6-12 month thread....

[[be...]]

I'm not going anywhere. You guys are stuck with me. I will come here till this site no longer exists.

To many people suffering to leave. I am so grateful for this site and everyone here.

You guys have helped me more than you will ever know.

Ahhh, I love nights, My symptoms are low.

Have a restful night all.

[[je...]]

jenny , all you guys and gals are just too funny  -- we are were we are -- but me and you are in month 10.  I promise. They say that anxiety a condition dealing with doubt and fear. How bad is it when we doubt which month we are in? I am in month 10 and no one is going to take that away from me.  Are we a wacky group or what? I must admit I had a few giggles reading this thread today. Love to all and happy healing! 

 

life

 

LOL!! Life, I can always blame it on my benzo brain 

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies.. just stopping in for a quick close to this day...

....For all the 6/7 months off buds...don't give up...I was acute at least through month 6. It is very discouraging to get to month 6 and not see the improvement we expect after tapering. jumping and crawling through 6 months. Some of us hit a wall mentally at month 6. ...I am here to say that 2 months after losing hope and frantic that my life was forever going to be miserable I began to get better. ....Keep going with whatever strategies are helping you...catch a second breath..reframe your expectations. find your grit like you did at month 1/2...keep asking for support...read the success stories.  get extra rest ( even if you are not sleeping)...get mad..eat healthy...go for 2 more months..it does get better...We are all going to get to that year mark..together. It is so hard to believe that when you are still feeling mostly acute still.

.....We are all here for each other...everyone is healing ...wishing you all a restful night...coop

[[Co...]]

Nova...I am so happy that you are feeling better and getting relief from the head misery. Hope you had. great day meandering about some of your favorite places...rest well my friend..coop

[[Co...]]

My window is still wide open...I don't want to go to sleep because if it follows my pattern I will be back at baseline in the morning...which is not a bad baseline..still holding at 70-75, but my baseline is neutral and somewhat flat.  The happiness factor is what is still erratic and fleeting at baseline. However, at month 6 I would have considered my baseline as a window.

....I continued my day without one s/x...went shopping in a crowded book store..had half caf coffee with my friends, handled some momentary stress with my credit card, had a long happy joyful fun day...A look see into what healing will be more often than not ( even in normal life there are ho-hum, not great, stressful and sad days). ...Hoping for good sleep and a good day tomorrow..for all of us. Thank you to every one of you for all of the support and encouragement that I find in this group....coop

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... doing "okay" ... in what I call "the nibbles but no bites stage" again ... nice place to stop by between the waves and windows ... the coffee is okay and nobody is "rocking the boat" ...

 

Finally got most of the bits and pieces together to get our patio garden launched ... they finally finished re-surfacing all the patios on our building this spring ... we have waited two years to get ours done ... we were on the last run ... now we can set things up "permanently" ...

 

Doing this with "benzo brain" is quite comical ... at least my wife is enjoying "the show" ... the "math" thing on paper works every time ... getting from paper to "production" is another process all together ... she supervises ... I produce ... sort of ... one more trip to Home Depot "should" do it ... still can't figure out how when you divide 10 by 2 to get the five pieces I need for 2 planters I ended up with only 8 pieces ... maybe the crows are building a planter for their nest ... or else there is a black hole around here I haven't identified yet ...

 

Have a good Wednesday ...

[[...]]

Good morning Nova! Glad to hear you are doing alright!

 

Hope you have a great day!

 

[[je...]]

Hi Nova-- the benzo brain is quite funny isn't it! Hope your doing good

[[...]]

Hi all;

I'm 7 1/2 months out from my last benzo & 2 months from last dose of remeron which I was on for five months.

 

Being on the remeron since Jan/2014 helped me sleep the first month. Then I tried getting off it in feb but 9 days later it got ugly and reinstated 4 days after that to 1.87mg ,1/2 the prior dose I was on.

 

I was having problems with remeron mainly revving up after being on same dose for few weeks. I had to constantly reduce the dose until jumping off May31. The problem most likely was I found out through a gene test that I'm a slow metabolizer therefore the drug level would build up because of poor slow elimination.

 

I've been on this ride for months and at the awful level since end of April.

Being off the remeron is great but I suspect the symptoms of:

Crazy high anxiety

Fear

Depression

Desperation

Constant inner tension

Dizziness/vertigo

Headaches

Crying

Mental anguish

Tennitus

Shakiness

Etc.....

 

Is more remeron WD than any underlying benzo issues. Of coarse I may be wrong but with these sx mention and at the extreme level they present,I think it's more rem WD  than benzo at this point.

My pdoc is a veteran which understands benzo WD and the lengthly time involved for recovery. He says double whammy , Im defiantly in rem WD as well as underlying benzo issues.

 

There are lots of pep here on this board that have gone through similar events and some have been able to get past the WD's in a few weeks, but the other half have suffered heavy 3-4 months for WD to subside. It's hard to think at this degree of WD that I might have another month or two to go!

 

Again I cant say for sure the misery is purely rem WD but it sure doesn't feel anything like my firsts few weeks off of benzos. Sometimes it gets so bad I think of taking a small rescue dose of ambien but then I realize everything I've put into this and setback that may bring.

 

The anxiety is so intense that I wonder everyday how I will pull through. I have been on a every other day cycle of one day torture the next tolerable but now it's most days bad. I walk every day drive work some but most of the time with difficulty.

 

Well that's my current situation. Any encouragement appreciated.

 

Thank you all, jrod

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hello Jarod!

 

I'm sorry you are going through this!! You've sure made it through a lot already! You are doing great!!

 

Take care of yourself!

 

 

[[...]]

Thks GM

 

It's just so difficult most the time! Thx

[[pe...]]

I'm having a hard time. It's not over the top, it's just run of the mill awful. I'm so tired of it. My sleep has been peaceful for months. I woke up at 2:30 in the morning and could not get back to bed. I've been sitting with a weighty depression since then. Will it lift, who can say. Tread, tread, treading water.

 

Jarod- I'm sorry you're having symptoms and glad to hear you've got a knowing doctor. It's hard to say what's causing your symptoms. It seems like everyone of those could be from benzos, but the Remeron is surely playing into it too. As you can see from all the posts, many people still had symptoms at 7.5 months and longer. This is a long ride. I too took the genetic test and am a slow metabolizer. I wonder if that's part of many bb's stories.  I saw a neurologist a couple weeks ago who told me not to take medications and that hopefully I'll feel better a year from now. That would put me at 18 months. Long time. I hope you're feeling better before that and I hope you'll stuck around. This is a great group of buddies.

 

Nova- I'm impressed that you're taking on such a project. That takes some brain power. I'm sure it will be just lovely when it's all done.

 

Hi Lisa, Jenny, Coop, MommyR, HH, GMIT, Drew and everyone else visiting.

Peace2

[[...]]

Thk u Peace.

Yea that chemical depression is the Pitts! I had it since I woke up yesterday throughout the day. I'll have moments of feeling better then go right back down.

 

Hope yours passes quickly! Thanks again, J

[[Fr...]]

Jrod---I feel the same as you do.  All we can do is meet each day with acceptance and put one foot ahead of the other.

 

Healing prayers and thoughts to you all.

 

Lisa

[[li...]]

My window is still wide open...I don't want to go to sleep because if it follows my pattern I will be back at baseline in the morning...which is not a bad baseline..still holding at 70-75, but my baseline is neutral and somewhat flat.  The happiness factor is what is still erratic and fleeting at baseline. However, at month 6 I would have considered my baseline as a window.

....I continued my day without one s/x...went shopping in a crowded book store..had half caf coffee with my friends, handled some momentary stress with my credit card, had a long happy joyful fun day...A look see into what healing will be more often than not ( even in normal life there are ho-hum, not great, stressful and sad days). ...Hoping for good sleep and a good day tomorrow..for all of us. Thank you to every one of you for all of the support and encouragement that I find in this group....coop

 

Coop this is great news. Try not to read your baseline week to week as you will surely be frustrated. This healing is soooo slow that it can only be viewed from the prism of months. You are sooooooooooooooo healing!!!!

[[je...]]

Hi guys!

Peace I'm so sorry you are feeling down, do you think its related to tapering the ginko? Either way I pray it lifts soon.

Lisa- how are you feeling today?

Welcome jrod!! I'm so glad you joined us! You will soon find out how great the people are on this thread yes, very hard to say if its all benzos or the remeron. Either way we know the answer is time and we are all gonna make it!

 

[[li...]]

Hi all;

I'm 7 1/2 months out from my last benzo & 2 months from last dose of remeron which I was on for five months.

 

Being on the remeron since Jan/2014 helped me sleep the first month. Then I tried getting off it in feb but 9 days later it got ugly and reinstated 4 days after that to 1.87mg ,1/2 the prior dose I was on.

 

I was having problems with remeron mainly revving up after being on same dose for few weeks. I had to constantly reduce the dose until jumping off May31. The problem most likely was I found out through a gene test that I'm a slow metabolizer therefore the drug level would build up because of poor slow elimination.

 

I've been on this ride for months and at the awful level since end of April.

Being off the remeron is great but I suspect the symptoms of:

Crazy high anxiety

Fear

Depression

Desperation

Constant inner tension

Dizziness/vertigo

Headaches

Crying

Mental anguish

Tennitus

Shakiness

Etc.....

 

Is more remeron WD than any underlying benzo issues. Of coarse I may be wrong but with these sx mention and at the extreme level they present,I think it's more rem WD  than benzo at this point.

My pdoc is a veteran which understands benzo WD and the lengthly time involved for recovery. He says double whammy , Im defiantly in rem WD as well as underlying benzo issues.

 

There are lots of pep here on this board that have gone through similar events and some have been able to get past the WD's in a few weeks, but the other half have suffered heavy 3-4 months for WD to subside. It's hard to think at this degree of WD that I might have another month or two to go!

 

Again I cant say for sure the misery is purely rem WD but it sure doesn't feel anything like my firsts few weeks off of benzos. Sometimes it gets so bad I think of taking a small rescue dose of ambien but then I realize everything I've put into this and setback that may bring.

 

The anxiety is so intense that I wonder everyday how I will pull through. I have been on a every other day cycle of one day torture the next tolerable but now it's most days bad. I walk every day drive work some but most of the time with difficulty.

 

Well that's my current situation. Any encouragement appreciated.

 

Thank you all, jrod

 

Jrod

 

How are you? Welcome to the thread! I know what you mean. When I was taken off of benzos I was put on a  an SSRI. The worst thing that ever happened to me in this w/d was being on that med and coming off in w/d. I had crazy thoughts when I got off of VIIBRYD the SSRI. It made me into a lunatic. I had even sexual side effects that lasted over two month and some say they had sexual side effects for years. I glad I regain my sexuality back. Scariest thing I ever did. It was poison to me.  I cut it out cold turkey and it through me into a shitzo like condition. I was goggling Schizophrenia I was so messed up. I am now at 80 baseline and I am able to take on much stress without ever getting thrown into a wave. I am not out of the woods yet but I would say that I have been in a 3.5 week window and counting. I can think straight again, You will heal!

 

Life

[[it...]]

Hello guys I'm like 3 days away from month 7 . I had these expectations to only to be slammed the whole month with waves small windows crappy days OK days a few good days and horrific days changing minutely and hourly and daily. Been having the same feelings of depression and hopelesness and worrying of the future. Hopefully 7 brings a little happiness as I see by others with a better baseline that all I ask for lol. This is a great thread,I wish healing to all. I'm trying to keep an positive outlook as this van accelerate healing. I think will see big changes this next stretch as well. Hoping anyhow.

[[...]]

Sorry you're feeling bad! I hope it's better soon!

 

I had no morning "ick"! Feeling a tad tired, from taking the diphenhydramine for my allergic rash!

 

Window is officially closed! Had some stress last night, it has definitely gotten to me! Feeling horribly stressed/anxious! Trouble taking in a deep enough breath! Hope this passes soon!

 

This would have been day 15 in my window, such a bummer!!

 

[[No...]]

GMIT ... sorry you got the "window closed" treatment ... it will be back around soon ...

 

Welcome to the thread Jrod ... you will feel "comfortable" and encouraged here ...

 

I have been married too long ... she is getting too good with the one-liners ... walking around moaning this aches and that aches and even my knuckles ache ... her response ... quit dragging them on the carpet then ....

 

Building these small planter thingies is more exercise than I have gotten in months ... feels good to be achey ... not much symptoms today ... had another short morning "rush" that went quickly ...

 

Have a comfortable day, Folks ...

[[...]]

Thx life4me,freeofV , Jenny and to all on this wonderful thread.

I'm seeing my pdoc today to get my dose of  "you just have to ride the wave".

 

I'm again in that dark depressed place, hopeless scared thinking I may not make it out.

Feel on the edge hanging on thread like I'm losing my sanity.

Don't mean to be a downer but I'm in ugly territory. I hope my doc can talk me down some this afternoon.

 

Thk u all

 

[[pe...]]

Jrod- after you get your dose of 'ride the wave' from your pdoc, could you come back here and spread it around? I am in need of some serious reassurance. I feel my desperation rising, not because it's so bad but because I want it to be over already!

 

I hope you get what you're looking for from the doc.

 

Peace2

 

 

[[No...]]

Hi Peace ... yeah I know the "let it be over already" stuff ... we have been at this a long time ... I have no "advice" ... sorry ... and we are more "in our lives" than we were a while ago ...

 

[[Ro...]]

I need some encouragement. I am in my 13 going on 14 month withdrawal from Ambien. Pain has went way down, but sound sensitivity and I do not want to talk much to my family because of the body issues that go on in side my body. If I do not talk then I have less to deal with. Plus headaches. I have some good days and then I am back in the recliner. No one I know off has had any thing like this to deal with and its very hard for me. I feel so alone most of the time just trying to keep my mind busy and yet not over worked by talking. Does anyone have an ear. Thanks 

[[...]]

Hey peace;

 

Well as I suspected my pdoc said hang on it will get better. Hopefully you'll be out much sooner than expected.

 

He also said if things don't improve soon, that we may consider going on a low dose 3mg of doxipin. I would hate to half to go on another ad but he said its nothing like the evil remeron and cleaner than the typical ssri's.

Anyone have any info or exp on doxipin?

 

I'm disappointed that that's even a possibility after going through all these months getting off of rem.

hopefully things will settle and I'll be able to bypass the option.

This is by far the worst I've felt in quite the while. 

Thank God it's temp! But would like it all gone by morn!

 

Thk u all, jrod