6-12 month thread....

[[Mo...]]

I need to remind myself sometimes when the thoughts say "Can't!!" I need to remember I CAN.

 

One of my favorite withdrawal journeys I've read is Northofhere. NoH cold-turkied twice before doing a taper. Once off, continued to work full time (with an hour commute each way) and pursue a master's degree, traveled, ate as usual, etc etc. Even had surgery and a biopsy done. All this through some of the worst symptoms of fear/panic/anxiety/depression/etc I've read in posts. Never took extra medication to assist either. NoH has posted a success story a while back, and is now almost three years post withdrawal.

 

I love NoH's journey of withdrawal so much, because it has taught me that although it may feel uncomfy, I CAN do it YES, I CAN!

 

Thank you, Lord, that I CAN.

 

Hope y'all are enjoying your night Love you all Take care,

 

Mrs.

 

WOW... What a great story Mrs.  Thank you for posting!!  I LOVE the t-shirt Ideas!!!!

 

If we could get t-shirts made about the benzo experience...  :laugh:

 

"I survived Benzodiazepine Withdrawal 2013!"

"I went through benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

"It's a benzodiazepine thing, you just wouldn't understand."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome Survivors: We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunction."

"Keep calm and withdrawal on."

"What happens in benzodiazepine withdrawal, stays with benzodiazepine withdrawal."?

"Benzodiazepine withdrawal: been there, done that.  Got the t-shirt."

"No pressure, no problems; Benzodiazepine-style."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal: Are we there yet?!"

"No, yours is the other White Pill."

"Tolerance is calling and I must taper."

"Chillin' without Pillin'."

 

OMG...hahahahaha. Totally awesome... the best I've read in a long time.

[[dr...]]

I need to remind myself sometimes when the thoughts say "Can't!!" I need to remember I CAN.

 

One of my favorite withdrawal journeys I've read is Northofhere. NoH cold-turkied twice before doing a taper. Once off, continued to work full time (with an hour commute each way) and pursue a master's degree, traveled, ate as usual, etc etc. Even had surgery and a biopsy done. All this through some of the worst symptoms of fear/panic/anxiety/depression/etc I've read in posts. Never took extra medication to assist either. NoH has posted a success story a while back, and is now almost three years post withdrawal.

 

I love NoH's journey of withdrawal so much, because it has taught me that although it may feel uncomfy, I CAN do it YES, I CAN!

 

Thank you, Lord, that I CAN.

 

Hope y'all are enjoying your night Love you all Take care,

 

Mrs.

 

WOW... What a great story Mrs.  Thank you for posting!!  I LOVE the t-shirt Ideas!!!!

 

If we could get t-shirts made about the benzo experience...  :laugh:

 

"I survived Benzodiazepine Withdrawal 2013!"

"I went through benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

"It's a benzodiazepine thing, you just wouldn't understand."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome Survivors: We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunction."

"Keep calm and withdrawal on."

"What happens in benzodiazepine withdrawal, stays with benzodiazepine withdrawal."?

"Benzodiazepine withdrawal: been there, done that.  Got the t-shirt."

"No pressure, no problems; Benzodiazepine-style."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal: Are we there yet?!"

"No, yours is the other White Pill."

"Tolerance is calling and I must taper."

"Chillin' without Pillin'."

 

OMG...hahahahaha. Totally awesome... the best I've read in a long time.

 

 

Those are hilarious!  I just spent the weekend moving. Exhausted but no major wave yet. Just feel yucky. Hope everyone is okay.

[[Mo...]]

Awesome news Drew!!  I hope the move was a good thing.  Keep us posted!

[[Pe...]]

 

If we could get t-shirts made about the benzo experience...  :laugh:

 

"I survived Benzodiazepine Withdrawal 2013!"

"I went through benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

"It's a benzodiazepine thing, you just wouldn't understand."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome Survivors: We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunction."

"Keep calm and withdrawal on."

"What happens in benzodiazepine withdrawal, stays with benzodiazepine withdrawal."?

"Benzodiazepine withdrawal: been there, done that.  Got the t-shirt."

"No pressure, no problems; Benzodiazepine-style."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal: Are we there yet?!"

"No, yours is the other White Pill."

"Tolerance is calling and I must taper."

"Chillin' without Pillin'"

 

 

 

[[dr...]]

It should say "head pressure, no problems". 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... 4:30 AM here ... jittery ... and calm ... a seemingly long, meandering dream ... a city-scape ... nighttime ... the greys and blues of diffused street lights ... moving down a boulevard ... a child moving about ahead of me ...

 

This feels like a "snapshot" of my recovery ... a "painting" ... sitting here "feeling" the moment of it ... not searching for "meaning" ... allowing myself to "be" the "feeling-tone" of the dream ...

 

Another day ... a blessing for all of us ...

 

The "We put the fun in dysfunctional" hooked me ...

 

Have a good Tuesday ...

[[Sk...]]

I loved some of your posts and I wanted to quote them. This brought me face to face with the fact that there are still things, small things that are like rocket science to my poor little stunned brain .

 

Things that are not important in the big picture but that stand for something on these benzo days. As much as I complain, I am aware that this is a second chance to get my life sorted. I know all this. How can one go on and not be humble afer going through all this ?

 

Anyway, this is just a quick note to say that my period has arrived as of yesterday. This to comes with a price.

 

I did not have my period for years, the minute I ct my periods returned, so I am grateful because it is good, it means that things are going as they should . But, I suffer and I am unbearable in these days so it is very hard for me and my loved ones.

 

I am skipping my little errands that help give structure and peace  to my days.

 

I can feel the storm brewing, so today I am just going to spend the day drawing and I will lie a little in the sun !

 

I wish the best to everybody for today. Say a prayer for me as well, please.

 

 

Pencil, paper, ready .

[[No...]]

SkyHD ... the brewing storm will come and go ... its just a little "weather" ... and we are so good at weathering ... be in the sun ... let the pencil move you through today ...

 

Believe me, nothing is "rocket science" ... if it "feels" like rocket science today ... you can put it "back on the shelf" ... allow it to "percolate" in its own time for a while ... gestation ... everything can always use a little incubation ... even us ...

 

When you hold that dried kernel of corn in your hand its "mystery" is unreachable ... apply a little "heat" and "pop" ... your have something marvelous ...

 

Have a lovely day ...

[[...]]

Nova, you sound good today!! I love reading your posts!

 

6 months today! Half a year I have denied benzos to ruin my life by streaming through me!!

 

Healing, healing, healing!!!

 

[[pe...]]

Congratulations, GMIT! You are getting there one step at a time. I hope these next six months are full of healing and good days. You'll arrive at one year before you know it   

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Good morning buds.....hope everyone had a good night with sleep...

....drew...great proceeded!...moving puts non- benzo people in turmoil....hope you are loving your bee place.

.....Nova...you are sounding so good...I will be visiting your blog this morning....wishing you many sunbreaks today

.....Sky...the small moments are the ones our lives are built on...enjoy the ' down ' day in the sun...rest and draw...we need to meet ourselves in the quiet

.......I have been 24 hours b/p med free and my depression is a little lighter this morning...a mild headache and minimal head pressure.hoping this diuretic will help my morning b/p spikes. ..  .    ..  ..and I can stay off the b/p meds...I am doing EVERYTHING to keep it good...clean green diet...yoga...etc etc. My intuition tells me it is w/d and at some point I wont need the b/p meds.

.......I was shocked and beyond sad to hear of Robin W's death. He was a definitive influence on my generation ( the Mindy and Mork and SNL years). I loved Goodwill Hunting..Patch Adams..Mrs Doubtfire and Good Morning Vietnam ....I know he recently completed a drug detox and it makes me wonder about w/d . ....do very sad....

 

 

[[Mo...]]

Good Morning kids,

 

Made it thru the night.  Not much sleep.  The kids slept with me and tossed and turned.  I remember sweating at some point in the night, but nothing else.  The little one is a the bottom of the bed about to fall off and the big one is sideways.  I do not have a funk on me, but dislike waking up to a quiet house.  It's not melancholy just too quiet.  I'm glad there isn't a funk on my.  I am going to open the curtains and let the sun in then spend some time in prayer. 

 

Beautiful words Nova.  That's right.  The corn kernel is a  mystery, but just a little heat and a mystery no more.

 

GMIT- Congratulations.  6 months is huge!

 

Sky -  You are right.  It means the body is returning to it's normal function.  Waves have lined up with my cycles before, but this dissipates too.  It won't always be this way. 

 

Peace - I didn't get to watch my show, but that's ok.  The kids and I got under the covers and watch Sponge Bob. 

 

Will check in later,

MommyR

[[Mo...]]

Good morning buds.....hope everyone had a good night with sleep...

....drew...great proceeded!...moving puts non- benzo people in turmoil....hope you are loving your bee place.

.....Nova...you are sounding so good...I will be visiting your blog this morning....wishing you many sunbreaks today

.....Sky...the small moments are the ones our lives are built on...enjoy the ' down ' day in the sun...rest and draw...we need to meet ourselves in the quiet

.......I have been 24 hours b/p med free and my depression is a little lighter this morning...a mild headache and minimal head pressure.hoping this diuretic will help my morning b/p spikes. ..  .    ..  ..and I can stay off the b/p meds...I am doing EVERYTHING to keep it good...clean green diet...yoga...etc etc. My intuition tells me it is w/d and at some point I wont need the b/p meds.

.......I was shocked and beyond sad to hear of Robin W's death. He was a definitive influence on my generation ( the Mindy and Mork and SNL years). I loved Goodwill Hunting..Patch Adams..Mrs Doubtfire and Good Morning Vietnam ....I know he recently completed a drug detox and it makes me wonder about w/d . ....do very sad....

 

Hi Coop,

 

Great news on the b/p meds.  Keep it going.  Yup, I am confident it is w/d.  Good job on keeping it clean.  It's important to do what we can to help the healing process.  Yes, the news about Robin is terrible.  He will be missed.  I often wonder if anyone on the boards is a celebrity.  Being that famous can make life hard to just exist when you need too.  We are fortunate to have BB here and our support group and all the wonderful people who have told their success stories.  I am going to pray and say everyone's name. 

 

Healing comes.  Be encouraged everyone. 

 

MommyR

[[mr...]]

Mommy, I will take a prayer. Thank you for offering it.

 

Despite what I may see and feel today, I choose to believe that my healing is manifesting as we speak. My window that opens and never really closes is less than 15 minutes away. Today is the day that the corner has turned; Amen. Yes Lord, it us so.

 

Take care,

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

MommyR- This one is for you.

My sons, three and six, are in the backyard building a playground. We hear the hose turn on and I pop my head out the backdoor to ask what they're up to.

The oldest says," I'm washing off my brother's feet." I say, "ok. Turn the hose off when you're done."

The oldest goes to turn off the hose and says, "Point it at your face."

"Why?" asks the little guy. He, of course does it and gets sprayed in the face with a quick blast of cold water.

The older brother is laughing his pants off.

I wait for the scream and what I hear instead from the little guy, "Do it again!"

 

 

I am really sad about Robin Williams too. Ugh. I've cried a lot of times. I saw a recent photo of him awhile ago. In Minnesota for rehab and I remember thinking - something is very wrong. He is vanishing. I can relate.

I just keep saying - It's not my story. I am here. I'm not going anywhere. Though, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it. Almost everyday. But - It's not my story. In my story, I get better. We all do.

 

Coop- I hope the new medication helps and that you can pull into a permanent window.

 

MommyR- You are a champ for sleeping with your roll-polly kids. I just can not do it. I'm such alight sleeper and sleep is just too precious right now! After you open up the curtains to let the sun in, put on the Happy song.

 

I appreciate the prayer running through the thread. It is such a deep thoughtfulness and I feel it.

 

Hugs to every one-

Peace2

 

 

[[li...]]

peace, you are not vanishing! I too was affected about hearing the things that happen to people that are depressed. It tends to hit home. I am so scared of this last remaining symptom. I just get so in a despairing mode that it scares me.I wonder if Robin William's was on benzos and whether he was detoxing from that? Who knows. We have this depression due to benzos and that is about it. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of that.

 

Life

[[Co...]]

Ok buds....anyone out there past 8 months with a return of acute like anxiety....I seem to be in a 5 day wave of depression/ anxiety... I havent been this bad for at least 6 weeks...almost wanting to take something for the anxiety but resisting....staying busy busy busy....lots of physical s/x .....head band tightness...dizziness ( part of the anxiety)...pressured ears....

......feeling desperate which only makes it worse....trying to ride the wave .. .just venting....hope everyone else is having a better day. .....Mrs...prayers for you and all. ..coop

[[li...]]

Ok buds....anyone out there past 8 months with a return of acute like anxiety....I seem to be in a 5 day wave of depression/ anxiety... I havent been this bad for at least 6 weeks...almost wanting to take something for the anxiety but resisting....staying busy busy busy....lots of physical s/x .....head band tightness...dizziness ( part of the anxiety)...pressured ears....

......feeling desperate which only makes it worse....trying to ride the wave .. .just venting....hope everyone else is having a better day. .....Mrs...prayers for you and all. ..coop

 

 

Feeling desperate is what makes it worst. I feel the same way today and all I want to do is find a treatment or anything to JUST make it go away. This process is very grueling coop. We just have to force ourselves to be present -- to accept "what is". I am trying everything but after an almost 4 week window there are no other words for this than this sucks! I do not have the out of control anxiety but I have the large depression and I am frightened by it. Coop I and all of us are here for you. The symptoms we are experiencing are definitely benzos and it could all come to a window in a minute, hour, day, week -- it will come.

 

life

[[pe...]]

Thank you, Life. I've actually been doing pretty well for a few days. Mild symptoms and constant looking over my shoulder. I hope your depression lifts very soon. I'm going to go light that candle again.

 

Coop- I have a friend who left the boards but we still keep in touch through private email. She was seeing great healing when month 8 rolled in. She went through a terrible wave for a week or so, thinking she was back in acute, thinking she had an untreated anxiety disorder. Then it rolled out and she's had very low symptoms since. This is probably the same wave for you. In and then out and then better.

 

Peace2

[[Fr...]]

Hi Peace,

 

It's great to hear you're feeling better!  That's wonderful news.  Thanks also for that bit on your friend.

 

Coop - feel better soon!

 

healing thoughts to you all

 

 

I am in a bad wave too and looking for a window.

 

 

 

[[Co...]]

Thank you Life and Peace...I am so taken off gaurd by this...mini panics in which the Benzo Beast wants to convince me that my brain is swelling ( crazy I know) and I know it is not. This happened in June and went away... I researched enderal and it crosses the blood/brain barrier so I am hesitant about it. Hoping the diuretic will keep my b/p nice. Actually my b/p was 120/70 after an epsome salts hot bath soak. So I am not wanting to take the enderal ( propanolol). ...I am finding some reassurance on the 'head pressure ' thread. ...

.....Life...I am so sorry about the scary depression.I truly want it to lift for you. Your words are strong and true.."it is gruelling and we have to keep moving forward "....Like all of us,  Life,  you so deserve healing and I know you are going to get there. I am thinking of you and sending prayers. ...love to you friend....coop

[[Co...]]

Peace...I am sp glad yo hear that you have had some good days...you have worked long and hard and the breaks have been a long time coming. ....You will have more and more good days and as Mrs says, " the turn around with total healing could be in the next 15 minutes...or 5 minutes "....enjoy your good day...

[[Co...]]

Lisa...sp sorry that you are in a wave....stinks...you also have worked long and hard. Jump on the boogie board with me and lets ride this bad boy wave into shore and go visit Nova on hid patio and have tea and admire his planters....coop

[[li...]]

Coop thank you for your words of encouragement. I simply cant get my arms around how in a wave everything seems so permeant.

 

Peace, I can see that you are healing by your writings. I pray that you will heal once and now! I read your words on the depression thread and it was so nice too hear that.

 

Life

[[Fr...]]

I would love to hop on a boogie board Coop and actually have some fun.

 

Here is a poem from the poet Ellen Bass's book, Mules of Love.

 

The Thing Is    By Ellen Bass

 

to love life, to love it even

when you have no stomach for it

and everything you've held dear

crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,

Your grief sits with you like your own flesh

only more of it, and obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face,

no charming smile, no violet eyes,

and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you, again.