6-12 month thread....

[[No...]]

Coop ... glad to hear your good news ... we keep going day to day and the healing continues ... thanks for your good news ...

[[Co...]]

Nova...Congrats on the planters...I know the creakiness that you speak of...I was mostly in bed from June of last year until June of this year.. Pt just about made me cry when we started working on my leg...lol...Nova you sound better . I am so glad to see that...carry on wise one...coop

[[...]]

Nova, sounds like you worked hard!! Good exercise! 

 

Coop, how wonderful!! Love hearing you're good!

 

[[Co...]]

Life...I am so sorry that you are going through sad family conflict. It sounds like you are being squeezed into a situation in which you are being asked to choose one treasured relationship over another treasured relationship. Very unfair. It seems that your brother is hurting so much that he wants to hurt your sister in law through alienating her from the family that she has become a loved member of. In my experience these hostilities seem to cool and settle over time and warring ex spouses go o. to have at least cordial friendships with one another. I am sorry for you that your brotherr is alienating himself from you too. Tell him that you miss him...he may not be able to return your love and friendship until he is not so hurt and angry. Just be there for him as long as it takes....brother bonds are forever Hopefully when he is able to move on he will be able to honor your friendship with your sister in law....another healing situation that takes time time time...The. temporary loss of a family relationship would make anyone ..benzo recovery or not...sad and depressed. ...So sorry Life...this will get better too....coop

[[li...]]

Life...I am so sorry that you are going through sad family conflict. It sounds like you are being squeezed into a situation in which you are being asked to choose one treasured relationship over another treasured relationship. Very unfair. It seems that your brother is hurting so much that he wants to hurt your sister in law through alienating her from the family that she has become a loved member of. In my experience these hostilities seem to cool and settle over time and warring ex spouses go o. to have at least cordial friendships with one another. I am sorry for you that your brotherr is alienating himself from you too. Tell him that you miss him...he may not be able to return your love and friendship until he is not so hurt and angry. Just be there for him as long as it takes....brother bonds are forever Hopefully when he is able to move on he will be able to honor your friendship with your sister in law....another healing situation that takes time time time...The. temporary loss of a family relationship would make anyone ..benzo recovery or not...sad and depressed. ...So sorry Life...this will get better too....coop

 

Coop, thank you so much. I'm holding my own and feel better now. It seems like the benzo "loneliness liar" was after me for about two days. I feel better now. Its a lonely journey this benzo with this beast. I just read and responded to a poster that was  in a world of pain on the main Withdrawal threads. He was off just 19 days off; he wrote a post that hit home for me. Every symptom he had, many for which I forgot that I had during w/d, was something I could relate to. When you look back 10 months it shows you how much healing has really taken place. For that I am grateful to God. We are truly healing!

 

life

[[je...]]

Coop- another window wow!! You are on your way, you sound like your doing so much better iam so extremely happy for you. I still remember how frustrated you were a few months ago, and now your sounding really good!

Life-- I'm so sorry to hear of your sadness, I know how close the brother relationship can be so this must be very difficult. Keep praying for him to come around. ((Hugs))

Nova-- you sound good, glad you got your planters done!

 

 

 

Well guys on a positive note I've been so focused on my head sx  that I just realized I haven't had my benzo belly in weeks and that used to be one of my worst sx . so either my sx  are just cycling or maybe I am getting better in other areas-- who knows?? Love you all , jenny

[[pe...]]

So much good news! And I want to reply to all of it but dr is now my constant companion and I'm about to float away. Did anyone else struggle with dr? Anything help?

 

Hurray Coop on the closeness of your WINDOWS. I'm so glad you have a wise doctor. I think it makes a world of difference! Keep it up Coop. You are doing great!

 

Congrats on your planters, Nova. Are they natural wood, stained or painted? That is a great accomplishment. That kind of thing takes some muscle and noise tolerance. Signs of healing that you managed all that.

 

Jenny! No more benzo belly. That's awesome. I'm sorry your head symptoms are causing problems. You've alluded to hormones so hopefully things will settle for you in a few days.

 

MommyR- I hope you had a lovely day with your children and the water.

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Dear MommyR...your kind words went straight to my heart. Thank you so very much. I am certainly no warrior woman..truely,  I am the wimpiest of girls. I simply had to get off the drug as it was making me sick sick sick...There was no way out for me except through. ..I went shaking and mad as hell all the way. Yes, at the beginning of summer ( maybe right at month 6 when. I was still very acute the sprinklers came on right under my beedroom window...I was so sensitive to sound it set off a panic that lasted for hours...

....I am small...with mostly white hair. I used to be a runner and a swimmer...do glad I did those things when I could. ..Children and teaching have been the loves of my life. My grandchildren are my heart and I want to be healed healed healed to be fully present in their lives. ...My daughter has gorgeous copper red hair as did my mother...so close there. I was an impassioned hippie girl in my youth..flowers in my hair and peace all the way...was not brave enough for the drug scene.  I was all about 'Women's Lib '...I am still a flaming progressive..practically a socialist ...lol. I live in the most red region of a predominantly blue state ( Washington State). I have 2 friends who share my political bent...lol

....Wow kind of nice to talk about my life in terms other than s/x and waves and windows. How about you? You certainly seem like a wonderfully skilled and creative writer. ...

....I hope others will jump on and tell us about themselves and their lives...

.......Thank you again MR...sending you thoughts for happy happy healing and joyous moments with your children...have a peaceful evening with good sleep....coop

 

[[it...]]

Month and half wave holy cow . in going through it now getting slammed all of six and seven is almost he like 3 days imvbaffled with intense pain and waves of horribleness I want to crawl and die somewhere. Ahhhhhh

[[li...]]

hi everyone. Feeling much better now although I have a general feeling of not wanting to do anything. I like it when I am excited about business deals or whatever. Not really excited about much today and feeling a bit bored. I'm ok with it though- its not a wave just a ho -hum day.

 

 

Life

[[je...]]

Glad your feeling better life! How is everyone doing today? kinda quiet on here.....

[[pe...]]

Super quiet. But I understand, I think. Some people are feeling  better and I imagine they are out living. Hurray! Some of us are in the swamp, or sitting on the banks taking a break. My husband has asked me to spend less time on bb and I'm trying to do that. Trying to see if taking a break will give me more time outside, meditating, exercising, resting. Today I napped, so that was good. I am sad, tired, having light dr, afraid it's never going to end. Pretty much everyday, without fail.

 

How are you, Jenny? I hope things are a better for you. 

Peace2

[[je...]]

Peace -- I'm so sorry you are still feeling down, I know its not easy. It will go away for you, its all the benzo lies that we've all heard before. I have felt lately that I'm on here too much too-- I wish I could stop focusing on how I feel 24/7. That is so great that you took a nap, I haven't had one in years! Thinking of you today 

[[je...]]

Oh and I'm feeling okay, still some mild head pressure and weird brain revving feeling that I don't know how to explain. High anxiety today, crazy nervous. Does this crap ever end??

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... got slammed this morning ... just sitting and holding it together ... same old stuff ... different month ... no joy in planter-ville today ...

 

Take Care ...

[[je...]]

Aww Nova, I'm so sorry. Rest up and maybe later it will lift a little.  Panterville will have to wait for a bit jenny

[[No...]]

Thanks Jenny ... this is disappointing ... but not surprising ... 

[[Co...]]

Peace and Jenny...it is good to take some breaks from BBs when you can. ..I can tell you though when you start feeling better you will naturally focus on other things in your life..like your mind turns off the obssession switch. I am having another good day and my mind is just all by itself thinking like it belongs to a normal person. I have had a few fleeting anxious thoughts..but they are more like bad memories...I had a sudden memory this afternoon of when I went to er and it scared me for a minute but I did some CBT and reasoned myself out of it and my mind went back to thinking about groceries...sort of by itself. ..On these recent days when I have been feeling better I have had less need to be on because my mind and I are busy with other things. But the frustrating thing is that we cant create this..it just happens. ...Peace,  Jenny and lovely Nova you arr all going to have better days again and I will be in the swamp...so don't go too far away on your good days. ..btw...I was on BBs constantly from taper through month 7.5...it was my lifeline.....coop

[[Co...]]

Peace...it is going to end... its just such a long journey...and we get so weary of it. The next few months should bring you some reliable healing. D/r is hard to slog through but for me it was more livable than constant anxiety...or head pressure. Are you noticing any pattern of one part of the day being better than the other half of the day?. It was right around month 7 for me that slowly things began to fall into a pattern of bad mornings but better afternoons. ..I am thinking of you Peace...coop.

[[...]]

Hi all ,wish I had something positive to share but I too am struggling to get by every hour. Went to bed last night with anxiety but was able to sleep. Woke up at 3am racing so took 5mg vistaril. My morning went from just anxiety to outa park wild. Went for my walk pushed down breakfast showered and hit the road.

 

The anxiety is so extreme that I just make it min by min. Then late afternoon it turns to desperation & depression. I feel so hopeless and think it will never end, then the tears roll down while driving.

 

62 days off of remeron and 7 1/2 months off of benzos. I'm sure I'm suffering from both but this is so intense regardless where it's coming from. I tend to think the super acute stuff is remeron cause I would expect to be in waves from benzo but not to this extreme. Has anyone experienced huge nonstop continuos extreme waves for several weeks straight? The kind of waves that r so bad and nonstop that you feel your going insane?

 

Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a break cause for the past 7 weeks it's usually been one day horrific next day tolerable. But the every other day tolerable days have been less.

 

If it's more the remeron WD I'm suffering from I may still have 4-6 more weeks to go. Some have said it starts to ease after 3 months. Don't know how I can pull another month at this level.

 

Pdoc said if things don't settle some in few weeks we may consider Doxipin. This would be last resort cause after all this torture I'd hate to start another med and not knowing that the end of rem WD  could be just around the corner.

Anyone familiar with Doxipin?

 

Itsmylife,peace,nova hoping for better days soon!

 

Thank you all, jrod

 

[[Fr...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

I have been trying to stay away a bit and don't have much good to report.  I had two decent days but even then I had some mild lower leg burning feelings.

 

Wednesday, the head pressure was so extreme I barely made it to 4 oclock when it eased up for 48 hours.  Now, I'm feeling sick again and scared.  So that's why I stay away.  I get really down.

 

I had my therapist phone meeting and she gives me coping tips but in bad times all I can do is repeat the affirmations and pray.  I do writing exercises and watch easy movies.  I walk everyday and ride my bike even when I feel sick.

 

I am so happy for those of you who are feeling better and feel bad for those who are sick.

 

Greenice wrote in her log and she sounds really down.

 

I think this thing had a way of wearing one down.

 

Love to you all,

Lisa

[[dr...]]

I hope all the sufferers get some relief soon.  I am happy to report I am in day two of a window. No morning yucks, very light head pressure, and mild tinnitus.  Have some other things but in comparison to what I was this is great. 

 

I hear ya lisa on this wearing one down. It's day after day.  I'm happy to get a window but I know it can shut at any moment. Regardless, we all need them.

[[je...]]

Hi jrod,

 

I'm so sorry for your suffering. I had a few hours today of extreme high anxiety, but then it calms down. I can't imagine having it all day, that is pure torture. I pray you get some relief soon. Hang in there!

 

Lisa- so glad to finally hear from you. Sorry you are still not feeling too well, its so tough day after day. We are all here for you. ((Hugs))

[[pe...]]

Good morning, buddies. I've decided to take a creative approach to my current state of recovery. I'm going to seek out and create as much positivity as I can and really watch how I think and talk about what I'm going through. Today, I'm awake and going for a jog and then we have two different gatherings with friends. My boys are also awake and jazzed because their dad let them make pancakes with chocolate chips and fresh made whipped cream.

 

Hopes for many bright spots in all your days! If you're up for it, share something you enjoyed about today. I'd love to hear about the big and small joys.

 

Peace2

[[No...]]

Hi Peace ... while churning through this wave I am glad Friday is over ... well, that's not much and that's all I have right now ... I know I am always "safe" ... I know this will be over someday ... there is joy in that for me ... and just sitting quietly amidst the turmoil ... feeling a breeze, watching a bird ... for me, being alive is a joy ... looking forward to the "possibilities" that are being created because I am doing this "process" ... and the "connection" that flows back and forth daily between us ... that is another joy ... within all this crazy confusion and unknowns I have a pocketful of joys ...