6-12 month thread....

[[mr...]]

Psalm 18...lovely

 

Thank you

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

Mommy& life, hi jenny

Yes after getting off lunesta, put on .25 Xanax for 3 months, I couldn't tolerate it any longer.

Hives and all other sx felt I was going to die after dosing.

 

I hear from many that it's classic benzo WD. But on the remeron WD thread there are quite a few pep that didn't see much relief until they were 3-4 months out. I'm 2 1/2 .

Sometimes I feel that most of my debilitating symptoms come from the rem WD. Theses sxs are so acute that at 8 months off of benzos and 72 days off remeron, I'm entertaining going back on some AD. The rem was the first AD I've been on and I hope it's the last. 5 months on it and only had one good month, the rest was horrible side effects.

 

Life, I'm glad u got off when u did. 8 weeks is a long time when you have benzos in the background !

 

I'm going to try to hang on until at least one more month goes by. Then I'll be able to tell if its the rem or the classic benzo WD.

 

Thank u all!

[[mr...]]

JRod, good call on giving it one more month You can do this, pal. One day at a time with me

 

Take care,

 

Mrs.

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies...

....Nova,  Life and Peace and Jrod....I am riding the wave with you today. I don't know what the heck happened...woke up this morning back in acute...its not even throw back Thurs. ...Anxiety that is mostly chemical,  but carrying a punch of health fear ..head pressure and buzzing...depression and back to being afraid of thoughts..any thoughts ..even the good ones. Wow..I really haven't seen this tough of a day since month 6. It cycled in and out all day yesterday and settled in for the day today. ...Miserable and scared ...Now I remember exactly how awful month 6 and acute was. ...I guess I needed a reminder that this healing is not not not linear...this seems out of whack for my more recent 24 hour waves and back to a 70-75% baseline. ....Just wanting to hear from those that are 9-12 months out that this is normal p/w. ......My doctor is changing my b/p med and I am afraid to take the call...absolutely afraid to hear about any medication even though I have gone through positive self talk ( " its only a conversation...you don't have to take anything you don't want to " .." you have a great doc you know he will work with you " ..etcetc)...  Doing my best to 'be ' with it....

......Nova Peace Life and Jrod....hope you are all doing better... wanting this to be over over over for all of us.....I will check back in tonight hopefully with a better post....coop

[[Mo...]]

Mommy& life, hi jenny

Yes after getting off lunesta, put on .25 Xanax for 3 months, I couldn't tolerate it any longer.

Hives and all other sx felt I was going to die after dosing.

 

I hear from many that it's classic benzo WD. But on the remeron WD thread there are quite a few pep that didn't see much relief until they were 3-4 months out. I'm 2 1/2 .

Sometimes I feel that most of my debilitating symptoms come from the rem WD. Theses sxs are so acute that at 8 months off of benzos and 72 days off remeron, I'm entertaining going back on some AD. The rem was the first AD I've been on and I hope it's the last. 5 months on it and only had one good month, the rest was horrible side effects.

 

Life, I'm glad u got off when u did. 8 weeks is a long time when you have benzos in the background !

 

I'm going to try to hang on until at least one more month goes by. Then I'll be able to tell if its the rem or the classic benzo WD.

 

Thank u all!

 

Jrod.. Good job.  I am soooo sorry this is hard, but you have come so far.  I remember calling my Dr and them saying just hang on and push thru.  You can do it Jrod.  Just a bit longer.

[[Mo...]]

Hi buddies...

....Nova,  Life and Peace and Jrod....I am riding the wave with you today. I don't know what the heck happened...woke up this morning back in acute...its not even throw back Thurs. ...Anxiety that is mostly chemical,  but carrying a punch of health fear ..head pressure and buzzing...depression and back to being afraid of thoughts..any thoughts ..even the good ones. Wow..I really haven't seen this tough of a day since month 6. It cycled in and out all day yesterday and settled in for the day today. ...Miserable and scared ...Now I remember exactly how awful month 6 and acute was. ...I guess I needed a reminder that this healing is not not not linear...this seems out of whack for my more recent 24 hour waves and back to a 70-75% baseline. ....Just wanting to hear from those that are 9-12 months out that this is normal p/w. ......My doctor is changing my b/p med and I am afraid to take the call...absolutely afraid to hear about any medication even though I have gone through positive self talk ( " its only a conversation...you don't have to take anything you don't want to " .." you have a great doc you know he will work with you " ..etcetc)...  Doing my best to 'be ' with it....

......Nova Peace Life and Jrod....hope you are all doing better... wanting this to be over over over for all of us.....I will check back in tonight hopefully with a better post....coop

 

Coop, I'm so sorry.  It's just bp medicine.  Everyone takes it.  It will be ok.  You are healthy.  Remember you just had a check up.  You are healthy.  This can blow out just like it blew in.  I just prayed for everyone with my mom.  We got on the phone and prayed for all of you. 

[[Mo...]]

Psalm 18...lovely

 

Thank you

 

Mrs.

 

It's a really good one Mrs.  I love this Psalm.  Doesn't get much worse then hiding in a cave and feigning insanity because a king and all his buddies want you dead. 

[[Co...]]

MommyR...you are an amazing person...I know you are going through all of this w/d misery like the rest of us yet you are so supportive ..write wonderful informative and funny posts...thank you so much for the prayers. ...love to you....coop

[[Mo...]]

I'm having a blah morning and early afternoon. I couldn't sleep last night, probably from the half-caff coffee I drank last night while writing my paper. I wasn't anxious just awake. Now I am feeling uncomfortable, with this almost electrical feeling running around my rib cage, chest anxiety, internal jitters, and that feeling like something is wrong.  It's not to the level it used to be, but I'm discouraged it's finding its way back. I'm sure hoping this doesn't stick around long!

I'm going to lay down and take a nap. That no-sleeping thing is brutal! I don't know how I functioned for so many months with it!!!  Thank God for naps and the ability to take one.

 

I seem to be heading down an icky trail.  Slight panic and tight breathing sensations.  It is staying low lying.  Might because hubby left.  No chest anxiety.  Trying not to listen to news for the last few days.  I hope the nap helped.  I'm just going to ride this out and see if it stays low. 

[[Mo...]]

MommyR...you are an amazing person...I know you are going through all of this w/d misery like the rest of us yet you are so supportive ..write wonderful informative and funny posts...thank you so much for the prayers. ...love to you....coop

 

Honestly, I am avoiding the Dr right now.  I am supposed to call a specialist again, but I don't want to because I don't want to deal with health stuff.  I feel I have had enough blood and urine, ct scans etc. for the moment.  I just want to live right now and not worry, so when you say you don't want to talk to the Dr.  I understand.  Mine is prob not serious and just a 'me' thing, but it doesn't matter does it.  The doctors set us on this path and now we are traumatized by them be it chemical or situational and I'm tired of it.  My husband is tired of it.  Thank you for the compliment and I consider myself in good company.   

[[mr...]]

My hunny is away thus evening as well, Mommy. I know this is a chemical anxiety, and not of a genuine nature. I am glad he left, and am looking forward to dealing with it tonight. We have what it takes. We can do this.

 

Coop, hang tight dear. I do not like anxiety, panic, fear, worry, etc. I was never like this pre-benzos, either. Likewise, I will not be like this afterwards either. It is just a process, and it will get better soon. So, sooo much better I have read of other buddies experiencing a wave at around 9-10 months, so I don't believe that what you're experiencing is uncommon, buddy It'll pass soon, I am sure of it.

 

I'm so grateful for this community here One day at a time That window could be 15 minutes away...yes, it CAN be!

 

Take care,

 

Mrs.

[[Mo...]]

My hunny is away thus evening as well, Mommy. I know this is a chemical anxiety, and not of a genuine nature. I am glad he left, and am looking forward to dealing with it tonight. We have what it takes. We can do this.

 

Coop, hang tight dear. I do not like anxiety, panic, fear, worry, etc. I was never like this pre-benzos, either. Likewise, I will not be like this afterwards either. It is just a process, and it will get better soon. So, sooo much better I have read of other buddies experiencing a wave at around 9-10 months, so I don't believe that what you're experiencing is uncommon, buddy It'll pass soon, I am sure of it.

 

I'm so grateful for this community here One day at a time That window could be 15 minutes away...yes, it CAN be!

 

Take care,

 

Mrs.

 

Ok Mrs.. you pray for me and I will pray for you.  Can I add I keep breaking out in a sweat.  It's always around the rim of my face and neck. I am leaving my computer on because it's we are all sitting and talking. 

[[pe...]]

Hi Buddies! I'm having a close to normal day, some might call it a window. Not me though, I'm a perfectionist . I'm having light dr and fatigue and lots of work dreading. The last one is not uniquely a withdrawal symptom.

I've started watching a super silly television series about teenagers and one of them is this hunky heartthrob, who is twenty-two in real life so I don't feel quite so awful about it. But I look forward to this show all day. It's keeping me out of the quicksand, that's for sure. So, my goofball advice is find an unattainable heartthrob and fall in love.

 

I'm sorry for my dear friends Coop and Life. You are both going to turn out of this in a quick minute. Coop, you kept that window log for a reason. This seems like a good time to go and read it. Life, there are numerous posts written during your great days. We all know this is up and down, back and forth. Until it isn't. Time is on your side. And we love you.

 

Peace2

 

[[No...]]

Folks ... this is all "normal" ... none of this stuff is threatening at all ... we have been down these roads too many times ... we are safe ... just another experience of healing ... we can all just hold hands and get through the evening or the morning or the afternoon wherever we are ... another opportunity to feel how grounded and durable we are ...

 

Breathe ...

 

[[...]]

Peace!! So happy for you!! Jump through that window...perfectionist you say? Jump through that PERFECT window!! 

 

Nova, so agree...we are so lucky to have one another! The support, the friendship! Wonderful!!

 

Thanks to each of you!

 

:smitten:

[[Mo...]]

Peace!! So happy for you!! Jump through that window...perfectionist you say? Jump through that PERFECT window!! 

 

Nova, so agree...we are so lucky to have one another! The support, the friendship! Wonderful!!

 

Thanks to each of you!

 

:smitten:

 

PEEEEEEEEEEEEACE-  That was the best thing I have read allllllllllllllll day! haha.. Ok, maybe not all day but I needed it right now.  I think I will go get some ice cream with the kids and find a hunky show to watch.  Totally gigging

 

Nove - Thank you for that hug.  I felt it big time.  Durable.  I will hold on to that word.

 

GMIT - Yup we have each other thru this. 

[[Co...]]

Nova....you are a treasure and a blessing dear friend. I have been reading your post over and over....so very grounding...thank you.

......Mrs. ...thank you for the great support...so glad you are here

.....Peace....yes,  you are so right...I have kept a window journal for exactly days like this.

.....Mommy....I am right there with you....I just want to live my life for awhile and not worry about s/x and new meds. ..it is only a b/p med...and probably a change for the better as the new one is enderal and short acting so I can take it in the morning when my b/p is more often elevated ( cortisol surges)...so less depression from it but maybe more cortisol bursts as b/p meds block cortisol but the body 'stockpiles ' the unused cortisol and releases it in a surge in between doses . ....I am willing to try it...he is agreeable to a week trial of a mild diuretic before starting the enderal...so it might be a good thing. I was off of my b/p meds until the head pressure came back. I think it is all w/d anxiety. ..I didn't have b/p problems before benzos..  at least he is not asking for an mri or echo or some other scary test...that I have had already and came through with a clean bill of health....so back to epsome salts hot baths meditation CBT and deep breathing...Thank you so much for the support....you are all amazingly wonderful people....love to each one of you....coop

[[Co...]]

Nova....you are a treasure and a blessing dear friend. I have been reading your post over and over....so very grounding...thank you.

......Mrs. ...thank you for the great support...so glad you are here

.....Peace....yes,  you are so right...I have kept a window journal for exactly days like this.

.....Mommy....I am right there with you....I just want to live my life for awhile and not worry about s/x and new meds. ..it is only a b/p med...and probably a change for the better as the new one is enderal and short acting so I can take it in the morning when my b/p is more often elevated ( cortisol surges)...so less depression from it but maybe more cortisol bursts as b/p meds block cortisol but the body 'stockpiles ' the unused cortisol and releases it in a surge in between doses . ....I am willing to try it...he is agreeable to a week trial of a mild diuretic before starting the enderal...so it might be a good thing. I was off of my b/p meds until the head pressure came back. I think it is all w/d anxiety. ..I didn't have b/p problems before benzos..  at least he is not asking for an mri or echo or some other scary test...that I have had already and came through with a clean bill of health....so back to epsome salts hot baths meditation CBT and deep breathing...Thank you so much for the support....you are all amazingly wonderful people....love to each one of you....coop

Folks ... this is all "normal" ... none of this stuff is threatening at all ... we have been down these roads too many times ... we are safe ... just another experience of healing ... we can all just hold hands and get through the evening or the morning or the afternoon wherever we are ... another opportunity to feel how grounded and durable we are ...

 

Breathe ...

 

[[Fr...]]

Mommy and Mrs, feel better soon and enjoy the shows you're watching.  You two deserve to feel so wonderful with your kids.

 

Nova, I just took a peek at your blog and think it's a great idea.  I'm glad you're feeling well enough to  begin entertaining the future.

 

Coop, you will pull out of this soon. You're healing so nicely.

 

I'm really having tough physical symptoms lately of pain, burning, head pressure and a tough time sleeping.  I'm hanging in.

 

Have a good evening all,

Lisa

[[Co...]]

Lol...so sorry...I did that whole wore thing wrong wrong wrong...being the techie genius that I am ( lol)....I was trying to quote Nova...not myself....time to give it a rest for awhile...

......sleep good friends....coop

[[mr...]]

Hi gang

 

Thought we could use some good humor tonight, so I thought I'd dig this one out of the archives I can't take credit for all these; these were a collaborative effort of a bunch of my buddies on the Xanax support group as well as the "Let's Chat" thread

 

Anyways, enjoy!

 

Just stopping in to say, I think its time to resurrect this good 'ole post:

 

Just dialing it down and relaxing tonight

 

If we could get t-shirts made about the benzo experience...  :laugh:

 

"I survived Benzodiazepine Withdrawal 2013!"

"I went through benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

"It's a benzodiazepine thing, you just wouldn't understand."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome Survivors: We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunction."

"Keep calm and withdrawal on."

"What happens in benzodiazepine withdrawal, stays with benzodiazepine withdrawal."?

"Benzodiazepine withdrawal: been there, done that.  Got the t-shirt."

"No pressure, no problems; Benzodiazepine-style."

"Benzodiazepine Withdrawal: Are we there yet?!"

"No, yours is the other White Pill."

"Tolerance is calling and I must taper."

"Chillin' without Pillin'." (Thanks Blue and Hopeful! )

 

Okay, okay...I'm out 

 

:laugh:

 

Mrs.

[[li...]]

I'm having a blah morning and early afternoon. I couldn't sleep last night, probably from the half-caff coffee I drank last night while writing my paper. I wasn't anxious just awake. Now I am feeling uncomfortable, with this almost electrical feeling running around my rib cage, chest anxiety, internal jitters, and that feeling like something is wrong.  It's not to the level it used to be, but I'm discouraged it's finding its way back. I'm sure hoping this doesn't stick around long!

I'm going to lay down and take a nap. That no-sleeping thing is brutal! I don't know how I functioned for so many months with it!!!  Thank God for naps and the ability to take one.

 

I seem to be heading down an icky trail.  Slight panic and tight breathing sensations.  It is staying low lying.  Might because hubby left.  No chest anxiety.  Trying not to listen to news for the last few days.  I hope the nap helped.  I'm just going to ride this out and see if it stays low.

 

Mommr, remember that it is not the anxiety that causes a wave; it is the overwhelming amount of other stimulus on top of each other that causes a wave. I guess what I am saying is that having anxiety or heightened stress does not automatically cause a wave. This will pass for you. bet you 1000 dollars?

[[li...]]

Hi Buddies! I'm having a close to normal day, some might call it a window. Not me though, I'm a perfectionist . I'm having light dr and fatigue and lots of work dreading. The last one is not uniquely a withdrawal symptom.

I've started watching a super silly television series about teenagers and one of them is this hunky heartthrob, who is twenty-two in real life so I don't feel quite so awful about it. But I look forward to this show all day. It's keeping me out of the quicksand, that's for sure. So, my goofball advice is find an unattainable heartthrob and fall in love.

 

I'm sorry for my dear friends Coop and Life. You are both going to turn out of this in a quick minute. Coop, you kept that window log for a reason. This seems like a good time to go and read it. Life, there are numerous posts written during your great days. We all know this is up and down, back and forth. Until it isn't. Time is on your side. And we love you.

 

Peace2

 

Peace this is so awesome! You sound great! proves there is life after 6 months. It will get better for you!Every day in every way we are getting stronger and stronger!

[[mr...]]

I need to remind myself sometimes when the thoughts say "Can't!!" I need to remember I CAN.

 

One of my favorite withdrawal journeys I've read is Northofhere. NoH cold-turkied twice before doing a taper. Once off, continued to work full time (with an hour commute each way) and pursue a master's degree, traveled, ate as usual, etc etc. Even had surgery and a biopsy done. All this through some of the worst symptoms of fear/panic/anxiety/depression/etc I've read in posts. Never took extra medication to assist either. NoH has posted a success story a while back, and is now almost three years post withdrawal.

 

I love NoH's journey of withdrawal so much, because it has taught me that although it may feel uncomfy, I CAN do it YES, I CAN!

 

Thank you, Lord, that I CAN.

 

Hope y'all are enjoying your night Love you all Take care,

 

Mrs.

[[Mo...]]

I'm having a blah morning and early afternoon. I couldn't sleep last night, probably from the half-caff coffee I drank last night while writing my paper. I wasn't anxious just awake. Now I am feeling uncomfortable, with this almost electrical feeling running around my rib cage, chest anxiety, internal jitters, and that feeling like something is wrong.  It's not to the level it used to be, but I'm discouraged it's finding its way back. I'm sure hoping this doesn't stick around long!

I'm going to lay down and take a nap. That no-sleeping thing is brutal! I don't know how I functioned for so many months with it!!!  Thank God for naps and the ability to take one.

 

I seem to be heading down an icky trail.  Slight panic and tight breathing sensations.  It is staying low lying.  Might because hubby left.  No chest anxiety.  Trying not to listen to news for the last few days.  I hope the nap helped.  I'm just going to ride this out and see if it stays low.

 

Mommr, remember that it is not the anxiety that causes a wave; it is the overwhelming amount of other stimulus on top of each other that causes a wave. I guess what I am saying is that having anxiety or heightened stress does not automatically cause a wave. This will pass for you. bet you 1000 dollars?

 

hahahah.. Man, that makes me laugh.  Is that what causes a wave?.. overwhelming stimulation?...because my house is full of stimulation!  I want to be handed stress and be able to handle it again.  Give me a job and laundry, food, money, sick kid, tired husband.. hand it all to me and let me stand strong again.

 

Chop wood..carry water..