comment, and talk to other people so I gave up coming to the forum at all except to read up on a thing or two.

If I do my touch typing exercises I am fine, I don't think about letters and it works. But when writing normally I start to invert everything so it must be my benzo brain.

 

I miss the company, I hate having to do this alone.

 

I guess I will write when I can, when I have healed.

 

I would appreciate if somebody sent me good thoughts.

 

My newest symptom is the lump in the throat. I am skipping meals, I have notice it gets so much worse right after eating. After 3 sleepless nights due to the lump in the throat I tried skipping dinner and it has been working.

 

Other things are more or less the same, heart, vibrations et al !

 

See you soon and I wish you all well, sorry the post is a little melancholic. I hate the  offline isolation , having also to endure it online is a little bit much.

 

My only comfort is that after this I will be stronger and better. Hell of a way to get there , though !

 

Sky, I do not know if you have a smart phone but if you do you can talk into it and it will do most of the spelling and word phrases. I have gotten on BB on my apple and used the dictation. Just a thought!

 

Life

[[li...]]

Peace..and Mommy...my heart is with you both...I could cry for you. ....Peace.  you are exactly where I was at month 6..desperate...mad as hell...in a full blown melt down. It is hell. I am a bit of a control freak and somewhat of a perfectionists...I developed my own school because I could not not not let my standards flex ...even a little. I did not ' work well ' with other administrators...at all....kids and parents and other teachers ( of my choosing..lol).....yep....get in my way or mess with my vision of infant/toddler best practice...nobody was happy. So 'accepting ' that I could not influence my w/d ...was spit and p***  frustrating. Somewhere along the line after trying several ' short cuts '...( vitamins,  herbs, " supplements etc etc) without relief and often with worse s/x I just realized ( after reading a LOT of posts and success stories and books) I just had to, in Nova 's words,  " ride the wave "....;using that metaphor ....you will get to shore faster and easier and with out exhausting your self if you 'ride ' the wave instead of flailing and trying to swim against it......To me its like the Ghandi thing....resistance through non- resistance.  ...I don't think of it as giving in.  I think of it as not giving Benzo Beast the fight it wants...like dealing with toxic people...don't engage. I know this all sounds so lalala...it is really really hard. I just try to get through each day ...I try to ride the waves and jump up and down with joy and gratitude in the windows....it is so not easy but I don't know how else to survive. ......Peace and Mommy.....this will get better...if it can get better for me it can get better for all of us ...I am the least likely to crawl through this...a sliver in my finger is unbearable...that's thevkind of wimpybI am....but here I am....not healed but better and getting better yet.

......Do whatever helps you tolerate the s/x and know that you are one day closer and you are supported by BBs who care about you....coop

 

Coop I remember how many struggles you were going through at 6 months. So much so that you at started this thread! Thank you!

 

life